 The proprietors of Elisberg Industries are leaving on a corporate retreat this morning for a few days to Chicago. In the interim, the company elves have arrived at the homestead to keep the lights on here and make sure this site stays up and running. At least that's the hope -- most of them are reasonably responsible and trustworthy, though I've placed a time lock on the refrigerator. I will do my best to continue posting here each day -- though I can't guarantee the consistency or subject matter, since upper management will be trying its best to block out politics as we focus on other matters. Though I would imagine some will seep through the cracks. The good news is that it's unlikely many postings during this period will reach the same interminable length readers here have grown accustomed to. Though I can't guarantee that, either, since I've pre-written some... I have been asked by some if I plan to go to any Cubs games while in Chicago, since the team just began a homestand. Let me answer that this way: the temperature in Chicago today during the day is 39-degrees. At night, it will be 26-degrees. So, the answer is -- no. I love the Cubs. But I have been to Wrigley Field under such conditions. And this, I discovered, is why God created the television. And down jackets -- to be worn in the winter, not during a baseball game. Watch this space.
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If you didn't see Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on Sunday, the Main Story was about disability benefits, and the hurdles put up to get them. It's an extremely interesting story, which they do very well -- and also find a way to make it funny throughout. We also learn that John Oliver hates mimes. A lot. The service I use for this website has a glitch that doesn't happen often, but when it does it deeply galling. Every long once in a while, it logs itself out, and I have to sign back in. That's not the problem. The problem is that unless I have remembered to tap my mouse-pointer outside the text element I've written in, everything I've written will be lost.
Sometimes I remember to tap outside the text element when writing. Sometimes I forget, but I haven't written much, and it's easy to write it all again. But sometimes I come to the end of a long article, only to discover that I've been logged out, and the whole piece is lost. I should note that that's not a fun feeling when it happens. Occasionally, I remember the article well-enough to just retype it as best I can. Often, I just throw my hands up and say, "Screw it," and come up with something different. After I wrote the article for this morning -- and yes, it was finished -- I started to save it...when the site just logged itself off, and kicked me off. After ungnashing my teeth, I logged back in, hoping beyond hope that I had indeed tapped outside the text element box, not remembering if I had -- only to discover that I hadn't, and the whole article was gone. I was in the midst of saying, "Oh, scre..." when I stopped, because it was not a piece I wanted to just toss away. I was also not anxious to remember what I'd written and type it again, because it was not an especially enjoyable article to write in the first place. To have to write it twice? Even less so. But in the end, it was not an article I was willing to toss away. Happily, I was able to remember pretty much all of it. Unfortunately, I was able to remember pretty much all of it. It is with great pride, or at least an improvement on inertia, that Elisberg Industries has finally added a second member to our Corporate Board of Directors. We welcome Adam Belanoff as the Senior Executive VP of Shipping. Thanks to a fortuitous oversight, Adam Belanoff was brought in to head the shipping division despite a lack of qualifications. The result of a small mix-up, he applied under the mistaken belief that he would be working on boats and get to spend a lot of time on cruise ships. Despite that misunderstanding, Adam has shown himself adept at management, with a skill for hiring people below him who have great experience and then leaving them alone to do their job. This has allowed him to spend time away from Elisberg Industries and write on staff for such television shows as The Closer, Major Crimes, (which he insists are two different programs, but the latter is really The Closer with a paint job), Murphy Brown, Cosby and Titus, for which he famously wrote all the boat episodes, none of which got produced since the show didn’t involve seacraft. His first name is short for “Admiral.” As a service to our shareholders, Nell Minow will be doing governance oversight on Mr. Belanoff as soon as we get her the requested papers. This might take some time. Of course, since I own the majority of voting shares, his approval has already passed, so it's a moot point regardless of what she comes up with. If you have any issues with any of our fine products shipping to you properly, especially if it is perishable (we plan to institute a tropical fruit service), please know that you should take that up with the appropriate representative. Not Mr. Belanaoff. That's why he delegates. Also, the new season of Major Crimes is currently being written, so you probably wouldn't reach him anyway. And he asks us to mention that customers not keep asking about Cosby because, no, he doesn't know anything. "Might as well as Elisberg about O.J.," he says, "since he probably knows more about that." I don't.  Just to make clear for those semi-curious, it is only by total, unadulterated accident that my two postings today had to do with Hitler.
The good news is that in one, his orders were ignored -- and in the other, he was removed from the grocery shelves. 
As I mentioned, Tuesday is Travel Day. Heading back to Los Angeles from Chicago. I'll probably be posting something again in the early afternoon. The elves promise that they're cleaning up the hallway and reception area, so things should be looking okay again by then. If not, explanations will be due...
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 
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