September is on us, and so again is the IFA tech trade show in Berlin, Germany.  IFA is a massive undertaking, though not well-known in the U.S.  Think of it like the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, but based in Europe.  There are differences, of course.  One is that CES tends to deal a bit more with products that will be on your shelves during the coming year, while IFA is slightly more focused on innovation.  Also, what has struck me is that CES seems to veer more to the computer end of technology, while IFA has a greater interest in home appliances.
 
This is my fourth year at IFA.  The plane has landed at Tegel Airport – perhaps my least favorite airport in the world, that seems to have been inspired by a bus depot, which is okay for handling random flight traffic of puddle jumpers, but far less-so for an international facility.  I’m reasonably up to speed with only a minimal jet lag, so hopefully all should precede well.  (Because IFA only lasts five days, so you can’t afford much down-time, I start adjusting my bedtime/wake-up schedule each night the week before.  It’s certainly odd going to sleep the last night home at 7 PM and rising at 2 AM.  But it actually helps…) 
 
It took a few years to get a full grasp on the show.  At first, I tended to avoid the home appliance end.  But then when I realized it not only was such a vast part of the show, but also how hugely fascinating it was, I began to embrace it.  Home appliances are not what I generally write about – or care all that much about.  But that doesn’t keep me from being dazzled by so much of the advances and innovation in the field that is here.  So, I write about it more, at least this one time of the year.
 
It does indeed take a few years to figure out IFA.  The show is an odd fish.  Some of it is wonderful – sprawling, involving, beguiling, and at times remarkable.
 
And some of it is…well, not.   IFA has a dichotomy. Half the organization is split on the side of its history, founded in 1931 when it was a local trade show focused on radio, and so the German language predominates.  (IFA stands for Internationale Funkausstellung, which trips off the tongue.  Funk being radio, and ausstellung is an exhibition.)  Many press conferences are in German only (though some provide translation devices), and a great many press releases are in German, some German-only.  And that’s understandably fine – we’re in Germany, after all.  The thing is, the show has expanded vastly in the last 20 years, and if you want to be a tech trade show to the world (which IFA does) – the world doesn’t speak German.  This isn’t xenophobic, it’s reality.  The common language they speak in China, Spain, Denmark, Mexico, Israel, France, Japan, India, South Korea and on and on is English.  And so, that’s where IFA’s battle is with its other half, that part which wants to push into this “all the rest of the world.”
 
Another oddity is that, according to German law, if you use public facilities – as IFA does, situated on the Messe Fairgrounds – then your event must be opened to the public.  And so, after three days of pre-show press conferences and events, when the show officially begins, it is opened not just to the industry professionals and press who are there for the trade show (and make no mistake, that’s what this is, an industrial trade show), which is the case with most every other trade show in existence…but opened to the general public, as well.  And so the place becomes like Macy’s on the day after Thanksgiving.  Only worse and more maniacal.  The additional thing is, because all the companies know this, they understand that very little professional work will get done at this point, and so send their press representatives home.  That immediately and drastically diminishes the trade show’s effectiveness as a…well, trade show.  The result is that IFA is somewhat an event in reverse – it’s not that you can’t do work at IFA, you just realize that you do as much of your work as possible before IFA actually begins, during the pre-show events.
 
By the way, being a “show in reverse” turns out to be a fine description of IFA – as is the reality of it being on the Messe Fairgrounds, which is appropriately pronounced “messy.”  Thoroughly enjoyable as IFA truly is…it’s a convoluted circus.  And construction and design is at the heart of that.  Buildings are so spread out it can take 25 minutes to walk from one end to the other.  But much more than simple distance, which is a basic Einsteinian concept to surmount, it once took me 15 minutes to (I swear this is true) figure out how to get from the second floor of one building to the third floor.  Another time, a group of us went to a Samsung press conference, but we couldn’t find which was the right building, or then (once we’d resolved that with the clock running out) how to get to the right room – nor could the Samsung executives we passed who were also desperately trying to find it.  On another occasion, I went to a press event, and there were a dozen other journalists outside the building, scratching their heads, trying literally to find the door to get in.  (There was a door, but it was only for vendors.)  That’s IFA.  It’s a pleasure, but it’s a mess.  As such, this photo below remains one of my favorite pictures I’ve taken at the show.  If you can figure out the rationality for how these buildings are ordered, you’re a better whiz than me.  It’s not numerical.  It’s not odd or even.  It’s not…well, anything that anyone I’ve ever spoken to can grasp.  The closest someone has come is to note that if you spell out the numbers in English (okay, never mind that this is in Germany), the words on the left have an even number of letters, and those on the right have an odd number of letters…

Well, it's that time of year.  I'm off today to attend the IFA tech trade show in Berlin for about a week.  I leave this afternoon, and get back soon-ish.  The elves will be watching over the homestead in their leiderhosen and have promised to have sauerbraten for dinner at least once.

IFA, in that mellifluous way of the German language, stands for Internationale Funkausstellung.  (Funk being radio, and ausstellung being an exhibition.  It began in 1931 a radio trade show.)  IFA is sort of the European equivalent of the Consumer Electronics Show.  In some ways it's better, in some not so much.  It's definitely an experience, though, somewhat a convoluted mess.  I'll write more about that later on.  The short version is that from my limited experience (this will be my fourth time at IFA, but I've confirmed my theory with others who know Germany FAR better) is that the German culture isn't nearly as efficient as the reputation.  Rather, Germans are incredibly skilled at following directions.  If the directions are good, then things will be immaculately run and organized.  But when the starting point is not well-planned, then what results will be a chaotic jumble.

I actually sense this on not only my very first IFA trip, but within minutes of getting off the bus.  (That would be the Tegel Xpress bus from the airport, that dropped me off walking distance from my hotel.)  As I was strolling along, I saw a restaurant that looked nice, and (like so many European restaurants) had the menu out front.  I stopped to look at it, and as I was reading, I could hear a person coming along the sidewalk from my left and stopping, and waiting.  As I kept reading, I could tell that the person was still there, and figured he wanted to look at the menu, too, so I finished sooner than I planned, and started to leave.  To my surprise, it turned out that this person was not waiting to read the menu, but rather -- I was in his path, and so he stopped.  And rather than just walking around me to the other part of the sidewalk, he instead waited, until I was no long "blocking" him.  As soon as I was gone, he move forward, and walked on.  It was bizarre -- and I'm sure not typical.  But it gave me the thought that a lot of people here like doing things in proper order.

There was another similar experience on that first trip.  The group that organizes my trip, ShowStoppers, has a big event there every year.  A lot of people get invited, and many of them showed up early and lined up.  And up and up and up and up -- creating an incredibly long line, one person after another, snaking out of the large waiting area, along the hall, down the escalator, and through the foyer.  All the while, the waiting area was left completely empty.  The ShowStoppers executive had the most difficult time trying to convince the Germans in line that they didn't have to stand in line, but could just mingle randomly in that large -- and empty -- waiting area.  But they couldn't seem to grasp the concept.  He kept pleading and imploring them to get out of the line, and just...stand around in the room.  Finally, after about five minutes of effort, they finally caught on and, a bit awkwardly at first, broke the line and mingled.  Order seems to be everything.  

There's much more.  The design of the fairgrounds where IFA is held, for instance, is otherworldly.  I've literally spent 10-15 minutes on occasion just trying to find the right door to enter one of the buildings.  And it wasn't just me -- I've run into others looking for a door, as well.  (It's so common that I've learned the phrase, "Wo ist der eingang?"  Where is the entrance?)

To be clear, much of what I'm seen is meticulous and beautifully organized and done.  As I said, if the original directions are good, the results will be wonderful.

Anyway, I'll still be posting  daily during the week -- about what I've come across at IFA mostly, though anything else if I have the time.  Just know that the posting schedule will be off for a while.  The time difference between Berlin and Los Angeles is nine hours.  So, when I have a break at lunch and time to finally sit down at the computer. it'll 3 AM back in L.A.  

(Though I'll try to post regularly, just know that the next post may not be for a while because of the long travel.  I'll probably be checking into my hotel room in the mid-afternoon on Tuesday, which is 7 AM tomorrow L.A. time, though I don't know if I'll be up to writing anything then, perhaps not until the next day -- which will be very early morning Wednesday in Los Angeles.  We'll see.  But, hey, who knows, it's quite possible I'll be able to write something en route.  We'll find out.  I should have plenty of waiting time at the Los Angeles Airport, so the question is if I can get a WiFi connection.  If so, maybe I'll even have something new this afternoon.  And if I can get Wi-Fi in Frankfurt early tomorrow when I land after the first leg and have a long layover, who knows?, perhaps even then.  So, keep checking back -- I will resurface soon-ish.  Wednesday at the latest)

By the way, I must toss in something here.  I like going to IFA -- as I said, it's my fourth time, and if I didn't enjoy the show so much, I wouldn't make the effort.  It's a very long trip from Los Angeles, that has no direct flight, around 15 hours or so, depending on the layover, and then dealing with the dismal Tegel airport in Berlin that's like a bus station.  But as much as I like the show...I absolutely love the morning buffet at the Grand Hyatt hotel where our group is put up.  Seriously.  It's not that it's remotely the most extensive buffet I've had -- not even close.  It's just a breakfast buffet, after all, but everything is such high quality, with such great breads and amazing cheeses that we don't get in the U.S., and herrings and meats that it's a joy (along with normal things like waffles, eggs, fresh juices and champagne.) I tend not to eat cheese much anymore, and not all that much meat either, especially for breakfast, but here -- it's near-impossible to pass up.  It's all just great.  Seriously.  I had to miss IFA last year, so I was without the buffet, as well, and I can't wait to be back for the spread.  This below doesn't do it justice, but it's a start...
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​So, that's the deal.  I'll be back on these pages soon.  Perhaps sooner than later, if the Wi-Fi gods do their part.  Auf widersehen.
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