Elisberg Industries
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Products
    • Books
    • Movies
  • About Elisberg Industries
    • Our Corporate Board
    • Information Overstock
    • Elisberg Industries Entertainment Information
    • Elisberg Statistical Center of American Research
    • Consultancy Service
  • Contact
    • How to Find Us
  • Kudos
  • Good Things to Know
    • The BOB Page
    • Sites You Might Actually Like
Decent Quality Since 1847

Here's What *He* Said, At Last

7/15/2025

0 Comments

 
About 10 days ago, I wrote a long article about my efforts to get Steve Carell's commencement address at this year's Northwestern University graduation ceremony posted on YouTube.  It wasn't there, but at least I was able to track it down -- buried in the full graduation video that was buried on the Northwestern website.

Well, we have a Breaking News Update:

It took WEEKS – and I like to think my repeated noodging of several Northwestern officials may have had something to do with it, but…
 
Northwestern has finally posted Steve Carell’s commencement address on YouTube!!  O huzzah!
 
Now, yes, I know it could be pure coincidence, and something they were planning to do anyway.  But – a) when I wrote all these people several times, no one ever said “We plan to post it on YouTube.  Please leave us alone.”  All I got was telling me where it was buried, and b) it took almost a month to post it, which could have been done in one day.
 
So, I’m going with my noodging assertation, and will stand by it until contradicted by school officials.  Which I think is unlikely to happen, so I’m on very safe ground.
 
If you chose not to check out the commencement address when I first sent the convoluted link, because it was too much a bother, but you wanted to see the speech -- which is a light-hearted, but a lot of fun and very funny -- the DIRECT link is...here!  Just scroll down to the bottom of the page.

​Victoire!
0 Comments

The Watermelon Trilogy

7/11/2025

0 Comments

 
​'Tis the season -- for watermelon, that is.  And because I love watermelon, we're going to have an extravaganza of three videos on cutting the suckers.  I posted this originally in 2023, so it's time to bring it back.

(None of these are exactly the way I cut them, since I tend to buy the smaller, round, seedless "personal" watermelons.  But the last two videos are pretty close.)

First though, we'll start with one of the those "50 People Try to..." videos from Epicurious.com.  Not shockingly, what these people are flailingly trying to do is cut a watermelon.  The fun of the video aside, this is the best instruction at the end for how to cut a watermelon in wedges.

​This next video is short, only about a minute, and comes from The Racheal Ray Show.  It's close to how I've been cutting my watermelons, though with a couple of slight differences. 

The first is that they're using a bigger watermelon that I use, but it's still basically round, like mine.  The other is that her Senior Culinary Producer is showing how to cut spears, and I like cubes.  So, I just easily slice the rinds off the ends and then easily cut the spears in to cubes.
​Finally, this third video is a new way I've learned, and definitely weird on the surface, but I've been trying lately with reasonable success.  I'm not sure if it's faster or better than my "lattice" version above, but it may be, and it's fun.  It comes from Alton Brown from Food Network.  This is for a regular watermelon, but works just as well with one of my round fellows.  And it uses...a cheese slicer!  (Hey, I told you it was weird.) 

However, after the video, I have an update about this from when I first wrote about it.

After making a wheel, I then turn it into cubes by making cross-lattice cuts.  I haven't mastered a smooth move with the cheese slicer, but I'm getting better.  And if I leave too much watermelon on the rind -- that's fine, I just snack on it while continuing with the cutting.

My update is that, although I like this method because it's sort of fun (and works), my skillset isn't at the level of Alton Brown, and I haven't yet mastered the ability to get nice, smooth edges.  And what I discovered as a workaround is that I could still use this basic method but instead just use a basic paring knife.  It's perhaps a touch slower (and not as fun), but worked really well.

That said, if you want to try the last method and use a cheese slicer, but don't have one, this is the model I got here from Amazon.  It's currently being sold for $10, which is 55% off its regular price -- and even down $2 from what I wrote about this last time.  It has 4.3 stars out of 5, and I like it because the screws on the side make it easy to remove the guide bar (which is necessary to take off, in order to use for slicing off the watermelon rinds.)
Picture
0 Comments

Anti-Social

7/11/2025

0 Comments

 
 The other day, I (like many tens of millions of other people) received this email below from the Social Security Administration tonight.  It glowingly praised the “benefits” to recipients from the new budget bill.
Picture
Picture

I was surprised that I was able to get through the whole thing, although with a clenched jaw.  It was just galling to read.  But I stuck with it to the end, because I wanted to make sure I was reading it correctly.

I immediately went to the Social Security website, found the form to contact them and, after my typing fingers uncurled enough, wrote a response.  (By the way, for those who don't spend any time on social media, the very last line in my note is how Trump is now ending many of his own tweets.) 

​This is what I sent --


This evening, I received an email from Social Security, telling what a great benefit there was to recipients as a result of the new budget bill.
 
Please don’t send me garbage email like this.  As you know, this “relief” is very temporary -- and further, decreases for some people. And then goes away in three years.
 
More to the point, I don’t care about how the bill affects *me* – it is a disaster for 17 million people who will lose Medicaid healthcare, and a disaster for the country.
 
If you want to suck up to Trump and praise his "efforts," please do it on your own time, and don’t bother me with it.
 
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
 ​

There was a lot more that I wanted to say, but I knew I was writing in response to a bulk email that would get read by a low-level employee who had absolutely nothing to do with sending the original email, and likely wouldn't forward it anywhere.  So even I have my limits and know when to occasionally keep it short.  And also, even though I was writing on the SSA contact form and not replying to a generic bulk email, I didn't expect a response.  And in some ways, I didn't precisely get one.  However, the Social Security Administration actually did write back.  If you can call it that.  This was their in-depth, thoughtful reply --

"Thank you for contacting the Social Security Administration.

"We apologize for the delay in answering your inquiry. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused."

Honestly, I'm glad that they didn't write any more than this.  If they had, then -- me being me -- I probably would have written back.  And then they'd have sent another auto-reply.  And...

0 Comments

Let the Speech Commence

7/3/2025

0 Comments

 
Yesterday, I mentioned that Steve Carell gave the commencement address at the beloved Northwestern University.  When posting the interview that he did with Northwestern president Michael Schill beforehand, I noted that it had taken me a while to post that address, which I now do below.
 
The address was a joy and got a lot of national press attention – in part because it was very smart and entertaining, and in part because of an unexpected “tweak” he provided as part of his speech.  But for as much attention at the speech got, with short clips posted on YouTube, for some inexplicable reason, the full speech wasn’t posted.  There were a few videos of it posted by people in attendance, but the audio was tinny and hard to hear, and the video generally just an image of the jumbo screen at the United Center in Chicago.  It wasn’t what I wanted to post, so I kept looking.
Picture
 
This was especially odd because colleges post their commencement addresses on YouTube all the time.  In fact, Northwestern has, as well, for years – having posted those by Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Gov. Pritzker (whose theme, as it happens, remarkably was “Life Lessons from The Office”!!), Sen. Barack Obama in 2006, Mayor Daley in 2008, and even John McCain in 2005 can be found.  But not Steve Carell’s.  (Further, a wonderful speech from this year’s graduation, given by undergrad philosophy major Clary Doyle is posted on  YouTube – and she even wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post about it…which embedded the YouTube video!.  I’ll likely post it next week)  But – not Steve Carell’s speech.

Picture
Carell and Gov. JB Pritzer in 2023,
after the governor's speech

This omission was even more odd given the speaker, the focus of the speech, and Northwestern being one of the leading universities in theater, communication and journalism.  I’m certain, considering the national attention the speech got, that a great many people searched YouTube to find the whole speech (alums, prospective students, prospective theater students, and the general public), only to come up empty-handed.  It’s such a great opportunity to easily promote Northwestern, and in an accessible way.  All the more so at a time to offset attention from when the school has been egregiously attacked by the Trump administration, having $790 million in research funding frozen.
 
But no Carell speech.
 
Finally, I wrote to the school, asking if it was available anywhere – not just on YouTube, but even on the Northwestern website – and made all these points above.  I heard back, and it turns out that the speech is, happily, on the Northwestern site.  But – it’s buried so deeply,  which is why I was unable to find it.  It was on a page under Graduation and then under Families and Guests.  And even at that, the speech itself wasn’t posted, but the entire two-hour graduation ceremony – which is why I couldn’t find it was a search.
 
This remains inexplicable.  Almost no one will find it here…rather than editing the speech out of the full ceremony and posting it on YouTube.  After all, that’s where far-more people can find it much easier -- but also that link on the NU site is for the full commencement rather than just the Carell speech alone (which ultimately is the attention-getting “headliner” of the event), and also YouTube videos are so easy for people to repost, embed in articles, and spread positive attention about Northwestern. 
But…well, maybe at some point they’ll post the speech alone on YouTube.  At least for now, it’s available somewhere.  In the middle of the full event.
 
And it’s a very entertaining speech, charming and thoughtful, and often extremely funny.  Carell himself didn’t go to Northwestern, though as I noted yesterday, his daughter graduated in 2023 (so the actor was there in attendance when Gov. Pritzker gave his Office-themed speech), his son is a student at the school now, and Carell himself actually went to Northwestern’s summer “Cherub program” for high school students – and started his career in Chicago at the Second City theater.
 
I’ve had  two occasions to cross paths with Steve Carell.
 
The first time was in 2000 at the Democratic Convention in Los Angeles.  I was covering it for an article I was doing for the Writers Guild.  And he was there for his work as a “correspondent” on The Daily Show.  We ran into each other on the street outside the convention center, and he was extremely personable, giving me some advice on how to best get around the event.
 
The other time was when friends were directing and producing the movie, Get Smart.  I visited the set one day, and when sitting around with my friends waiting for a lengthy set-up, Carell came by.  And for about 20 minutes, we all had a very enjoyable conversation.  One thing I fondly remembered.  I don’t recall exactly how the topic came up, but it was on when actors complain about not getting all the perqs they wanted.  Carell acknowledged that his perspective was different from most because he came to his success much later in his career than many.  But in a quiet voice – and remember, this wasn’t for the press, there were no news cameras around – he said, “I get a nice trailer, I get meals, I’m treated well.  And anyone who complains about that…” and he paused for just a very brief moment, “…is an asshole!!”

Anyway, here's the commencem...

We interrupt this article for this Breaking News.

UPDATE:  When I initially posted this tale, this is the point where I directed you to the Northwestern website and where the speech is buried, and at what time in the speech you should jump to to see Carell's speech.  But --

It took almost a month (and I like to think perhaps all my noodging emails to three different school officials), but...Steve Carell's commencement address was finally posted on YouTube!  O huzzah!  So, you don't have to go anywhere, but just click on the video below.

And yes, here is what he says.

0 Comments

“Aprés Moi, Le Déluge”

7/1/2025

0 Comments

 
Yesterday, I was at the grocery store.  And  yes, this has to do with politics.  I’ll get to that in a moment, but first some background.  While I know most people know all this, the specifics of it are important to the tale.
 
Trump and MAGOP officials keep trying to insist that, no, they are not touching Medicaid, they’re just changing requirements for people qualifying for it.  (Fun Fact: Yes, this is changing Medicaid.  No, it’s not changing what’s covered, but it’s changing the program as written.  That’s not a hard concept to get.  Though clearly an easy concept to flim-flam.)  As a result of these changing requirements, experts estimate that between 12-16 million people will lose at least some of their Medicaid coverage.
 
The changes are basically bureaucratic red tape.  Which, as we all know, always goes really well, especially with the government.  In theory, it’s to make sure that non-citizens can’t get coverage and also so that people work in order to be covered, unless they meet certain conditions that make work not possible.
 
For starters, non-citizens are not eligible for Medicaid, so that’s a non-issue.  Further, about two-thirds of people on Medicaid are already working.  And the rest either have to stay home to take care of someone, underage, or unable to work.  So, that’s a non-issue, too.  But clearly an easy concept to flim-flam.
 
So, again, this is basically about creating bureaucratic red tape.  And what kind of red tape paperwork will be required?  It’s largely filling out a lot of forms online, and also regularly uploading documentation of current work, and uploading computer files of work history.  That sort of thing.  Whatever else the government decides is necessary to qualify for whatever you already qualify for.  Pretty much a government convoluted mess.
 
Which brings us to me going to the grocery store yesterday.
 
I got in a checkout line with one person ahead of me, someone in the midst of paying their tab at the credit card device.  She had clearly been having a bit of trouble, since the cashier had to jump in and explain what to do.  The suggestions weren’t having any impact, though, so eventually the cashier left her station to provide some personal assistance – pointing out what the woman should do, what to punch in and where the card should go. 
 
The cashier returned to her spot…but the card was still giving back error messages.  At this point, those of us in line had been waiting about five minutes, perhaps longer for the person ahead of me.  To her credit, the lady trying to pay looked over embarrassed and apologized, which is all your can really ask for, so it was appreciated, and we said “No problem.”  It was fine, we weren’t in a rush, though it was getting a bit tiresome.
 
The cashier kept giving advice, it didn’t work, they got someone else from the store to help, it was no good, the woman kept trying, and…finally, she got the card to be accepted, and all was well!  O huzzah.
 
Which brings me to the point.
 
If this is the problem some people can have trying to use their credit card to pay their grocery bill (and I am absolutely certain that this wasn’t the only person who has problems doing this – not all may have this much difficulty, but they still surely have hiccups – what end of the card do you slide it, where do you tap the card, is your card expired, making a mistake taping in the PIN, forgetting the PIN, having an expired card -- and some, many may well have this much of a problem –
 
-- can you imagine the problem some people, many people, not improbably most people might have trying to provide the required red tape information the government requires for Medicaid??!!!  Filling out forms online, uploading documentation of current work, uploading computer files of work history.  And whatever else the government needs.
 
And then getting some government work to help you.  After budgets and staffs have been cut.
 
This, by the way, is one of the reasons experts say that they expect millions of people will lose their Medicaid coverage.  Not because they don’t qualify, but because they can’t figure out and get around the red tape.  And just give up.
 
(John Oliver touched on this a bit last night, which I posted here.)

As I watched the woman yesterday understandably having trouble for at least five minutes merely trying to paying for her groceries just using her credit card, something so basic that she'd no doubt done hundreds of times, but hit a hiccup, which so many people -- if not all -- have  had happen, all I could think was...oh, my god, MAGOPs in Congress have absolutely no idea they hell they will unleash upon themselves forcing people to go through government computer bureaucracy in order to qualify for healthcare.

I know a lot of people who won't be able to come close to handling it.  I'm sure we all know people who won't.  I'm sure people who are adept with computers, technology and the online world who will still have problems tracking down information, following government instructions which may not be perfectly clear, and just typing something wrong by mistake.  And even if it all goes perfectly, hoping the system won't crash or have a problem.  Which, of course, never happens with computers or online services, or the government.

It was a simple, basic credit card device.​

But no, this is what Trump and MAGOPs want.  This is the bureaucratic paperwork red tape they are voting on to become law.

Be careful what you wish for, your might get it.

The flood.
0 Comments

Another Fine Work of Bart

6/26/2025

0 Comments

 
Every once in a while I like to admittedly trigger my friend Bart Baker, who I consider the poet laureate of Josh Hawley.  Bart is a WGA-nominated writer and accomplished novelist whose BartRants (tm) are Shakespearean, akin to King Lear raging in the storm.  Bart lives in Missouri, and so is very well-versed about Hawley and the mere mention of the senators name will often get Bart to spit out a sentence or two in fury.  But when there's an actual story about Josh Hawley that focuses on something awful he's done (which occurs far more than ideal), I feel I can post in on social media and flag Bart to it -- knowing that, without my doing anything more, I'll get the day's entertainment.  And a column for the next day.  And to be clear, it's not just that Bart writes in such a vibrant, entertaining way, but his reaction and insights are also very smart and spot-on.

And so yesterday, I offered these first-three paragraphs from a RawStory article.  And then sat back and waited.  The story began --
​
​"After months of leading the charge against Medicaid cuts in the GOP’s reconciliation bill, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) now appears to have suddenly changed his tune.

"Once the Senate’s most vocal opponent of any Medicaid reductions, Hawley now says he’d 'be fine' with most of the proposed cuts, as long as one key provision gets fixed, according to a new report in NOTUS.
​

'They’ve got to fix this hospital piece of it,' Hawley told the publication Tuesday. 'And if they do that, then I think that’d be fine.'”

After posting that, I turned back to my other work and then went to lunch.  And when I came back to the desk, I thought I'd check in to Facebook to see if anything had come to Bart's attention, and if he'd responded.

And it did and, of course, it had.  

And the wonderful thing about a good BartRant (tm) is that he writes with such verve that it's the literary equivalent of writing without stopping to take a breath.  He wrote --

"​What a shock - said no one who knows Hawley. Peter Thiel probably cried "I need a bigger boat!" and that Senator with a spine of bacon grease responded, "Yes sir! Need it waxed on Sundays, sir?' Hawley is the worst sort of politician which also makes him the worst sort of human being. He lies for points. He wants a $15 minimum wage. Because it has no chance of passing the senate. If it did he would reverse course faster than a cartoon roadrunner (his resemblance to that drawing is uncanny…). Medicaid cuts? He’s railing in the Senate - and more importantly, for the cameras - how he’s against it until… oh look, surprise, surprise, Gomer didn’t just want provisions changed he did a donut in the high school parking lot until he was driving off in the opposite direction. Because he can’t disappoint the people who really put him in office - billionaires. Want to know why his face is so thin, easier to get it up some very rich donor’s ass. But take comfort, when you’re poor and dying from lack of medical care - he’s fighting for hospice to send you on swiftly so you’re no longer a burden to society."
​


​And there it is! From Maestro Bart Baker. With another of his patented BartRants (tm). Shakespearean, operatic, virtuosic. All I have to do is type on social media, "Hey, Bart, did you see the latest from Josh Hawley?" And I know I can then finish up my other work because Bart -- God bless him -- will have my column for the next day!

Brilliant, superb and spot-on.

And to be fair, since Bart did write my column today, I feel an obligation to return the favor, at least as best I can.  So, here's the trailer for his screenplay for the Lifetime movie, Forever, with Taye Diggs and Meagan Good, for which he got a Writers Guild Award nomination last year.

And yes, it's true, this gentle, heartfelt drama was written by the same legendary creator of BartRants (tm)
​

Picture
0 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture
    Picture
    Elisberg Industries gets a commission if you click here before shopping on Amazon.
    Picture
    Follow @relisberg

    Author

    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.

    Picture
           Available on Amazon

    Picture
           Available on Amazon

    Picture
           Feedspot Badge of Honor

    Archives

    June 2025
    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    Animals
    Audio
    Audio Land
    Books
    Business
    Chicago
    Consumer Product
    Education
    Email Interview
    Entertainment
    Environment
    Fine Art
    Food
    From The Management
    Health
    History
    Huffery
    Humor
    International
    Internet
    Journalism
    Law
    Los Angeles
    Media
    Morning News Round Up
    Movies
    Music
    Musical
    Personal
    Photograph
    Piano Puzzler
    Politics
    Popular Culture
    Profiles
    Quote Of The Day
    Radio
    Religion
    Restaurants
    Science
    Sports
    Technology
    Tech Tip
    Theater
    The Writers Workbench
    Tidbits
    Travel
    Tv
    Twitter
    Video
    Videology
    Well Worth Reading
    Words-o-wisdom
    Writing

    RSS Feed

© Copyright Robert J. Elisberg 2025
Contact Us    About EI    Chicago Cubs
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Products
    • Books
    • Movies
  • About Elisberg Industries
    • Our Corporate Board
    • Information Overstock
    • Elisberg Industries Entertainment Information
    • Elisberg Statistical Center of American Research
    • Consultancy Service
  • Contact
    • How to Find Us
  • Kudos
  • Good Things to Know
    • The BOB Page
    • Sites You Might Actually Like