Okay, well this is a bit awkward, bordering on embarrassing.
Yesterday, the management made a whole bit to-do over this website having its first day ever with over 2,000 "unique visitors," to the extent that the Board of Directors voted almost unanimously to offer a proclamation of thanks.
Well...it turns out that the very day -- hmmm, let me put it this way.
Yes, it's true, on Saturday Elisberg Industries passed 3,000 visitors in a single. My guess is that they weren't just "unique", but many of them were probably lost.
You might not think that this is a problem, but you must understand that we went to moderate expense to get a lot of "2,000" paraphernalia to decorate the hallways and even ordered mugs and t-shirts with a "2,000" logo to sell online and in the company commissary, which is open to the public. And now -- well, that's a big waste, isn't it? All I can say is look for some really good deals on eBay.
The thing is, our in-house IT department suspects this surge is likely due to the aforementioned, new Apple commercial that uses the song "Chicken Fat," and people are searching for what that odd piece of music is and found the article our crack and prescient researchers did a full year ago on it. Many of those people appear to be wandering the halls aimlessly, so perhaps they'll stick around -- and welcome to you all, regardless. But several staff members are doing their best to be patient as heads stick in their office and ask, "Where's the way to the chickens?"
To be clear, it's all very nice, and we certainly appreciate anyone coming by, whether or not they stay (and we hope they do), but it still doesn't help with all the leftover "2,000" artwork we just put up on the walls.
Igor Gsaliva, accounts receivable, turned in the final total. It worked out to 3,025. Woo-freaking-hoo...
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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