The Worst Defense of Your Actions, Ever

I'm always wary of those online headlines that proclaim that something is The Best or The Worst of something "EVER!!"  But being wary of something doesn't mean that on occasion it isn't valid.  Or that some other event else will come along one day that's better, or worse.  I think today's here first.  I think, too, that you will agree.

For a long while, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been accused of using cocaine, a charge he has refused to acknowledge.  When police last week uncovered a tape they said showed the cocaine use, Mr. Ford refused comment.  On Tuesday, however, the major finally acknowledged the facts.

"Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine," he said to reporters outside his office.

That's bad, of course.  But it's the explanation he gave to defend his actions that are perhaps the most bizarre thing of all.  You see, he was so mind-numbingly drunk he's apparently not responsible for his actions.

"There have been times when I've been in a drunken stupor. That's why I want to see the tape. I want everyone in the city to see this tape. I don't even recall there being a tape or video. I want to see the state that I was in."

Well, yeah, that would excuse it.  Let everyone see the so out-of-control intoxicated state he was in that he doesn't even remember what was going on.

But don't worry, it gets worse.

"Am I an addict?" he commented to the reporters.  "No. Have I tried it, probably in one of my drunken stupors a year ago."

One of his drunken stupors?!  One of them??  It's like a bad comedy sketch.

And one that gets worse.

Last week, Toronto Police Chief said he was "disappointed" in the mayor after his officers had tracked down the tape of the mayor's cocaine footage.  Yesterday, the mayor's brother, Doug, said he should resign.

No, not that the mayor should resign.  The police chief!   Seriously.  Doug Ford felt the police chief's comments -- that he was "disappointed" in his city's mayor doing cocaine on a drunken binge -- were "inappropriate" and "biased."  (More inappropriate, apparently, than the mayor using cocaine, while on a blind-drunk binge.)  The brother -- and yes, it gets worse still -- wasn't just speaking as a dear family member.  He is a city councilor!  He added, that "The police chief believes he's the judge, the jury and the executioner."

Apparently, judges, juries and executioners have different responsibilities in Canada than the U.S.  And most of the free world.  There, being "disappointed" doesn't immediately result in a death sentence.

O Canada, indeed.