The Trump North Korean Road Trip
Over the weekend, while bizarrely praising North Korea real estate, Trump said the land in North Korea was so valuable because, in order to get to South Korea, you either "essentially had to fly" to get there or else had to travel through North Korea another way, like take railroads or drive, opening up the entire country to you..
For the record, it is an 800-mile drive from Beijing, China to Seoul, South Korea. So, if you're a tourist or on business and wanted to get to the South Korean capital...OF COURSE people fly!!!
Renting a car in China and driving through the countryside and then the entirety of North Korea -- praying every moment you don't have a breakdown (a car breakdown, I mean, although the other kind seems almost as possible) or get a ticket or struggle to read the road signs and directions in Korean -- seems overwhelmingly unlikely. Perhaps Trump thinks that the North Korean version of the AAA is called the Korean Kar Korporation, and he liked the KKK initials so much that, to him, it seemed a natural.
By the way, there's another way to get to South Korea other than driving through North Korea or flying from China. It's tricky, but if you look at a map you can probably finesse it. And that's to...well, "essentially" fly there from Japan, over over the Sea of Japan. Or take a long boat trip from Japan to South Korea. True, we know at this point that Trump sees himself as the Chosen One, but other mortals can't walk on water. so one of these two methods or transportation are necessary. Fun Fact: both ways of getting to South Korea directly from Japan miss flying over or riding through any part of North Korea entirely.
OF COURSE PEOPLE WILL FLY TO GET TO SOUTH KOREA. Essentially.
Okay, clearly, he wants to build a Trump Tower in North Korea. And while that idea is bad enough coming from most anyone but especially from the U.S. president and even-more so coming from him at the podium at the G7 Summit, his reasoning to convince people that this is a great idea is almost loopier.
He thinks people are going to rent a car or take a 12-hour train trip through the entirely of North Korea??! Rather than just fly to South Korea from Beijng or...Japan?!!
And by the way, lost in all of this is that Trump's whole point of why North Korean real estate is so valuable is the argument that -- you have to go through it to get somewhere else that's better!!! He's not saying that North Korea is so great, he's saying it's so awful that when you're there you can't wait to get past it until you reach its neighbor which is your actual destination.
And just one more notable Fun Fact: other than North Koreans, only the Chinese and Russians are authorized to drive through North Korea.
Oh, just freaking sigh.
And none of this even touches on all the maniacally stupid things Trump did on Monday. But that's for perhaps tomorrow -- unless something even worse or more idiotic occurs. Which we know is very possible.
8/27/2019 06:29:11 pm
Can we convince him that he can walk on water and.that he should try it in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?
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Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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