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Decent Quality Since 1847

The Lost Email

10/12/2016

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Among the various hacked emails from WikiLeaks, one that hasn't come to attention is the only-known email from an account other than a Democrat.  It was a single email from Donald Trump, and as soon as Russian hackers realized what they'd done by mistake, they stopped.

The email was one sent by Trump to his two campaign managers, with a proposed press release he wanted to put out specifically today.  That's because it's Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.  The note was a more-detailed statement of apology for the recently-released tape than the six words he'd previously made, and he wanted to get their opinion on it.  When word of the proposed statement spread, the Trump campaign was asked when the press could expect to receive it, concerned about deadlines.  But they were told that the remarks were only a general work-in-progress, merely something being considered, and that ultimately it was decided to be unnecessary, that the candidate's initial midnight taped-comment spoke for itself and sufficed. However, now the email has become public, as a result of WikiLeaks.

Since it has been confirmed that many of the WikiLeak hacks were forged, there is no guarantee of the authenticity of the email.


DATE:  October 4, 2016
FROM: Donald J. Trump
TO:  Kellyanne Conway; Steve Bannon
SUBJECT: Great thoughts

People, this is the draft of that release I told you about.  What I need from you is to let me know if you think it's best to release it in the morning or afternoon of Yon Kipper or however it's spelled (you can have someone check), but if the latter then it has to be before "sundown," which they say is important for the timing.  So, let me know.  Here it is -

                                                                               *  *  *

I'm terribly sorry about the truly awful things I said on that Access Hollywood tape.  I know I apologized before, but I only used the word, "apology."  I really never said why I was wrong, and why I apologized.  I never even said I was sorry.  And so, I've realized that it wasn't really an apology, but just empty words.  So, I should try again.

It was wrong because not just me, but nobody should treat women that way, to act like they don't matter and just go ahead and think you can do anything to them without their consent.  With their consent, that's another matter and pretty good.  But you have to ask first.  If you don't, that is abusive.  That is assault.  And grabbing the most private parts of their bodes is sexual assault.  I love women, no one cherishes women more than me, even if I may have treated a lot of them really badly in the past.  But I do like having women around and would like them to think that I respect them, because I do.  My mother was a woman. My daughters are women.  And women are simply great.  Which is why my actions have been so wrong.  And why my words you heard were so wrong.  This wasn't "locker room" talk.  I've been in a lot of locker rooms, many locker rooms, and I've never heard men talk that way, you can believe me.  But this is the more important thing -- when I said all those things, I wasn't in a locker room.  I was at work.  This was workplace abuse, and that is wrong. Very wrong.

And I apologize not only because of what I said on that tape, but because I have taken unfair advantage of women throughout my life, many women.  Believe me, folks.  And so I've hurt them personally, and emotionally.  And that's what requires an apology.  An apology to those women I specifically hurt, and to all women who feel demeaned simply by what they heard.  But I apologize to them even more than that, because this wasn't the first time or only time I talked like that.  I've done it all my life.  I still did it yesterday.  What I say when there hasn't been a microphone around to catch me has been really, really bad -- very bad, and I apologize for that. I also apologize to cat lovers because you know why, I don't have to say that word again.  And to dog lovers, too, because that other word I used can be misconstrued.  I was not talking about female dogs, and I'm sorry.  And I apologize to the Tic Tac company which makes a fine product.

And here's the thing, and I know this is true, because I'm very smart -- and rich.  I'm very rich, believe me.  But because I'm smart, I know that just saying you're wrong and apologizing isn't enough.  You've got to show remorse and that you're working to make yourself better.

I feel great remorse.  I feel more remorse than anyone in the world.  The most and the best remorse.  I'm embarrassed for myself, but I'm also embarrassed for the people around me, and they've been defending me about this tape, and I'm embarrassed that I've put them in that position.  And I'm most embarrassed for dumping all this on my family.who know that their father isn't as perfect as they always thought.  I'm still pretty great, folks, and rich, I'm very rich, but I now have a goal to get better and actually become that perfect person I've always just about been.

And that's what I plan to do.  I'm going to work very hard to not demean women any more, because women are a national treasure.  I plan to speak with my minister for counsel because he's a good person, many people say so, he's the best minister, and I want him to show me how to treat women well, even if he probably doesn't have all that much experience with them for all I know.  And I'll be going to a therapist once a week.  It's for my lower back, which I sometimes throw out, but the person I use is a very beautiful woman, gorgeous, and very smart, and wise, so she can give me good advice about her friends who probably are hot.

So, all those reasons are why I say again that I was wrong, I apologize, I feel remorse, and I will make myself a better person, the best person.

And while I'm at it, I apologize to Megyn Kelley, Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Rosy O'Donnell, Barack Obama, Elizabeth Warren, Mike Pence though he has some of his own apologizing to do, Kkizr Khan, Ghazzala Khan, all Gold Star families, all Purple Heart winners, all American generals, Ivana Trump, Marla Maples, people who signed up for Trump University and paid good money, reporter Serge Kovaleski, all disabled people, Katy Tur, the American press, the Central Park Five, Heidi Klum who still is a 10, the people of Mexico, Muslims all over the world, Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Judge Gonzalo Curiel, immigrants, NATO, the American military, Charley Denton because of that thing back in 1974, workers for my business who I stiffed, anyone who bought Trump Steaks, the American taxpayers, Alicia Machado, Iraq War veterans because I really did support the war, all veterans, the American public, the Founding Fathers, the Skittles company on behalf of my son who'll be writing you his own letter but I feel responsible because I raised him, or at least my wives and nannys did, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, the Clinton Family Foundation, and perhaps most of all Hillary Clinton, who is not only not crooked but one of the most admirable people I know.

I hope you all accept my apology, and come for a lovely stay at my new Trump Galaxy hotel near Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada, which is gorgeous, one of the most gorgeous hotels in the world many people have told me, many, and I've read wonderful things said about, it's really beautiful, and you should see it for yourself.  It's great.  And it should be, because I made it.

Thank you.  And please forgive Rudy Giuliani.  And means well.
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    Author

    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.



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