It’s almost like an article from the satirical publication “The Onion,” when the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are children. Because, they say, “unborn children are children.” But no, the ruling was real. For the record, this is what they are talking about – These nitrogen tanks hold tens of thousands of frozen embryos who...sorry, I mean tens of thousands of children who…again, sorry, no, what I mean is tens of thousands of frozen children who apparently, according to Alabama, are now in pre-school. And having a playdate. According to the Great State of Alabama, these embr…frozen children have rights just like the rest of us who can breathe, talk, listen, blink, jog, swim, spell, count, pray, twiddle our thumbs, enjoy a good Taylor Swift song, have an actual name, laugh, cry, and eventually even have a gender one day – and so much more. Okay, maybe they can’t do all that right now, since they are frozen, but there are many things that a lot of children can’t do “right now,” but that doesn’t mean they don’t have rights, too. Now that Alabama – the Great State of Alabama – has declared frozen embryos to be children, then they can’t stop there because Children are Our Future and deserve our full protections, and so Alabama has to go all the way with this official ruling. Which brings up a lot of questions that must be answered. For starters, since all these many thousands of frozen embryos in Alabama are children, has the state's population now skyrocketed? Must they be counted in the next census? I’d certainly thing so, otherwise that’s discrimination. After all, in its ruling the Alabama Supreme Court said its protections “applies to all children, born and unborn, without limitation.” Without limitation covers a pretty wide swath. Also, if these unborn children are provided the same protections as all actually-born children, shouldn’t being frozen be considered child endangerment? It might be keeping them alive, but at what cruel and unusual cost? If the argument is that they can feel the pain of abortion, then the pain being frozen must be pretty basic. Since these are children, can parents declare them as dependents for tax write-offs? If not, why not? If the parents of frozen children gets divorced, do all the frozen children count towards child support? If not, why not? If the frozen children embryos are discarded, can someone be charged with murder? That seems to be at the heart the case in the first place. If so, what name of the victim does law enforcement put down on the arrest form? If half a dozen – or more – frozen embryo children are discarded, would that qualify as mass murder? Would the death penalty apply. But if not discarded and instead left frozen and no longer needed, as is often the case when parents have been able to conceive and have a born child, can the parents be sued for abandonment? Paying to keep a child frozen in a tank without ever even visiting seems far beneath the standard of nurturing parental care we’ve come to expect. (Though, in fairness, I don’t know if that’s the case in Alabama.) If you keep your frozen child to avoid prosecution, and 18 years pass, is the frozen embryo child now considered an adult? Can they vote? Can they apply for a drivers license? Why not? (And “Well, that would be stupid” doesn’t count as an answer. After all, they have the same protections that apply to all children, born and unborn. Without limitation.) For all those on far-right who have been asking about transgender rights, "How do you define a woman," is this how you define children? And furthermore, I don’t think the question to be asked of Republican politicians should anymore just be “What is your position on abortion?” Because “No” or “Yes, but only up to six weeks” or even “16 weeks” or “No, but with exceptions” isn’t good enough anymore. Now, Republican politicians must be asked, “Do you think a frozen embryo is a child? With the same rights and protections as a born child? Without limitations.” Maybe they do. And if so, fair enough, that’s their right. (Without limitations.) But then, they have to be asked all these questions about. And others. Because Once you declare frozen embryos to be children, then you can’t stop there because Children are Our Future and deserve our full protections, and so anyone defending this ruling has to go all the way defending it.
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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