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The other day, I had a meeting with the funeral director to go over some of the obviously-necessary plans for my dad's passing. It actually went well, and the fellow was reasonably personable. All things considered. But throughout the meeting as he laid out all the various issues, I couldn't help think of this utterly-wonderful and classic sketch by the great Mike Nichols and Elaine May. In fact, I even told the funeral director about it, and later sent him a link. This version came from an appearance on The Jack Paar Show and, unfortunately, appears to be part of a larger TV special, hosted by Steve Allen, whose voice cuts in at the end, so the conclusion of the sketch isn't heard. As best I recall, in the full version, the Nichols character finally breaks and calls out that he doesn't want the option, that he has no more money. And May's funeral director pauses, shrugs, and replies, "Well...it's your funeral.". Here 'tis --
5 Comments
Douglass Abramson
5/16/2016 10:17:27 pm
This sketch always reminds me of when my grandmother (my dad's step-mother) passed away. She had pre-planned and pre-payed for everything. Dad and I went to confirm her arrangements and add a couple of items that my mother insisted on. My Uncle John came along, even though he didn't do anything in the meeting with the mortuary's staffer. After we were done, the staffer insisted on taking us up to the mausoleum in the limo. She wouldn't take no for an answer, so we went along. Once in the car, she started going on about how fortunate we were that Grandma had bought the niche she had and how much demand there was for the sold out chappel it was in. Dad and I looked at each other with a "Can you believe this woman" expression on our faces. Suddenly, Uncle John pipes up: "Hell, maybe we should take Pop out and sell it." Knowing that he would never do anything against Grandma's wishes, Dad and I almost doubled over with laughter. I don't think that I've ever seen a look of horror as complete as the one on the mortuary rep's face. She probably still wonders what kind of heartless bastards we were, but I know that that moment helped Dad and I get through the process of the funeral and wrapping up her affairs. Find the levity where you can and embrace it.
Robert Elisberg
5/16/2016 10:36:24 pm
That's a hilarious story. Thanks. I can only imagine the reaction at the time...
Douglass Abramson
5/16/2016 10:42:15 pm
You're welcome. Anytime.
Greg VB
4/21/2022 01:18:28 pm
Douglass' episode closely parallels my own with my aunt, who was with me as we were discussing my father's arrangements (also already pre-arranged). As we sat together, the gentleman from the home came in — completely pallid with a plastered-on smile that you would expect from one who has to reflect eternal happiness, and a voice that could be described as Forest Lawn Placid. As he exited the room briefly, my aunt and I doubled over with laughter. To this day, I don't know how we held it together until he left (I can't say whether we didn't have our own eye-widening or stifled smirks).
Robert Elisberg
4/21/2022 01:50:00 pm
Dr. Buzz, thanks for the tale -- and for what it's worth, I get the sense you you very often have stifled smirks... Leave a Reply. |
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.    
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