"They're coming after your doughnuts!" Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) called out in a speech to a meeting of conservatives in Charleston, South Carolina, warning them about the war he claimed the FDA was raging against doughnuts. (In fact, many, if not most major doughnut chains don't even use trans fat, which is a significant cause of heart disease. Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' Donuts, for two, have long-since dropped the manufactured substance.)
But facts aside, it's nice to known that Dr. Paul is more concerned with a fake war on doughnuts that he is about his own Republican Party's war on women. And war on poor people. And war on the middle class.
It's nice to know where his priorities are.
Mind you, as long as Sen. Paul is going to speak out in favor of trans fat, more than ever you wished he would support low cost health care, if not for all Americans then at the very least for his supporters stuffing their faces with doughnuts. And seeking out as much trans fat as possible.
By the way, Rand Paul's latest crusade may have come about because of a recent article in the libertarian magazine, Reason, which had the eye-catching title, "Start Hoarding Doughnuts." Forgetting for a moment the concept of going out of your way specifically to hoard trans fat, have you ever eaten two-day old doughnuts? Now imagine a pantry full of hoarded ones two weeks old. Hey, maybe you can just freeze them. I'm sure frozen doughnuts are quite delicious when defrosted.
(Disclaimer: I'm not certain if "They're coming after your doughnuts!" are, in fact, Rand Paul's own words, or if had borrowed them without attribution from the magazine.)
Yes, I suspect the article's headline was meant metaphorically. Though the clarion call on behalf of trans fat is real. And in the end, when it comes to doughnuts, you never can be too sure where the nuts are being strewn.
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Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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