"Global warming my gluteus maximus"
-- Sarah Palin, former half-term governor (R-AK), on it snowing in Alaska in May
First of all -- good timing, former half-term governor. I'm sure that the people in Oklahoma would just love to chime in with their opinion. If only they had electricity. Or homes.
But beyond that, the dear Ms. Palin really challenges the desire not to call someone a blithering idiot, but we'll do our best not to.
After all, on her Facebook page, the former half-term governor posts pictures of her daughter frolicking in the snow after having graduated. (What a shock! I mean, seriously, Sarah Palin uses her children like circus props more than Barnum and Bailey.) She then also adorably wrote, "We'll move our graduation b-b-q indoors and watch the mini-blizzard from 'round the fireplace."
All fun and games. La-dee-dah! Snow in May, get out the marshmallows. I'm sure that's what the dinosaurs all thought too as they pranced around in the snow drifts right before the Ice Age hit. (And yes, dinosaurs can prance.) Snow in May isn't actually a great thing. It's not supposed to snow in May. Or be so cold you have to huddle 'round the fireplace. But Ms. Palin is too busy trying to pretend she's a Science Whiz in order to keep her base uninformed, to know this. Hey, maybe it's just so cold she got brain freeze.
The reality is, it's not "global warming," no matter how many times you get it wrong, it's "climate change." And if you don't think snow in May isn't climate change, then you've probably got your head up your gluteus maximus.
But further, even if you really want to be wrong and call it "global warming," and think that snow in May -- and it being really cold in May -- proves "global warming" hilariously wrong, then even that shows an ignorance of the real, actual science going on.
Let's see if we can make it easy. That's probably the only way it will get through. And even then...:
The temperature rises unseasonably over the North Pole. That melts the snow. The melted snow evaporates into the sky. The evaporated moisture travels with the ocean trade winds. The higher the moisture gets in the upper atmosphere, the colder it gets. The cold turns the moisture into snow. And then the snow falls to the ground. In May. Because climate change got too warm -- which Sarah Palin wants to laugh at as "global warming."
Ignorance is no excuse for being stupid.
A mind is a terrible thing to lay waste.
But thank God she keeps giving me so much to write about.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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