Morning News Round-Up

President Obama signed a directive that put into motion $85 billion of across-the-board budget cuts, as the sequester now takes effect.

It would be interesting if the first of those cuts was the pay to members of Congress

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In an interview with "Fox News" that will air in full on Sunday, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said, "I think the president has to act in the interest of the country. And that means if we need an aircraft carrier in the Gulf -- and I believe we do, I thought we needed one more -- he should do it,"

It's nice to see that Mr. Romney has finally decided to talk about foreign policy. 

It's also nice to see that he thinks the president has to act in the interest of the country.  While that's a fresh take on politics, my view is slightly different.  Me, I know the president has to to act in the interest of the country.

As for his specific advice -- oh, never mind, the American public already said it disagrees with him.

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A Huffington Post headline reads, "Jennifer Lawrence Looks Different Without Makeup."

We look forward to upcoming breaking stories:

"Jennifer Hudson Looks Different After Losing 40 Pounds."

"Charles Barkley Looks Different with Head Shaved."

"John Boehner Looks Different Than When He Was in Third Grade."

"Every Woman on Earth Looks Different Without Makeup."

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In the latest issue of Inspire, Al Qaeda's English-language magazine, the terrorist group denounced President Obama's "evolving" position on gay marriage.

This is incredibly stunning news.  Who knew that Al Qaeda had a magazine??!

By the way, the current issue has articles, "Torching Parked Vehicles" and "Causing Road Accidents."  (Honest.)  I'm going to guess that next month they'll have a follow-up piece, "How to Get the Auto Club to Cover Your Next Vehicle."

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I swear to God this is true.  With my hand on a Bible, I didn't see this until 20 minutes after writing the above item on joke, upcoming Huffington Post headlines.  But to at least prove the headline is real, here is a screen shot -- from their front page, no less!