Louis F.*C.K

At the Celebrate America revival event last Wednesday, the Most Reverend Louie Gohmert, unordained Republican congressman from Texas explained his proof of the existence of "the Lord we know" by quoting the late Texas entertainer Bob Murphey, "How embarrassing for an intellectual to have to say 'Yeah, I believe that,'" Gohmert said, "Nobody plus nothing equals everything."

Before letting the Right Reverend Mr. Gohmert (R-TX) explain what he meant at the prayer rally -- since an explanation is necessary -- I'm first trying to figure out what being an atheist has to do with being an "intellectual."  I'm guessing that lots and lots of intellectuals believe in God.  And lots and lots more.  Maybe not the same God as the Pastor Gohmert -- they might be Jewish intellectuals, or Hindu intellectuals, or Muslim intellectuals, or even, for that matter Catholic or Baptist intellectuals -- but intellectuals all, nonetheless.  I certainly hope, after all, that Father Gohmert isn't saying one can't be intellectual in order to believe in God.  Except that does sort of seem to be what he's saying.  And who he's seemingly trying to impugn.  Smart people, y'know.  People who think.  And especially those who think too much.  Like those "intellectuals" who invented things like the microphone he was talking into and invented the video monitors showing himself to the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and invented the air conditioning that filled the hall, and the intellectuals who invented electricity to light everything around him.  And invented all the other technology around Pastor Gohmert like computers, the Internet, refrigerators, television, mobile phones, radio, bombs and missiles, heart-lung machines, x-ray machines, cappuccino machines, telecommunication satellites and...well, you get the point, on and on and on and on and on and on.  Terrible, Godless, heathen, damned "intellectuals" -- whose intelligence as nothing to do with whether or not they believe in God, but only to do with whether they're smart enough to do things with the life that God presumably gave them.  As opposed to not using their intelligence which apparently is against God -- even though God created Man's intellect, one would think -- as long as it's okay to think, mind you -- since it seems that God According to Gohmert doesn't want people smart enough to think about things, and create greatness for the benefit of Mankind.  It seems like Deacon Gohmert is preaching that God wants you to be not smart in order to believe in Him, and if so, then it must follow that the more "not smart" the more you can believe.  In other words, Louis Gohmert (R-TX) believes you have to be stupid to believe in God.

I would have to think that many religious people right now would be very offended at Congressman Gohmert, who probably should stick to politics, rather than religion.  Though I've never been impressed with him in the field of politics, either.  But maybe he can find something he can do without embarrassing others.

By the way, to be clear, I'm very serious about the above, and not being facetious in the slightest.  I don't know what in the world Louis Gohmert thinks being "intellectual" has to do with believing in God.  I stand firmly by my statement that Mankind is and has been full of intellectuals who believe devoutly in God.  And stupid people who don't.

I would think that Mr. Gohmert does have a problem with atheists, but that's another matter entirely.  I'm sure that atheists would have no problem disagreeing with Louis Gohmert, and both sides would probably love to debate one another.  But that's separate from being intellectual.

Anyway, that's just a massive hurdle I have before even getting to Congressman Gohmert's explanation of what he meant.  And honestly, I can't get over it, because I think he's created such a false mountain that its impassable.  But using the intellect that "the Lord we know" gave us, I'll make a leap of fairness to get to explanation that the politician gave to the congregation.

"You couldn't get everything," he sayeth, "unless there was something that was the creator of everything and that's the Lord we know.”

Okay, again, there's that impassable mountain.

This makes no sense.  The Lord that Louis Gohmert knows is not the Lord that Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, ancient Romans, equally ancient Greeks, Muslims and all the other many religions of the world know.  Nor does it explain some other Divine Being that might exist which has zero to do with the Lord that Mr. Gohmert knows.  Nor does it explain the science or rationales or belief that atheists would point to that involves matter and energy which they accept as the creator of everything.  

In other words, using the same reasoning as Louis Gohmert, he has created an explanation where nothing plus nobody equals everything.

(I should note here that this fits in nicely with the Celebrate America revival event he was preaching at.  I went to their website, and even after reading their explanation of who they were and what they were about, I still have no idea what their belief in religion has to do with celebrating America, other than culling a single sentence they quote, "firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence.” which is from the Declaration of Independence before America existed and isn't part of any part of the U.S. Constitution or American law, and in fact was written by a man who explicated believed that church and state should be profoundly separate.  So, given that the organization itself is so torn with convoluted and mistaken uncertainly, it only makes sense that Louis Gohmert (R-TX) is roaming the halls being quoted nonsensically.)

In the end, I think Louis Gohmert is his own worst enemy.  Because I think there is a case to make that if "the Lord we know" actually existed the way Right Reverend Louis Gohmert wants us to believe He does, then such a God would never allow someone to be named Louis Gohmert or act like one.