In the News-ish
Governor Mike Pence (R-IN) has reversed his earlier decision and vetoed the "Religious Freedom" Bill, saying, "I don't know what on earth I was thinking. This is a horrible, hateful bill, with a name that was offensively deceptive, we must have all had a brain freeze. On behalf of the State of Indiana, I would like to apologize."
North Korea reported today that they were indeed behind the attack on Sony Pictures, but said it wasn't to get back at the movie, The Interview, but rather an effort to get around subscribing to Netflix and were trying to download movies when things went horribly wrong.
The Chicago Cubs were made heavy 3-2 favorites to win the World Series. Second was the Kansas City Royals at 15-1 odds.
Apple announced that it would give full refunds to customers who buy the Apple Watch and are unhappy with how useless it is within 30 days of purchase. "We would have made hundreds of millions of dollars on this from just first day sales alone," a company spokesman said, "but it isn't worth the ill will we would have gotten."
Hillary Clinton said that her 30,000 deleted emails had been found. All were either from Nigerian princes with requests to help recover money, offers to buy inexpensive Viagra, or requests for donating to Republican candidates to defeat Hillary Clinton.
Walmart is pulling its headquarters out of Arkansas after the state passed its own discriminatory "Religious Freedom" bill. "Being based in a state that passes laws on helping businesses make less money is completely antithetical to the Walmart philosophy," said company president Doug McMillon.
Jeb Bush said that his deleted emails had been found. Apparently, they had been forwarded to Hillary Clinton by mistake.
Eleven days into Spring, the temperature in Oklahoma City hit a record low of 19-degrees, as a blizzard moved in to blanket the city with 24-inches of snow. "All right, all right, I get it," said Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK), "Climate Change is very real." He later resigned as chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee, stating that clearly he didn't know what he had been talking about when it came to science and the environment, and was clearly out of his depth, having no business serving on such a committee, let alone being in charge.
CBS Television announced that it was bringing back the series, Frank's Place, noting that they never should have canceled the 1987 series which was "one of the funniest, most thoughtful, charming programs ever on this network."
President Barack Obama told an audience of autoworkers in Detroit that he completely understood why conservatives have a problem with him, and that he's now changing his name back to "Barry" and from now on would do his best to be white. He clarified that no one should think that this meant he was Barry White.
Stephen King announced that starting on June 1, he too would be releasing a new novel every week for the next year, explaining that he wanted to compete with self-published ebook authors on Amazon. In addition, he was planning to write 15 sequels for his book Carrie, so that it could be better-positioned as a YA novel. He would be self-publishing the latter.
Samsung leaked information that its next smartphone, the Galaxy S7 Ultra, will follow the industry trend to larger devices and have a 12-inch screen. It will have a full keyboard, protective cover, 256 GB SSD. two full ports with the new USB-C 3.1 standard, weigh under 1.5 pounds, and will be marketed as a desktop replacement.
Ted Cruz canceled a speech on July 1 in Lubbock, Texas, for his presidential campaign because he informed staffers of a conflict and would be in Montreal celebrating Canada Day.
Papa John's Pizza has lowered the cost of pizzas by 10 cents, which they had previously raised to offset what they claimed would be added costs because of the Affordable Care Act, noting that the real cost was 3.5 cents anyway "So, we'll just put on two less pieces of pepperoni," a company representative said, "and we can now market it as lite and healthier. That's far better than continuing to drive customers away." In related news, Olive Garden will be given hours back to formerly full-time employees made part-time to avoid paying health care. "Too many employees were getting sick, so this just makes more sense financially," the company said.
An Ethics Bill has failed to pass in the Republican-controlled House by a vote of 206-8,342.
John Oliver sent out a videotape explaining that his rant the other day against April Fools Day pranks was itself an April Fools Day prank, but there had been a technical glitch which sent it out several days early, and in fact he loves April Fools Day.
So do I.
But not as much as my mother did...
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Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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