Dear Most Benevolent Reader,
On behalf of the entire world around you, My Beloved Reader, we thank thee for the opportunity and the blessing that you've given us to serve your reading pleasure and the Human Race. And we're continuing to work very hard every day to accomplish those goals.
It has been the greatest privilege of my entire life to write articles every day just so that you can read them. The honor thou hast bestowed upon me is one beyond compare. Not since the days of William Shakespeare's audiences at the Globe Theatre in Stratford-Upon-Avon has the honor been so great upon a writer. Each day, as the sun riseth and shines its beatific rays down onto God's green earth has the privilege -- and honor -- shined as brightly for any writer known to man or beast, assuming that beasts can read.
We thank thee, o reader, for the honor of you taking your precious time out of your God-given day, each and every single day, unless you only check in each and every week, or just on occasion to catch up, merely to stoppeth by these pages. I could receive no greater honor in the world, even if you each clicked the link above before buying something at Amazon which returneth unto us a commission. The privilege could be no higher.
No higher than the tallest trees. No higher than the loftiest buildings. No higher than the clouds above that grace us all. Just as you grace me, by your reading my words, these very words as I type them now. You are unto me like a big beautiful piece of chocolate cake, the greatest chocolate cake in all the world. So great that no ice cream is even needed on the side.
The honor and privilege are all mine. I thank thee for thy time. I thank thee for thy benevolence. These pages are here for you. You are doing a great job reading them. I will continue writing them for you. I ask for no loyalty from you that you ever even continue returning to these pages to read them, nor ever clicketh on the Amazon page nor buyeth even copies of A Christmas Carol 2: The Return of Scrooge, most especially during the holiday season.
I only hope you do.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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