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Decent Quality Since 1847

A Purely Civil Conversation

1/26/2024

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Over on Newsmax, they are discussing a “civil war” between the U.S. government and southern states over border security.
 
It is my belief (and of course I could be wrong about this) that the participants on Newsmax don't actually have the slightest clue what would be involved in a "civil war" taking place for any reason, but most especially for an issue that only directly impacts Texas. After all, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia, Arkansas, Tennessee, Oklahoma and Virginia do not actually touch the border of another country.  I would have thought over at Newsmax they might have, well, y’know, looked at a map first before trying to sound smart and be divisively racist, but I guess I was wrong about that.
 
At best, and this is stretching things a lot, a border issue with Mexico would impact only Arizona, New Mexico and California -- none of which are "southern states."  However, stringing deadly razor wire across a border river is not an issue that impacts either of those three states.  And California is certainly not going to join a civil war because of Mexico anyone.  Nor is New Mexico.  Both of whom have significant Mexican-American populations and get along with Mexico.  Arizona largely does, too, now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio isn’t in office anymore, although you never know what they’ll do with Katie Lake as the state’s faux-governor in her delusional mind.
 
On the other hand, perhaps the Newsmax participants are also thinking about Montana, Idaho, Washington, North Dakota, Minnesota, New York, Vermont and Maine. (And just to be nice, we’ll throw in Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania -- by the tippy tip – even though they have the massive Great Lakes for protection which would also require tons of razor wire.)  The Newsmax guys did refer only to “southern states,” which makes one think they’re only concerned with Mexicans coming into the U.S. and are okay with Canadians.  But not only is Canada another country, even though they speak English (well…most of them, there are still all those French-speaking Quebecois), but for all we know, people in Minnesota and Vermont – but especially Idaho – might be on-board with openly fighting the U.S. government in “civil war” over Mexicans.
 
Of course, as I noted, there are a whole lot of problems with any of these states – although, really, just Texas – fighting the U.S. government.  For starters, they don’t have armies.  Or a navy or air force.  They do have the National Guard, but being “national,” the bulk of funding for that comes from the federal government.  And I have to believe the feds would cut financing on that should any states (well, probably just Texas) declare war on the entire country.
 
And we haven’t even got to the problem of seceding from the Union before declaring a “civil war” on the United States.  Sure, they don’t have to – they can just try an Insurrection like they did on January 6, 2021, which gave them some practice, but let’s be honest, if you’re going to have a “civil war,” how wimpy do you look if you don’t secede first.  But then, as I wrote the other day, secession brings a whole separate set of horrible problems.
 
But sure, yammering on Newsmax (or wherever it pops up) about “civil war” sounds pretty darn macho and comes across as very cool swaggering and posturing to your delusional viewer.  The problem is that swaggering and posturing tend to be just a rhythmic dance, and yammering in an election year about racist civil war is generally considered a really bad platform for a party which is pushing it to rile its racist base.  And it’s made all the worse when it turns out that that party, which has been braying mournfully at the moon about how There is a Major Crisis (!!), has pulled away from its agreement to deal with immigration and the border because they don’t want the other side to be seen as actually working to solve the problem, so instead – in the midst of There is a Major Crisis (!!) - they instead choose to be the side that’s seen as not working to solve the problem.
 
And in the end, the bottom line is that anyone upset that Texas can’t put up deadly razor wire are really upset at the very conservative Supreme Court that said Texas can’t do it.  Which is a real hindrance when very conservative racists can’t even count on their own side for legal support to justify their racism.
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    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.

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