A Plague on Both His Houses

Christian broadcaster Rick Wiles was very excited on his radio show last week about what he considered the great news about the outbreak of the Ebola virus.  Oh, sure, I hear some of you shout who wouldn't be?!  But the devout Mr. Wiles was especially enthused.

“This Ebola epidemic could become a global pandemic, and that’s another name for plague,” he said, almost rapturous with Christian brotherhood.  “It may be the great attitude adjustment that I believe is coming.  Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and abortion.”

Right, he is.  And not just mere paltry attitude adjustments.  There are many other problems, too, that an Ebola plague could solve.

The threat of nuclear war

Unsolicited phone calls during dinner

The heartbreak of psoriasis

Loud and obnoxious children

Climate change

Silent and repressed children

Waiting for the cable repairman

Terrorists

Pacifists

The New York Mets

Divorce

Crotchety old men

Crotchety young men

Racism

Email spam

"Fox News"

High unemployment

Having to get up in the morning and go to work

Fighting rush hour traffic

Obesity

Left wing radicals

Right wing extremists

Christian broadcasters