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Decent Quality Since 1847

A-Pauling

3/19/2013

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Today, Rand Paul endorsed a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants.

Yesterday, Rand Paul endorsed a bill that would ban all abortion, by declaring that a person's life begins at conception, granting equal protection under the law for all zygotes.  Among other things, the bill would effectively make hormonal birth control drugs illegal.  His website notes that Sen. Paul (R-KY) also wants to end the " “flow of tax dollars to groups like Planned Parenthood"

Apparently Mr. Paul's endorsement of a path to full citizenship doesn't include women.

Unfortunately for the Republican senator, his "Life at Conception Act" might mean a significant loss of support from over half the population.  On the other hand, he's likely to pick up a lot of backing from the fertilized ovum community.

No word from Sen. Paul's office as to whether parents will be able to declare their gametes as dependents on their tax forms.

(By the way, my favorite thing about reading all the articles by PaulFans lauding him for his stance on conception is how they emphasize that he is "Dr. Paul" and has a medical degree.  Well, sure.  Except, the thing is, he's an ophthalmologist.  That's basically the equivalent of letting your tax attorney defend you on a murder charge before the Supreme Court because he's got an LL.D.  It's a step above noting that Peyton Manning is captain of the Denver Broncos, which qualifies him to helm a battlecruiser.  And anyone who thinks otherwise is free to let Dr. Paul perform their next gynecological exam.  Dr. Paul is just barely more qualified as an expert on women's health than is Mrs. Paul.)

In a whimsy of similar timing, the Republican Party released a report yesterday, as well, on the state of the party.  The GOP study stated that when "Asked to describe Republicans, they said that the Party is ‘scary,’ ‘narrow minded,’ and ‘out of touch’ and that we were a Party of ‘stuffy old men,’"

What would have given them that impression?

When presenting this "Growth and Opportunity Project" at a press conference, Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus said that the GOP had to do a better job convincing women of the Republican Party's historic position in women's rights.  What he left out was that this historic position seems to mean going backwards in history.  When men were men, and women were womenfolk.

The report said that the Republican Party needed to position itself to become more appealing to women.  And what says more appealing to women than banning abortion, eliminating birth control pills, cutting funding to Planned Parenthood, and having forced trans-vaginal probes.

Happy International Women's Month, from your Republican Party...

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    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.

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