It turns out that the same people who do those “Which snacks do you prefer?” videos – LADbible (and no, I have no idea why that’s their name) also have a series of “Test Your Friendship” videos where the put two celebrities friends together, who then quiz each other about themselves.  In this one, we have Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds.  The one thing I will say is that they both were quite off-beat in their younger days.

​I was so teeth-gnashingly annoyed by the endless coverage of South Carolina’s primary on Saturday.  It almost seemed like TV broadcasts of the Kentucky Derby – all day pre-event analysis, and then a 2-1/2-minute race.  MSNBC, had primary coverage for about nine hours (I assume CNN and perhaps Fox were around the same) – and just minutes after polls closed, they declared Trump the winner.  But my annoyance goes deeper than just that.  That was just a mere piffle and a waste of time, rather than a matter of substance.
 
The larger annoyance concerns pretty much all news coverage I’ve seen and read about where the Republican Party race stands now that Nikk Haley and Trump and Nikki are the two remaining GOP candidates.  It’s not that the material they’ve been reporting has been bad (it hasn’t), but that it’s been absolutely, totally meaningless.
 
I’m not being hyperbolic.  Here's why.
 
The focus of the coverage has been that Nikki Haley is staying in the race to the end, which she is doing in case Trump has to drop out for any reason.  (He won’t.)  Then, the thinking goes, she’ll be left alone in the field and become the nominee.  It sounds reasonable.  But – and this is the reason that that analysis is meaningless – this is not how the Republican Party works!  The GOP does not give its nomination to The Last Person Standing.  The official nomination goes to the candidate who gets 1,215 votes.  Period!  If for some reason Trump drops out of the race – he won’t – Nikki Haley isn’t going to be anointed the nominee with her 30 delegates merely because she stuck around.  Just like the Republican Party wouldn’t have made Vivek Ramaswamy or Asa Hutchinson or Chris Christie their party’s nominee merely because they decided to hang around to the very, very, bitter end after every other candidate accepted reality and stopped running.  In fact, as long as we’re speaking of reality, the reality is that none of those other candidates have ever yet actually quit the race officially, they merely said “I am suspending my campaign.”  (Yes, even Asa Hutchinson only “suspended” his campaign and is still an official candidate.) If Trump ever quits – he won’t – then all of the others will likely get back in the race in hopes of getting the 1,215 delegates needed.  Nikki Haley with 30 delegates is not – to repeat, she is not – going to become the GOP nominee simply because she chose to stay around and is The Last Person Standing. She needs 1,215 delegates.  Period.
 
But the problem that most bugs me the most is that I have yet to hear or read any analysis by anyone say this.  No one.  Now, of course, I haven’t heard anywhere near most of the analysis, though I’ve heard a lot.  And…nothing.  Personally, I think it should be the main thing discussed, if not the only thing, because it’s the only thing that actually matters for who gets the GOP nomination.  But I’d settle for it at least just periodically brought up.  However, since Nikki Haley became the last opponent to Trump, I have heard or read journalist or analyst say that to become the Republican nominee, she needs 1,215 delegates and not just be the only remaining survivor.
 
But the thing is, essential as that is, it’s not even the main bugaboo.  Because in only nine days, the Super Tuesday primaries take place.  So, on March 5, Trump likely will have the 1,215 delegates he needs for winning the nomination.  (If he doesn't, he’ll be next-door neighbor close.)  In other words – in nine days, the Republican race will be officially over.  Trump will have all the delegates he needs by Republican Party rules and will be their official nominee designate. And then, even if he quits (he won’t), there is no way in the remaining primaries for Nikki Haley (or anyone) to get 1,215 delegates themselves.  None.  It is mathematically impossible.

And, again, no one in the media is stating this, that I’ve seen.  They only talk about The Horse Race, and the chance of Nikki Haley becoming the Republican nominee because she’s The Last Person Standing if Trump drops out.  (He won’t.)  Not that in nine days, there will literally be no way for anyone but Trump to win the 1,215 delegates needed for the nomination.  Not a word about that from the media.
 
I mentioned this to a friend on Saturday.  He started to say, “The thing about your theory…” but I interrupted him, “No, this is not a ‘theory.’  I’m stating a fact.  The Republican by-laws say specifically and exactly that a candidate needs 1,215 delegates to get the nomination. Period.  They may be eventually forced to change their by-laws, but if so, that’s what it would require -- and imagine the fight about that!  But right now, the fact and reality is, you need 1,215 delegates to become the nominee.  And if you get 1,215 delegates, you are the GOP nominee.  That’s a literal fact.  Not a theory.”
 
For the media not to discuss this even just periodically (let alone all the time) is mind-numbingly irresponsible.  I do understand the reason they’re all talking about The Horse Race.  It’s conflict and dramatic and very easy to do and fun.  And it’s something to talk about.  But it’s also utterly irresponsible because it’s totally meaningless.  And deceptive and detrimental to the audience and readers. 
 
But the thing is, the real story, and the only meaningful one that I believe they should be talking about, is actually far more interesting and dramatic and full of much more conflict.

This meaningful and fare more dramatic story is: 
 
What happens if Trump reaches 1,215 delegates and is the official GOP nominee, and he later gets convicted in Jack Smith’s D.C. January 6 trial, and if he is therefore taken off the ballots as ineligible in several states, and his poll numbers drop?  What does the Republican Party do then, if they realize they’re facing party disaster and need Trump off the ballot, and he doesn’t quit (which he won’t)?
 
A quick side note:  I’m well-aware that this isn’t likely to happen.  But I do know that Trump getting convicted and taken off a few ballots and his poll numbers dropping is far, far, far, overwhelmingly more plausible than Nikki Haley with her 30 delegates being anointed the GOP nominee merely because she’s The Last Person Standing if Trump decides to drop out.  (He won’t.)  So, that’s why the real story is more interesting and dramatic and meaningful to talk about than the pure fantasy one.
 
So, what does the Republican Party do??  It’s not just that I have no idea – it’s that I suspect the party leaders don’t.  And it probably terrifies them.  What in GOP rules allows them to kick off a candidate who has the required 1,215 delegates?  And if they can even figure out a way to get Trump off the ballot…how do they go about then deciding on the new nominee?  As I said, all the other candidates will likely re-open their “suspended” campaigns” and run again.  And some new ones might even throw their hat in, with Trump no longer an opponent.  One answer is that the GOP will have an open convention.  And what a wild, furious one that would be.  Except – the huge problem there is that the situation I suggested is one that would occur after the Republican Convention ends on July 18.  Because, after all, it is improbable there will be a verdict in the D.C. trial before then.  So, if all this comes down after their convention what does the Republican Party do??!!
 
But it’s worse than even that!  (And yes, it’s possible to be worse.  Far worse.)
 
Because if the Republican Party decides it has to replace Trump, even after he gets the 1,215 delegates required and after he is officially nominated by the party, and they figure out how to do it, and they have a new nominee – and it may even be Nikki Haley, or…well, anyone –

-- how do you think Trump will take that?!

Here's someone who legitimately lost the 2020 election but has spent the last three years falsely crying out that it was rigged and stolen from him.  How do you think Trump will react to an election he legally won that was actually rigged and stolen from him?!!  Now that he knows all the trials will all move forward, and he risks going to prison.

For starters, I think we can pretty easily presume he would explode, cry out that the election was rigged and stolen, trash the new nominee on a relentless daily basis, burn down the party, and tell his base not to vote in the general election.
 
And I am sure that this is a situation that Republican Party leaders are aware of and deeply, profoundly terrified about.
 
To be clear, I am not saying any of this will happen.  It’s absolutely, unquestionably unlikely.  The general election will almost certainly be President Biden against Trump.  But the situation is not improbable.  And – more to the point -- it’s far more probable than Nikki Haley simply being handed the nomination as The Last Person Standing if Trump decides to drop out.  (He won’t.)
 
And further, I think that analyzing this situation, which is not improbable and is actually deeply meaningful for that reason, is significantly more interesting and dramatic and full of far more conflict than discussing a meaningless Horse Race which probably may be over in just nine days.
 
But the media has chosen the latter, with not a word about the former.
 
However, whatever they choose to analyze, reality has its way of rearing its head.

​On this week’s ‘Not My Job’ segment of the NPR quiz show Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me!, the guest is Bernie Taupin, longtime lyricist for Elton John.  In his conversation he’s a wonderful storyteller (though compressed, since his time is limited) and very funny with comeback quips.  The only quibble is that while guest host Peter Grosz asks good and interesting questions, at times he talks on a bit too much and you want to say, “Let Bernie talk!”
 
This is the full Wait, Wait… broadcast, but you can jump directly to the “Not My Job” segment, it starts around the 18:00 mark.

Hosts Phil Rosenthal and David Wild enjoy lunch with actor John Stamos, whose memoir If You Had Told Me is out now)  As they write, they “discuss John's remarkable life in show business from General Hospital to Full House to ER to Broadway and beyond, as well as his amazing decades of experience playing with The Beach Boys and his great friendships with two amazing comedians Don Rickles and Bob Saget.”    Oh, and as a bit of a P.S. for those who might be interested…to see the video Stamos references in the podcast – him performing a couple songs on drums at a party with John Foggerty and Bruce Springsteen -- it's available to download here!
​

​This week's contestant is Brian Hunke from Richmond, Virginia.  And it’s actually a new one.  The composer style genre is one of those which (for me) could be one of almost half a dozen, and not one I know well.  But I actually got it right – which is largely because the composer is one of the few from that genre who I knew better than most of the others.  As for the hidden song…well, let’s just say I thought it was wonderfully hidden and didn’t get it.  (I did hear a hidden song, it’s just not the one that was hidden.)

​The guest on this week’s Al Franken podcast is David Frum from The Atlantic Monthly.  He and Al discuss GOP dysfunction.  As Al puts it, they talk about the chaos that Donald Trump would bring if he were elected to a second term. From the border to foreign aid to Trump’s attempt to pardon his crimes… Can we withstand another Trump term?”