Trump sent out a two-part tweet yesterday.  It said that --

"I will be asking for a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including those registered to vote in two states, those who are illegal and....

"even, those registered to vote who are dead (and many for a long time). Depending on results, we will strengthen up voting procedures!"

I can only wish and pray that he does!!!  Because if there is a "major investigation into VOTER FRAUD" it will show what all studies of voter fraud have shown, that it is insignificant.  And that will prove to even his 32% of supporters that he lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton -- by almost three million people.

Mind you, it's very important to note that registering to vote in multiple states (like his chief adviser Steve Bannon did, as well as his daughter Tiffany and Treasury Secretary-nominee Steven Mnuchin...) is not only NOT "fraud," it's not even illegal.  And also -- while we're on the subject -- being registered when you're dead is obviously not illegal.  Since you're...well, dead.  What are they going to do, haul the corpse into court??  And therefore that's not "fraud" either.  If you actually vote in more than one state, that is illegal.  Or actually vote using a dead person's registration, that's obviously illegal, too.  But registering in more than one state?  Or when one is dead?  NO, neither of those is even remotely illegal.  If it was, then I suspect almost every person who ever moved to another state without removing themselves from the voter roles would have committed a crime.  And I suspect almost no one has ever taken a loved one off the voter roles.  Three to five million cases of "voter fraud" Trump says??  By his faux-standards there are probably a hundred million.  In reality, of course, none of that is illegal, and studies have long show there are a handful of actual voter fraud cases.  Which only occur when someone...fraudulently VOTES.

It would be nice if a President of the United States knew this.  And had advisers who knew this.

And none of this even takes into consideration his idiotic assurance that all these 3-5 million fake-cases of voter fraud all voted for Hillary Clinton, and none, zero for him.  How on earth he knows this, never mind that almost none exist, is one of life's great idiotic mysteries.

But then, the reality that studies show there are a minuscule number of voter fraud cases is the very the reason I doubt he will ever actually, officially call for a "major investigation into VOTER FRAUD."  Specifically because it will show by how much he really did lose the popular vote.  I think we'll see a Trump-initiated investigation into VOTER FRAUD right the IRS finishes it's supposed-audit of his taxes...

That said, I was intrigued by his comment, "Depending on results, we will strengthen up voting procedures!"  Here's hoping for that, too -- since any serious "major investigation into VOTER FRAUD" would likely show results that the voting procedures that need strengthening are to stop state laws that block minorities from voting, like shorter hours on election day and closing voting precincts in heavily-black areas.  Perhaps as they try to strengthen voting procedures they could even suggest extending early voting far more than exists today!!

So...cool.

Here's hoping that Trump does all the things he says in his tweets!

And no, I am not expected any of it.

Last week, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog covered the Trump Inauguration for the Conan show.  I'm not a huge fan of Triumph, but there are some things in this video that are comic gems, especially a couple of lines near the beginning that make it worthwhile.

You may have seen this video on Mark Evanier's website already, but there's one thing in it that Mark didn't know about which makes it all the more worthwhile.

And it's that at 5:54 in the video, David Apatoff appears.  

David Apatoff?, I hear you cry.  Yes.  As long-time readers of these pages know, I often write about my friend Nell Minow.  Well...David is Nell's husband!  In fact, I've probably known David longer than I know Nell since he grew up down the street from me.  He even remembers going to my 8th birthday party.

These days David is an accomplished lawyer in Washington on intellectual property, and also an expert in, of all things, illustration art and has written quite a bit about it.  He's also written about other things, like a six-volume work on The Government Compliance Handbook.  Take your pick.

He was minding his own business when pulled into the Triumph video.  He's easy to pick out -- David will be just to the left of center (as you look at the screen -- the farthest male to the left) and the only one well-dressed in a tie and coat, as if he's going to the Supreme Court, as well as wearing a dark-brown overcoat.  He'll also be the one who's laughing the most of everyone there, having a wonderful time with a big smile on his face, even as Triumph's humor gets fairly, how shall I put it?, gross -- in fact, he probably laughs more than anyone in the entire video.

Okay, for most of the day yesterday I'm flying home, respectably cut off from most news.  And I get home, turn on the television and -- yipes, that Trump fellow seems a wee bit out of control after only four days in office. Not just revoking the Obama Executive Order to block the Keystone Pipeline, but reviving it while owning stock in one of the companies that will build it.  Yipes.  A secret freeze put on the EPA to not, well, basically, do its job, and not release any information to the public (discovered only because an employee leaked the internal memo) and then deleting tweets from Badlands National Park about Climate Change.  Yipes.  And Press Secretary/Official Punching Bag Sean Spicer trying to explain away the Trump fake "charges" about 3-5 million "illegal" votes during the presidential election.  Yipes.  And none of this includes the normal head-banging news from the White House that doesn't quite reach the "Yipes" level.

It's hard to decide which is worst, but I sort of like the "illegal votes" story.  On most levels it's pointless, though on some it's most important at all, because it deals with undermining trust in the elective process.  It's also the most inexplicable of them all.

I mean, the guy won the election.  But he's SO gnawed and manic about losing the popular vote -- and by almost 3 million -- that he simply can't handle it.  And so he makes up a story about the most horrific, rampant voter fraud in U.S. history.  Yet without ANY EVIDENCE.  Or without calling for an investigation.  You'd think that would be something you'd really, really, really want to get to the bottom of.

After being bombarded with questions about a source that Trump cryptically referred to, Mr. Spencer finally reference an article, but the person who authored the piece later sent out a tweet that reiterated there was NO FRAUD.  (He put it in caps, that wasn't my editorial comment.)  

It's hard to find the right adjective to describe this.  Nuts, crazed, pathetic, idiotic, sick, deranged, despicable.  Take your choice, or add your own.  When Republicans in the House and Senate were asked about the Trump "charge," not a single one would defend it, while doing their best to run away or at least tap dance their way around it.

And we're four days into the administration.

I think people have pretty much figured out how to make the president -- sheesh -- crazed.  Say something critical about him.  And if you really want to drive him off the ledge, bring up numbers (any numbers) and make clear that his (whatever they are, including the length of his fingers...) are smaller than someone else's.

I don't think you need to be a psychiatrist to figure this out, what's going on.  Which is just what you want in a president, of course.  I do, though, think it's probably a good idea for everyone in the White House to carry around a ruler, because they are never going to known when they'll need it to start measuring their boss against...well, pretty much anyone.

Yipes.

​Get used to the word.

​Back from Chicago, and the homestead is in respectable shape.  The elves watching over the place cleaned things up pretty well, though I can tell the refrigerator needs serious restocking.  Fair enough.

I'm a little bit beat, but want to get this posted now.  So, if there are typos (and "if" is probably a high-degree of wishful thinking...), that's the reason.  No proof-reading at the moment.
 
The weather in Chicago the whole week was bizarre.  It’s usually in the 20s, and often as low as 10 degrees – and can get worse.  A few weeks ago, it was 9-below zero.  But this week, the lowest it got was 34 degrees.  Mostly it was in the 30s, with a few nudges into the lower 40s, and one day, as I noted, it hit a glorious (but weird) 59-degrees.  Fortunately, that was the day I had planned to go to the Chicago Botanic Garden.
 
It still was a bit nippy, especially at night, but no one was seriously complaining.  Nippy is very livable when you’re expecting brutal.
 
I had a couple of particularly interesting days back-to-back.  On the first, I went to visit my relative Elinor Miller, who I wrote about earlier, who is now 101.  She’s physically frail, but she’s got sparkle, and her mind is sharp, even if there are a few lapses in details.  She’s still in her own house, where she’s lived for 72 years.  (It’s three doors down from the house where they filmed Home Alone, and she still enjoys watching all the tourists come by to take pictures.)  And the next day, I went back to my folks’ old residence to visit with some people there, including Adeline Cohn – who I also have written about – who six months ago turned 100.  She’s slowed down somewhat, but is vibrant and active.  We had brunch together, she had to leave early to go play bridge, and then later that evening she was going out to dinner.  She too has some lapses, and with both, you get a lot of repeated stories, but she’s a joy.  Whenever I’d stayed at the residence for a visit, and she’d ask about when I wanted to get together for dinner, I’d always say, “You tell me when you can, because you’ve got a much busier social schedule.”
 
This was also when I finally got my Cubs World Series swag.  Friends kept expressing surprise that I didn’t buy anything right away, but I would tell them all that after 108 years I was fine waiting two months.  I figured that all the paraphernalia was going to be expensive right away, and then there would be Christmas, so prices would stay full price.  But since I knew I was going to be in Chicago in January, I could just go into sporting goods stores directly when everything was finally on sale.  And all the things I ended up getting would have cost $130 retail back in November, but the other day was $54.  It was a good decision.  And I’m all set for the next century…
 
I didn’t make a culinary tour of all my favorite places to eat, but did cover many, if not most.  The aforementioned Charlie Beinlich’s Food & Tap, as well as deep dish pizza (lots of good places to choose from, but my relatives live near a Lou Malnati’s) – and yes, I brought back a frozen one for later pleasure, Walker Bros./The Original Pancake House for one of their great apple pancakes which is almost like a rich apple soufflé, some good fish in Highwood with my vegetarian cousin, and of course a tasty Vienna Chicago hot dog loaded full with the obligatory “salad” toppings.
 
The only other activities were the two I wrote about, the Art Institute of Chicago (which is stunning) and the terrific production of The Hunter and the Bear by the PigPen Theatre Company at the Writers Theatre in Glencoe.  I found out that their previous show, The Old Man and the Old Moon, which I saw there a couple years ago – and was tremendous and wildly inventive – will be coming to San Diego at the Old Globe Theatre (with the PigPen company again doing the show) in just a few months.  I may drive down to see it again, but as the time nears, I’ll write about it here in case anyone in Los Angeles or the area wants to head over and see it for themselves.  It’s a joy.
 
The only semi-disappointment is that the Northwestern basketball team wasn’t in town this past week.  They’re actually reasonably good this year, and most analysts are saying they have a reasonable chance to make the NCAA tournament this year.  That may not sound like much, but you have to realize – in the history of the NCAA…they are the ONLY major school not to have ever played in the tournament!!  So, if they do make it this year, it will be a Really Big Deal.  I did see them play on TV, and did walk through campus – my relatives live only a few blocks away.  And it looked wonderful and was full of a great amount of new construction, including a lot of new theaters and concert halls.  Besides which, when I wandered through the Norris Center, it was an 44th anniversary for the place and for some reason they were celebrating that, so I got a piece of cake.  So, all was well with the world.
 
And now I’m back in Los Angeles.  And life goes on...  

Just a quick note that this is Head Back to Chicago Day.  So, I'll be out of communication for a while.  I get back a little later than usual on my flights west, though with the two-hour time savings, I should be able to get something post later on today.

This is also a heads-up to the elves taking care of the homestead to start cleaning up...

To help fill in the time as you twiddle your thumbs waiting, here are both James Taylor and Carole King singing together a duet of her song, "You've Got a Friend," for which they each famously had a hit.  This comes from a 2007 concert they did in Los Angeles at the Troubadour, and opens with Taylor talking about how it all came about.

Here are some more "Mean Tweets" from the Jimmy Kimmel Show.   By way of reminder, this is where celebrities read particularly obnoxious and nasty tweets about themselves.