There's an iconic scene in the movie Major League, where Charlie Sheen's wild relief pitcher character throws a ball so far away from home plate that it almost flies into the stands, and radio announcer Bob Uecker famously says in a classic of understatement, "Juuuuust a bit outside." That's how I felt about my newspaper delivery on Sunday. Actually, I ended up calling the Los Angeles Times customer service to say that I didn't get a paper at all. I opened the front door of my third-floor condo, and no paper. Not on the door mat, not in the short, 10-foot hallway out front, not dropped around the corner at the elevator, and not left anywhere downstairs, either in the lobby or outside the building. No paper. So, I called. Then yesterday, as I left my home to run an errand, I went to the end of that short hallway outside, stopped a moment to look back and make sure I'd locked the door -- and made a discovery. Okay, first, this is the front of my place. And this is what I saw when I stopped at the end of the path and happened to look back without a post blocking my view -- First of all, why the delivery guy threw the paper, rather than walk the eight feet he usually does (or just walk four feet and drop the paper near his feet) is beyond me. But second, given that he did toss the paper -- how in the world do you miss by THAT MUCH???!! Though I must admit, getting it to land on the edge is a pretty nifty trick. Being three floors up, I wasn't about hop over the railing and walk out on the ledge, but happily it was within reach of stretching over and being knocked down to the courtyard with a broom. And that's, literally, the news...
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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