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No Ifs, Ands or Botts

2/18/2021

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In the past, I've periodically mentioned my friend Ed Bott, who is a major Tech Guru I became friends with on those IFA tech show trips to Berlin.  For those new to these pages, he’s a wonderful guy, but truly brilliant with tech.  (And arguably has one of the best names for someone in tech.)  We've often heard the expression about experts, when people say, “He wrote the book on…" whatever their top-notch skill is.  Well, Ed literally “wrote the book” on how to use Windows 10.  He wrote the official Windows 10 guide for Microsoft Press.  In fact, he’s written 27 books for Microsoft Press.  (Though it might be more, I've lost count...)  And has a regular column on ZDNet, a major tech website.  (In fact, I knew who Ed was before we met, from his columns.)  Good, too, is that when he writes his tech pieces, he speaks human English and not techese.
 
Sometimes when I have an utterly bewildering tech issue, I’ll ask Ed how to get out of the weeds, and he’ll almost always have the solution, no matter how convoluted the problem, no matter how convoluted other online experts say the resolution is.  (My favorite Ed Bott Line came after I once asked him about some problem and passed along the very long resolution I found online that I was wary to try before asking him if it made sense.  His great response was, “Oh, Lordy, someone is sending you down a long and twisted path.”  And being Ed, what he also said, “No, do this” – and it was like four easy steps, and it worked.)
 
You cherish such people and keep them close.  Not just for their good cheer as a friend, but their tech expertise getting you out of Tech Hell.  I’m always wary though of contacting him too often with a problem since he is, after all, such a major expert, and he always devotes so much time to helping me resolving it.  (I had a laptop go belly-up in a totally weird way a few months back, and the effort Ed spent trying to resolved it via countless emails was Herculean.  And he finally did.)  But he always says the time he spends is not a problem because, “This is what I do," and also "When I answer your questions it gives me column ideas, because I figure if you're having that problem, other people are, too..”  And some of those headaches have indeed turned up as jumping-off points for his columns.
 
Anyway, that’s the brief background of who Ed Bott is.
 
A couple weeks ago I was looking into getting a new computer system.  I mentioned this to Ed and asked if he had any suggestion.  And being Ed, he not only had suggestions, but thought it deserved a "Windows Meet Now" video call.  (That's Windows' new Zoom-like feature they've built into the operating system that's based on Skype, which Microsoft owns.)  And so, we spent a lot of time talking about all the various options, including things called NUC’s (which I'd never heard of) and Small Form Factor systems and laptop docking stations, beyond the normal tower systems.  In fact, we literally spent over an hour talking, to the degree that I told him once again that I really did feel guilty with this issue using up SOOOO much of his time.  He laughed and said, no, that he would get a column out of it.  And that he had even asked certain questions which would help in such a column.
 
The thing is, he not only did it, but it turned out that it wasn’t just an idea for a column – but it was the column, the whole experience.  And he published the column last Friday.  The piece is about the various options most people don’t always consider when getting a new home computer system, and it's specifically based in full detail on our hour-long discussion.. 
 
And funniest of all is in the third paragraph.  That’s when he explains the basis for the column and talks about how he has a friend in Southern California looking into getting a new computer, and adds, “Let’s call him Bob.”  I burst out laughing.  Great pseudonym.  I later told him that since the article was based completely on our video conversation, it was the first time I’d read one of his articles and after every paragraph was able to say, “Oh, pffft, I know that.” 
 
If you’re interested, you can read the article here.  It would be especially valuable if you're thinking of getting a new computer soon.  Or if you think you may want to get one in the near future.  If not, it's still an interesting thing to read (because that's how Ed writes), but at the very least, the third paragraph is the treat.
  
But even more fun is that he does a video version of the article.  ZDNet often has one of their reporters talk to Ed after one of his columns, usually Karen Roby, and they get a more personal, detailed version of what he wrote.  In this case, the video is much closer to the video chat he and I had, rather than the article which is more about the specific options.  But what’s funny in the video is that he skips over the “Let’s call him…” part, and it’s just plain, “I have a friend in Southern California named Bob.”   And if you do decide to click on the video for even just a minute, you’ll get to see Ed and how personable he is, especially for a serious tech maven.
 
For those who do watch the video, it's excellent, though I do want to take squatter's right and make a few minor disclaimers.  I told Ed later that my only tiny “quibble” with the video is that he mentions Bob’s old system is 14 years old – which is true, but of course I did have it upgraded during that time as much as I could.  (It's pretty funny in the video, because when Ed mentions this to the interviewer, Ms. Roby's mouth drops about eight inches in horror...)  The one problem I face with my system is not that "it's old" (since as I said I've upgraded most of it), but mainly that the RAM is limited to a paltry 4 GB and can't physically be upgraded.  And as a result of that, the processor is a bit slow, too, though not as much an issue.  Also, another disclaimer is that when Ed and I spoke about “expansion” which he brings up in the video, my bigger question was less about expansion cards, which is what he discusses here -- since he had told me that that was not much of an issue today -- but rather, USB ports.  However, I realized I could use a USB hub, so that issue was resolved.  And at the end of the video, he says that I haven’t decided what to get yet but am considering the NUC and may still stick with another tower system.  However, while I did say that, it was only in our first conversation.  At this point, after more research on what Ed discussed with me, it’s down to an NUC or laptop docking station.  The bottomline, though is that the video very enjoyable. 

By the way, Ed describes what an NUC is in the video and very well.  The short version is that they're small boxes, not significantly bigger than a cigar box, that are full-powered computers.  They have a few limitations, but for most people those limitations won't overlap with their needs.
 
If you’re interested to even briefly see Ed, the video is right under the list of products near the top.  And even if you skip the article entirely, at least you know that Ed Bott has a friend in Southern California who, for the sake of discussion, let’s call him ‘Bob.’”

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CES 2021:  Yes, It Actually Took Place

2/5/2021

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I've written a tech column, "The Writers Workbench," for the Writers Guild of America for about 20 years, and for a few years even wrote it for the TV Academy.  And as readers of those pages -- and those -- know, I love the Consumer Electronics Show held every January in Las Vegas.  To me, it is Disneyland for adults, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.  Well, this time of year it came around again, and it was held...well, not officially in Las Vegas, but online.

CES this year was quite weird, a virtual show all online.  It was nothing like a "real" Consumer Electronics Show, of course, and by comparison it wasn't especially good.  But considering the realities it faced, it was enjoyable and seriously impressive that it went on at all, let alone as well-done as it was.  I missed the wandering the halls and crossing paths with friends I only see once a year and the buffets.  But I had a lot more to write about than I expected, and I liked the job that everyone was able to put together.  I may have liked some things more than others, but overall I thought it was a terrific job all around.
 
So, here's my round-up of CES from this virtual year.  The good news for most people is that it's overwhelmingly shorter than the epic-length article I usually write.  However I still was able to cover a fair amount of ground.  And even if I couldn't track down nearly as much fascinating tech that usually falls under the wire, hopefully there's enough to stand out -- like a Bluetooth speaker for showers powered by the running water, eyeglasses that let you change focus depending on what you're using them for, a scanner that can read aloud text from any surface including a Smartphone screen and more.

Because it's a major bother to re-code the whole article for here, instead I'll just link to the article on the WGA website where it's not only done, but  far better than I could.  So for thems interested, click here to take a look at some of the new, and often interesting tech that is coming in the year (and in some cases, years) ahead.

Even though the article itself is far from the norm, I must admit that I liked the twist on my normal title for the thing.  So, if only for that, it was worth it.  If you’re interested in reading anything else beyond the title, that’s totally up to you...

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The Holiday Music Fest 2020

12/21/2020

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Okay, this is a bit weird (with "a bit" being an understatement), though really quite wonderful.

Netflix says it commissioned a fellow named Keaton Patti to run 1,000 Christmas movies through a bot and “created our own mathematically perfect Holiday film made entirely by bots.”  Now, of course, it’s possible that this is just a terrible video that they created to be funny.  But it’s really SO nonsensical in insignificant ways that I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s on the level.  In fact, the only thing noticeably missing is a bakery, department store and Christmas tree farm.  But otherwise, they've given Hallmark a run for its money...

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The Writers Workbench

11/13/2020

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I haven't been doing as many of my "The Writers Workbench" columns for the Writers Guild as in the past.  But I do pop in with one every once in a while.  And given that I suspect the television has become a lot of people's New Best Friend during the past eight months, I thought it would be good timing to look at the new Chromecast with Google TV, a device that "casts" or basically mirrors whatever is on your mobile device onto your TV. It does more than that, but it sort of, kind of turns any television into a Smart TV.
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(I also explain in the article how you can mirror your laptop to your TV extremely easily and inexpensively, with the help of only an HDMI cable, which some people may even have a spare lying around the house.)

I addition, the articles look at the Anker PowerExtend USB-C Capsule, a device that expand your outlets and serves as a surge suppressor, but I found that it can also fill a potential limitation of the Chromecast.

As I always note, because the Writers Guild has already coded the article, and it would be convoluted to read it here, this is the link to read all about it.

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Tweet of the Day

10/23/2020

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I swear this is true.  You will either love this or spend the rest of the day banging your head against the wall.  I just came across this tweet a couple minutes ago, and it is serious and on the level.  I

This is from a guy who identifies himself as a “legal and political analyst for the Fox News Channel.”  Really.  His name is even familiar to me.  For those who watch "Fox News" periodically or regularly, you probably know him.

I find it odd, if not curious, that the moment I hit “send” on my column that’s highly critical of Joe Biden my Wi-Fi service disconnected. Inexplicably, it will be out all day. Never happened before. Probably just a coincidence. I drove to the local store and sent the column .

— Gregg Jarrett (@GreggJarrett) October 23, 2020

​This is how he actually thinks technology works.  That it's "probably" just a coincidence.  Probably!!!  And he’s a legal and political analyst for “Fox News”!!!!  Boy, does this explain a lot.
 
It’s one thing for idiots to have idiot conspiracy theories.  But as biased as they are at “Fox News,” you still hope that their “legal and political analysts” are just biased and not brain-dead.  Alas…
 ​
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Tech Corner

9/9/2020

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One of the funniest tech columns I've read (while being very informative on a good subject) was this by my pal Ed Bott on ZDNet.  It's about people focusing on the wrong thing and missing all the apps that can't be uninstalled from different platforms - some for good reasons, some not.

The story began life when Ed was hearing about outrage from people and other reporters about how it wasn't possible to uninstall Microsoft's Edge browser from Windows when that operating system is installed.  He makes the point that what people complaining don't realize is that if you immediately uninstall the Edge upon getting Windows -- which many people might do -- then you would have no way of downloading whatever browser you choose to run.  So, Windows makes it impossible to uninstall Edge, but after you get the browser you want, you can make it your default browser and simply hide Edge.

But then he goes further, looking into all the different programs that people don't realize can't be uninstalled, whether from Windows or the Apple operating system.

And it's all done in Ed's straightforward, easy to follow in English and funny way.  And all the better, the article  -- titled, "
How to uninstall Chrome, Safari, and other built-in apps? OMG, you can't!​" -- also has one of my favorite tech quips I've come across. Without giving it away, in case you do read the article, it deals with the Apple app for chess that can't be uninstalled.

You can read the fun article here.
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Whistle While You Vork

8/17/2020

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Much as there's SO much political news to deal with, I nonetheless thought I'd go with something different this morning instead.  A tech warning.

I did something very stupid yesterday.  Fortunately, it didn't go any farther than that, and there was no problem.  I could have done something disastrous.  But happily had the presence of mind to double-check before it was too late, and all's well.  But that's why the warning.  And a warning with an added asterisk that I've been writing a tech column for over 20 years and should be fooled like like, making it all the more stupid, but also making it all the more clear how vigilant one has to be.

Yesterday, I got a pop-up message that my Flash software might be out-of-date, and would I like it to download the update.  (Flash software is what allows graphics to be animated, among other things, mostly for games but also some online applications.)  Now, the notice seemed a bit odd, since I didn't recall ever getting a pop-warning notice before, but I have had to update my Flash software, though usually manually.  And I didn't exactly remember what prompted me to update it -- just a random, periodic manual check, perhaps?  Or a graphic animation wasn't working, maybe.  Or a notice that it was out-of-date when a Flash animation came on screen?  Or...a pop-up like this, possibly.

I didn't recall.  I did know, though, that I have auto-updates set on much of my software, and I also have software that checks for when updates are available.  (I manually run one of those checkers every Sunday, in fact, and had done so that very morning.)  So, I was surprised, but though it reasonable enough to download the update which looked absolutely real with the Flash logo and everything.

That said, I'll admit to further being surprised that it automatically downloaded the Flash update before I even had a chance to click "Download."  And that did make me wary -- but not as wary as I should have been, since I figured it was just related to my various auto-check programs about updates.

What also struck me was weird was that I thought I'd read that Flash was going to be discontinued, though I figured I might have been confusing it with another similar type of software known as Java.  In fact, Java was discontinued.in 2018, I believe.  So, I thought that that was probably what I was thinking of.

Important note:  When you have a lot of yellow caution warning lights, they're there for a reason.  So, stop.  And I usually do stop at that point, since I was wary about a lot of things.  But there were enough answers to my wariness that I movie forward foolishly.

Foolishly, yes, but for all this above, I still hadn't taken a direct action that was actually stupid.  All this I've just described was automatic on its own.  What was stupid is that I went to the downloaded file and double-clicked on it to run.  What on earth I was thinking, I don't know.  I could have opened the door to disaster.

Fortunately, like all software, another pop-up box then appeared telling me about the file and asking me to confirm the download.  And that's when I fortunately looked closer and took a step back.

It actually all looked fine.  But there was one line that looked off.  It showed the location where the server was located that would be installing the file.  Fortunately.  It was something like "Netvork  Tekhnolodzhiz - Tov."  Now, of course, lot of techies have senses of humor of come up with funny names for their servers.  Just that morning, I've updated one of my pieces of software using the popular Major Geeks.  (Another reason I was in the "updating software" frame of mind, probably...)  And I do know that some servers are overseas.  And I could have just missed the spelling if I wasn't at least (happily) wary enough to look.  And that didn't look right.  At all.  So -- fortunately and joyously -- I held up clicking on the "Install" button and went back to my web browser and did a search for "Netvork  Tekhnolodzhiz - Tov."

I still don't know what it is.  But that's because there were a lot of listings, some for that, some for other things different, with lots of various explanations -- but one word that showed up in the first few listings was..."Ukraine."

I didn't look any further.  I didn't care if it was legitimate.  If my Flash player was going to be out-of-date, so be it.  I could always check into it later on.  And if worse comes to worse, ask my tech guru Ed Bott, who would probably say, "Are you nuts???!!!" -- and who is probably shaking his head in agony while laughing at the same time (since I did say I was safe...) while he's reading this.

I mean, seriously -- "Ukraine"!!  Why not put a skull-and-crossbones on it with "666" superimposed underneath and have ominous organ music blast out of my speakers?  Ukraine.  Thank goodness it wasn't something even slightly less blatant, like...oh, Moldova.  Perhaps the only time I was actually thrilled to see "Ukraine" appear during this election cycle.  

So, after seeing "Ukraine" -- and I mean instantly after -- I immediately went back to the pop-up screen, immediately clicked "Cancel" and not only immediately deleted the file, but permanently deleted it, immediately.  And immediately closed all the pop-up screens where it was asking me about the file.  (Which I hadn't seen before, but is another dead giveaway that someone is trying to get you to do something you shouldn't.)

And by the way, I later did a search and it turns out I was right -- Flash is being discontinued in December, 2020 -- only four months away.

So, other than feeling like a total idiot for not stopping immediately when I had all those "yellow caution warning lights" in my gut -- and mind -- and then actually clicking on the file, all is well.  No problem was caused, because I did finally hold off and looked into what finally was enough to seem wrong.

How did I get that download?  I'm not sure, but I think it came as a result of a search I was doing for a question I had.  I was clicking on sites that seemed like they might have an answer -- all of which were ones that I either recognized or appeared reasonably legitimate -- except for one that had an odd name.  But it was an odd question, and it was only information I was looking forward, I wasn't planning on clicking on anything.  But I'm sure it was that website, and when I simply accessed, it sent that download.  Which I idiotically clicked on.  And then stopped, fortunately researched it and then happily canceled out.

So, that's the warning.

You probably know it.  And probably follow it.  But it's still good to be reminded of things being especially clever and catching you off-guard even when you're fairly wary.  I mean, as I said at the beginning I've been writing a tech column for over 20 years, and I just did something incredibly stupid and naive (though "naive" is too kind a word.  It' was mind-numblingly idiotic.)  But if there are just enough reasons to move forward, that's what sometimes gets done.  Which is a good reason to repeat the "Important note" yet again --


When you have a lot of yellow caution warning lights, they're there for a reason.  So, stop.

It's sort of the way I feel about people who foolishly are thinking of voting for Trump and anyone in the Republican Party.

Ah, great!  I knew I'd be able to get around to some political opinion this morning.  Phew!!!
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The Writers Workbench

8/11/2020

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I haven't been writing my Writers Workbench tech review column for a while -- it seems other things have gotten in the way -- but I did finally just step back into the stream and had a new column posted on the Writers Guild of America website..  This was for the SanDisk Extreme Portable SSD external drive.  It's ethereally light and small, and for large files especially, blisteringly fast.  It's not for everyone's needs, but those who do have a use for it, it's very impressive.

I note a couple of oddities in my testing of small files, but that didn’t affect my thoughts over all.  Just odd.
 
As always, because coding the article is a pain -- and the WGA has done it for me on their site -- It's far easier to just provide a link to it there.

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Last Week Tonight Last Night

6/15/2020

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If you missed ​Last Week Tonight with John Oliver last night, here's the Main Story on facial recognition.  It's extremely interesting -- fascinating about the development of the technology and concerning about the lack of controls for the most part.  And he and his crack staff are able to make if funny, as well.
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iMedia Alert-ish

3/22/2020

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Even if you don't like auto racing, this is brilliant -- and bizarre. A full 35 major NASCAR drivers are starting a "virtual" iRacing series, broadcast on Fox Sports 1 with their regular announcers calling the iRace. Keep in mind that most drivers began with video games. And many likely already had iRace set-ups in their home, complete with a wheel and drivers seat to "drive" the virtual car and monitor.

The first race is on now as I type this (2:45 pm EDT), and it actually looks semi-real, including sound-effects, stats, in-race interviews with the drivers (skyping in videos from home), replays, and visual effects, like smoke from the cars and the weather changing. A funny moment came when one of the drivers tweeted that he had to go to the bathroom, and so to hold down the fort he attached a photo of his dogs in his chair and at the wheel..

And when I said that these were major NASCAR drivers taking part, I meant it.  Among the drivers participating are the defending Daytona 500 champion Denny Hamlin, defending NASCAR Cup Series champion 
Kyle Busch, the 2018 champion Joey Logano, 2012 champion Brad Keselowski, seven-time champ Jimmie Johnson, and 2016 rookie of the year Chase Elliott.  What's more, even legendary Dale Earnhardt Jr. came out of "retirement" to join in.

The thought was that if this got a good response, they'd make a full series out of it.  Given that this is apparently trending #2 on Twitter, it certainly appears to have gotten the reaction they were hoping for.

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    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.



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