It turns out that Republicans have realized that proclaiming themselves “Pro-Life” isn’t resonating with the public anymore, and what’s needed is to “re-brand” themselves. Because, yes, that’s the problem, the brand name – not that their position is to restrict abortions, in some cases no later than after just six weeks when most women don’t even know they’re pregnant, with no exceptions for rape or the health of the woman, and pushing towards a national abortion ban. It’s the brand, apparently that is infuriating women voters -- in fact, voters of both genders and both parties, and by massive majorities. It’s the name! In fairness, there have been instances where a product name did hurt the brand. Most notably the appetite suppressing candy Ayds, which never was able to overcome the unfortunate allusion to a deadly illness, and it went out of business. Other problematic brand names include – IKEA’s Fartfull Workbench, Wack Off! Insect repellant, The Jew’s Ear juice beverage, Reebok Incubus athletic shoes for women, iBeat Blaxx mp3 player, K.U.M. Hair Care and 666 Cold Preparation. (And yes, all these are real.) So, with all these examples supporting them, “Pro-Life” proponents in the Republican Party clearly believe they’re in very good company for pointing to horrific brand-names that pummeled the product. Of course, the hurdle with this thinking is that in these other instances, the companies had perfectly good products, but mind-numbingly awful names. Pro-Lifers have a perfectly excellent name with a crash-and-burn product. The result of all this is that Republicans have been searching around for a new brand that people will like. One possibility I might suggest is “Pro-Choice.” The public seems to love that -- a lot. Unfortunately, it’s been taken. As has another alternative to Pro-Life -- “Live Long and Prosper”. A good brand that’s available might be “Team Pizza.” No, it has zero relation to abortion, but that’s clearly a good thing, and people really love pizza. Or perhaps “Pro-Ceed.” After all, “pro-” has the right connotation that these brands require, “proceed” is forward looking, and “ceed” is a homonym that would remind people of the initial step of procreation and life! However, what the Republican Party seems to have come up with (for now, because – as they say in show biz – it doesn’t seem to have legs. Or thought) is “Pro-Baby.” That’s what the GOP’s ace marketeer Sen. Todd Young (R-IN) came up with. (Interestingly, it’s possible that he was spurred on to this brand by adapting my “Live Long and Prosper” idea. The connection to Star Trek’s Mr. Spock would remind people of Dr. Spock – and he, of course, is beloved as the famous baby doctor! Pro-Baby, indeed.) Despite initial skepticism, one thing I must acknowledge is that there’s something brilliant about this new brand for former Pro-Choice Republicans. Not only does “Pro-Baby” let Republicans appeal to voters on behalf of cute, roly-poly cherubs – but even more, it’s a direct connection to the Republican Party Leader! In fact, they even already have a mascot built in and ready to go! And what brand isn’t improved by an adorable mascot? Pro-Baby! Imagine how impactful this brand-new brand name and flying Trump Baby will be in tandem at anti-abortion rallies for the Republican Party!! Oh, baby! Such excitement. The fevered pitch of proselytizing, outraged speeches on behalf of babies, beautiful wholesome babies, as eyes search the sky in anticipation of that explosive moment when – there it is! -- the blimp soars overhead. And instead of throwing confetti in the air, crowds could bring talcum powder and fling it.
Every time you think “Pro-Baby,” you’ll also think of Trump. And every time Trump comes to mind, you won’t be able to help but think immediately “Now, there’s a Pro-Baby.” It’s marketing 101 heaven. There is, however, one major downside to marketing your no-abortion brand as “Pro-Baby.” And unfortunately, it really is a big one. (Well…it’s a really big one when you’re the Republican Party, so maybe they haven’t thought this through all the way.) If you are going to call yourself the “Pro-Baby” Party, then you pretty much have painted yourself into a corner of being obligated to support…well, babies. And that’s never been a major GOP strong point. Being “Pro-Baby” means you have to support accessible and affordable funding for child care. And paid family leave from work -- for both the mother and father. And childhood vaccines. And early pre-K education. And you need to do all this, providing not just basic assistance, but going all-in with full, unfettered support because you are now “Pro-Baby”. There is also one other, more pesky problem for Republicans in switching from being “Pro-Life” to “Pro-Baby.” They will now only be able to address abortion from the standpoint of the baby. No more convoluted arguments trying to convince others about when “life” begins. Or trying to give human rights to a xygote or a fetus. Because we all know what a baby is, and a seed isn’t a baby, a xygote isn’t a baby, even a fetus isn’t a baby. (After all, that’s why it’s called “a fetus.”) And once the fetus does finally become viable as “a baby” – which is now, with its “Pro-Baby” brand, the core of the GOP anti-abortion brand – there is absolutely no political official of any party who is trying to make a case for allowing abortion at that point. None. Zero. Nada. So, Republicans appear to be in a very difficult place. And they’re making it much harder for themselves by choosing to go Pro-Baby. (Or, to put it another way, by taking the pro-choice option to be Pro-Baby.) Mind you, I’m all for Republicans becoming Pro-Baby. It’s about time. It’s just a huge problem for them, both having to drop their old, Pro-Life brand and live with this new Pro-Baby one. My suggestion is that Republicans make things so much easier on themselves and drop the whole "Pro-Baby" idea and, instead, just go with --
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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