To help celebrate the first full day of Hanukkah, here are three different versions -- all wonderful in their own way -- of Tom Lehrer's terrific song, "Hanukkah in Santa Monica"...which was originally written (in today's Little Known Fact) for A Prairie Home Companion. I remember the first time I was in Santa Monica and heard the song played during Hanukkah. It was a joy and hilarious. Here's the original version, nicely edited with visuals by the person posting it -- This is fun, especially-animated version performed to the great surprise and pleasure of the audience by the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles. And finally, this is the most enthusiastic and perhaps most-appropriate version of the song from the Klezmer group, Art of Time -- even if singer David Wall twice screws up the same word and blows one of Lehrer's fun, over-the-top rhymes.
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“I never understood wind. I know windmills very much, I have studied it better than anybody. I know it is very expensive. They are made in China and Germany mostly, very few made here, almost none, but they are manufactured, tremendous — if you are into this — tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right?” “So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous, tremendous amount of fumes and everything. You talk about the carbon footprint, fumes are spewing into the air, right spewing, whether it is China or Germany, is going into the air,” No, this wasn't said by someone on a street corner bellowing at the moon. (Or at the wind.) And no, this wasn't said by Don Quixote. And no, it isn't a parody article from The Onion about a deranged speech by Trump. This was from an actual speech given by Trump over the weekend, this past Saturday. My favorite comment on it was a Tweet that wrote if you were sitting next to someone in a bar who said this, you'd likely move two stools over. And the person replying to it said that the bartender would likely ask for the guy's keys and call for cab. This isn't the first time that Trump has made a lunatic speech, though it may be one of the more deranged, taking things to a higher level. It's so hard to know where to begin. I guess the first line is the most obvious. What is so difficult about understand wind? It's air. Not much more than that, air that moves between high pressure areas and low pressure areas. Certainly there is much more about the wind to study, and people have have careers studying it. But to understand the basics, that's about it. And then you have to jump all the way to the very next sentence, "I know windmills very much." While that's reasonably clear, it sounds like something a Hollywood screenwriter would write to create in shorthand that the person speaking is from perhaps Pakistan who knows English well, just not as fluently as a native. And the sentence continues with what is also fairly clear -- I have studied it better than anybody -- though not as clear as likely intended. Does he mean that he has studied windmills for more years than anybody, or that he has been more effective than anybody in what he's studied of windmills. Or is he referring to what he's learned about windmills or just that he's studied them the best but still doesn't understand them, since he just said that he doesn't understand the wind, and it follows that if you don't understand the wind you probably have a hard time understand windmills. For that matter, it's not exactly clear whether "it" -- in "I have studied it better than anybody" -- refers to the wind, which is nuts, or to windmills, which is both nuts and bad grammar. Who knows? By the way, to be clear, I am not attempting to be the grammar police here. But this is the president of the United States, and his giving a public speech that makes no sense, so I think it's proper to try and look at it closely and clear, because when the U.S. president speaks, it matters, word-by-word. Not only for the meaning he wants to present to the world, but also for the sensibility and leadership and foundation of being a role model to Americans, including in some ways most of all to children. It's all important well for seeing his egotism and desperate need to be The Best in Everything. And the delusion, thinking that everybody will believe that he is the world expert on wind (which he says he doesn't understand) or on windmills or whatever he means, ignoring the realty that we know there are actual scientists who have PhD degrees for studying meteorology. Hey, maybe this is why he felt comfortable re-drawing the U.S. Weather Service map with a Sharpie for Hurricane Dorian. And why he was so wrong, given that he says he doesn't understand wind. As for the rest, all that about Germany, China, fumes, carbon footprints, gas, spewing, the world, the universe and all the rest of the gobbledy-gook, God in heavens knows what he means. I suspect even he doesn't. Because the odd thing here that hasn't gotten much attention -- since the headline is how nuts it is -- is that it appears that he's explaining and supporting Climate Change!!! Except that he denies Climate Change. But it's all just so unhinged, “I never understood wind. I know windmills very much, I have studied it better than anybody. On and on, rambling, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel. Like a never-ending... Wait! That's when I realized what this reminded me of. A real-world interpretation of the Oscar-winning song from the original 1968 The Thomas Crown Affair -- "The Windmills of Your Mind." A moody number by Michel Legrand with lyrics by Alan and Marilyn Bergman that are utterly nonsensical, a jumble of word salad that rhymes, though in fairness perhaps effective in creating the film's sense of bewildering uncertainty and total confusion. From the film's soundtrack, this is Noel Harrison (son of Rex). It has now be re-interpreted 51 years later in public by Trump. As we've reached the first night of Hanukkah, that means it's time for my annual tradition of my New Tale of Hanukkah, along with the tale behind it. A New Tale for Hanukkah: The Legend Begins
Several years back, a mixed group of writer friends was discussing religion, when it veered off track a bit. "A bit" as in, someone whimsically bemoaned that Christmas got all the good colors, while Hanukkah was pretty much stuck with blue and white. I'm guessing that this wasn't the kind of debates Spinoza or Moses Maimonides ever got into. Though you never know. Another person decided to raise the holiday spirits, suggesting that since there was an actual, physical limit of primary colors in the world, and therefore nothing could be done about that at this point, perhaps instead a new fable could be created. A few days later, this second fellow and his wife came up with the Twin Dalmatians of Hanukkah, Pinkus and Mordechai. The pups scour the earth to bring hats of joy, filled with treats, to the children on the first night of Hanukkah. Pinkus, the cheerful one, would load them up with tasty goodies, while practical Mordechai with a bell on his collar would leave practical gifts, like slide-rules. The benefits of this new legend were clear to see. For one, it meant that that you could add a whole new color scheme to the Hanukkah celebration palate for displays across the land and trimmings in stores everywhere - black and white, the Dalmatian decorations! And also, Pinkus and Mordechai "pug helpers" would prance throughout shopping centers to the joy and happy laughter of those with childhood in their hearts. And of course, when you're competing with Rudolph, Frosty, the Little Drummer Boy, Scrooge, Magi, Santa, and so many more, it never hurts to have as many fables as possible to pass down through the generations. He and his wife wrote a few verses to show what he meant, and I thought an unfinished poem was no way to celebrate the season of holidays, and therefore completed it. Like all good stories of the season, this one ends with a miracle. My friend went on to create a network TV series a few years later, and then another one for a different network. So, it's good to know that poetry and warm spirit in his heart (along with a touch of lunacy in their heads) had such a positive impact on their lives. He also now has a reputation to protect and by request shall remain nameless. Since 'tis the season, then 'tis appropriate to finally bring the story out of its dusty pages where it has annually passed from glowing face to glowing face of the few lucky children to hear it told, and when a few years back on the Huffington Post I presented the new fable to the world. Okay, maybe there haven't been all that many glowing faces, and maybe it's passed Hanukkah this year (man, it came so early this year!!), but it's the holiday season and time of miracles, so anything's possible. 'Twas the night before Hanukkah, And all through the shul, Not a creature was stirring, The meshpocheh was full With latkes and brisket And kugel and more. Through the heads of the kinder Spun dreidles galore. But I in my yalmulka, And she in her wig, Settled down in our beds With warm milk (but no pig). When up on the roof I heard such a bark That I yelled "Oy, gevalt" (To the goyim that's "Hark"). And I knew with a jingle, Then a second great "woof," That jolly ol' Pinkus Was up on our roof. Though t'wasn't just Pinkus, But Mordechai too, The Hanukkah Puppies-- Those Dalmatian Jews. So I sprang to my feet And quick threw on a shmotta. And I saw our kids' hats Were now filled with a lotta: Toys and candy from Pinkus And from Mordechai, socks. And for me and the Mrs. Some bagels and lox. The dogs silently worked, As if studying Torah (Though Pinkus got playful). Mordechai lit the menorah. Then straight up the chimney Pinkus leapt from the floor. Mordechai politely went out the front door. It's hard to explain The joyous nakhes I felt As I saw the Dalmatians Go to hand out more gelt. And I heard Pinkus bark, "Kids can have all they want if." "Happy Hanukkah," said Mordechai. "And to all a Good Yontif."
From the archives. This week's contestant is Beatrice "Bee" Newman from Kapa'a, Hawaii. The short version is that it was a washout for me. Though I did come close on the composer. My guess was the same as the contestant, composer Bruce Adolphe said "You couldn't have been closer, and it could have been that person, it's that close," but it wasn't. As for the song, it's hugely known, very famous, but wonderfully hidden, so I didn't get it. There's one passage that might make it clear to some, but I just wasn't focusing enough to get it.
As I've mentioned previously, The West Wing always seemed to do especially good episodes for Thanksgiving, but also for Christmas. This may be their best ending of a Christmas show, one called "In Excelsis Deo." Unfortunately I can't embed it on this site, but you can watch it here.
Today's guest contestant on the 'Not My Job' segment of the NPR game quiz show Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me! is relief pitcher for the World Series-winning Washington Nationals, Sean Doolittle. The interview with host Peter Sagal is extremely pleasant, though a pretty straight-forward sports conversation -- however it takes a fun, albeit slight diversion when talking about "walk-up songs," and has several amusing interruptions by Paula Poundstone who clearly is not a sports follower.
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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