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Decent Quality Since 1847

Your Vote Counts -- No Matter How Often They Decide to Count It

9/27/2021

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​I don’t have all that much to add to the coverage of Arizona’s Cyber Ninja “fraudit.”  Whatever they found, good or bad, was utterly meaningless, since this was an official, professional audit much the same way a can of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti-Os are the official food of Italy.
 
Still, considering that this fraudit was almost fully bought and paid for not only by those on the right wing, but specifically by the far-right OANN TV network, and the results didn’t just come back as “Trump won 100% of the votes,” but actually gave about 300 more votes to Joe Biden is a stunning result.  That was a surprise twist ending that made the finale to The Sixth Sense seem obvious. 
 
It is not especially surprising that Trump looked at the results of losing by 300 additional votes to be a vindication and victory.  After all, if you’re not going to accept the results of an actually-regulated and officially certified federal election and instead claim victory that you lost, why on earth should we think he would accept losing in a state’s fake audit for which not only can nothing be verified, but was so screwed up that the state decommissioned all its voting machine since they were breached?  Of course, he could claim victory – he’s a delusional, fascist con man whose only interest is to sew disorder and confusion.
 
It’s also not terribly that most of his far-right supporters, including most elected Republicans in Arizona, claim to believe the results vindicate them somehow.  They’ve already shown their willingness to not accept reality, so why start now. 
 
Because the Cyber Ninja guy was so totally inexperienced, there were issues he didn’t understand about voting, and so raised what he considered unanswered anomalies.  And that’s good enough for Trump and Trump supporters.  Never mind that just because you don’t understand something, that doesn’t mean there’s not actual answers to your bewilderment.  It’s sort of like a third-grader not understanding why eight times seven equals 56 and therefore questions the validity of math.  But the Arizona election officials were expected befuddlement by the Cyber Ninja (after all, his fraudit which was supposed to take three weeks took five months) and fact-check these supposed “anomalies” in real-time online as he presented them in public.
 
Of course, the easy answer to every claim of faux-uncertainty by Trump and his minions which they claim vindicated them was – “The results from the guy who Republicans themselves paid were that Joe Biden won by about 300 more votes over Trump than before.”
 
And when they bring up some other “anomaly,” the simple answer to that, once again, was –
 
“The results from the guy who Republicans themselves paid were that Joe Biden won by about 300 more votes over Trump than before.”
 
And again and again, each time -- “The results from the guy who Republicans themselves paid were that Joe Biden won by about 300 more votes over Trump than before.”
 
There’s no point in refuting their “uncertainties.”  Not only did the Arizona election officials do that already, but these are people who clearly and repeatedly have shown they don’t care about facts and reality.  And when you can make up uncertainties, then you’ll keep making them up and no facts or reality will ever satisfy you, ever.  Ever.
 
And so the only real answer to anything brought up is the very basic, very simple outcome –
 
“The results from the guy who Republicans themselves paid were that Joe Biden won by about 300 more votes over Trump than before.”
 
The road to how the Cyber Ninja guy got there doesn’t matter.  It’s all made up anything.  But the destination was clear, because we all know the destination.  Joe Biden won Arizona, and Trump lost.
 
Yes, other red states will try this, too.  And it’s horrible and divisive and brings about a lack of trust.  But it seems unlikely that other red states aren’t going to hire someone less competent than the Cyber Ninja – because there aren’t many people in this field less competent.  And if he couldn’t turn the results of the election in the state – because we know the results, they were recounted and certified – then whoever else these red states higher aren’t going to get different results.  Because we know the results in all these close states, they were recounted and certified.
 
And in the end, as much divisiveness as this sews, it will also keep reinforcing that Trump lost, over and over and over again.  And it will reinforce how empty, reprehensible, foolish and fascist the Republicans pushing these fraudits are.  Which in the end, should come back to haunt them.
 
Happy Halloween, a few weeks early.
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    Author

    Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

    Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, and two best-selling novels, is a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and was for
    the Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he has a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.



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