You're Ted to Me

I have this image of Ted Cruz (R-Cancun) going so wildly over the top, in some pandering rant to play to his conspiracy-minded base that he decides to take on the last GOP family-friendly target and predicts that Disney cartoons will be going to hell.  Actually, knowing Cruz – who read from a children’s book during the Senate confirmation hearing of Judge Jackson Brown and basically accused her of supporting kiddie porn (the latest Republican Crazy Charge of the day) – even accusing of Disney of going into porn for children.  No, let’s go further – this is Ted Cruz, after all, so there’s no bottom – animated porn for children.  No, even worse, with Mickey Mouse.  Hey, no, seriously, the GOP went after Mr. Potato Head, the Muppets and Dr. Seuss, so why not Mickey?  And it’s pretty clear that they are stuck on kiddie porn.  And this is Ted Cruz.

So, there’s your image.  Ted Cruz saying, "I think in every episode now, Disney is going to have, you know, Mickey and Pluto going at it.”  Okay, yes, I know you’re cringing – so am I, just typing that, but stick with me.  Because Ted Cruz would also try to soften your hearts even after that to try and show you what a heart-warming family man he is – hoping you forget him throwing his young daughter under the bus for why he went to Cancun during the Texas winter storm disaster.

"But it's just like, come on, guys, these are kids,” he’d say aw-shucks beseechingly, just like he’s your kindly buddy.  “"Like, I'm a dad, it used to be that you could put your kids on the Disney channel and be like, all right, something innocuous will happen."

But that’s Ted Cruz.  Even though the Disney Channel is still totally innocuous, of course, and we all know it’s still totally innocuous – with shows like Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Big City Greens, Raven’s Home, Sydney to the Max Disney’s Magic Bake-Off, The Owl House, Phineas and Ferb, Muppet Babies, Bunk’d, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mickey Mouse Mixed-Up Adventures, Mickey Mouse Funhouse and Mickey Mouse – it’s near impossible to deny the image of Ted Cruz positioning something so repulsive almost like it has already happened, since he says he’s pining for the good old days – y’know, that days when Disney wasn’t making kiddie porn cartoons of Mickey Mouse and Goofy “going at it.”

And I say it’s impossible to deny the image of Ted Cruz saying this – not because I’m being hyperbolic and just an obnoxious lib – but because Ted Cruz actually said this.  Almost verbatim.  Really.  Those are quotes.  And it’s not only something taken out of context or something that can be denied…because he said it on his own podcast.  And…and…it’s on video.

​It's easy to dismiss what Ted Cruz as “Oh, that’s just Ted being Ted.”  Because when someone is that repulsive so often, we tend to roll our eyes and move on.  But if someone far more responsible and respectable and decent said it, we’d be incensed.  And we’d be right to be.  So, Ted Cruz doesn’t get let off the hook just because he says this kind of tripe all the time.  Just because it’s his “brand,” doesn’t mean it’s not a repugnant brand.

And as sick as his whole rant is, what I find the worst about it is that he positions it – not just that it might possibly happened (which is pathetic on every level), but pretty much as if he wants you to think it’s already happened.  When someone says, “It used to be that you could…”, the clear intent is to suggest it’s not that way anymore.  That the days when you could “put your kids on the Disney channel and be like, all right, something innocuous will happen” are long gone, because now, “innocuous” is a thing of the past since now you never know what objectionable thing will happen.

The only thing you know will never happen is Disney getting into kiddie porn and making cartoons with Mickey and Goofy “going at it.”  I was about to go into a long explanation why it won’t, but then I stopped – because explaining would give the sick, pathetic, irresponsible charge by a United States Senator credibility.  And also because, unlike the way Ted Cruz clearly looks at his base who he knows will believe him, I have far too much respect for people reading this.  People who don’t know to have it explained to them why Disney is never, ever, not ever, ever ever never getting into animated kiddie porn and having Mickey Mouse “go at it” anywhere, as in “anyway,” and most especially not on its crown jewel the Disney Channel.

Again, this is from a sitting U.S. Senator on his own podcast, sinking to a level of creepy slimey muck that his base is supposedly outraged by, but clearly eat up.

And Ted Cruz doesn't get a pass because he's Ted Cruz and we all know that this is what Ted Cruz does.  He gets repudiated for it.

But this isn’t just Ted Cruz.  This is today’s Republican Party.  They’ve glommed onto child pornography from the initial days of QAnon and are making it their standard.  But then, when you’re empty and have nothing to offer than Insurrection to overthrow democracy, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.

On Monday, Rachel Maddow did a story about how when Putin wants to discredit his opponents, he has them charged with…well, yes, you guessed it…child pornography and then throws them in prison to rot.  That the Republican Party has taken this page out of playbook – considering their leader Trump has spent five years sucking up to Putin and calling the butcher war criminal a “genius” for attacking democratic Ukraine – should not come as a surprise either.

That’s who today’s Republican Party is.  And they can scream about The Libs saying such mean things about them, but it’s all there on the record.  And on video.