What Could Possibly Go Wrong...?

Before the Democratic Virtual Convention, my periodically-mentioned and wildly-opinionated friend (making me look like a piker) Myles Berkowitz made the observation that he thought the "virtual" speeches with no audience would likely work better for Democrats than having cheering crowds, since it would allow the message to get out more directly.  I think in some cases that turned out to be true, more than I expected, but not all of them.  Some speeches would have been helped by having rousing moments.

But I do think Myles is spot-on correct in the reverse.  I think the Republican Virtual Convention is not only going to be hurt by not having cheering crowds, it's going to be deeply hurt.

Consider:  regardless of what you think of the messages of each party, Democratic Conventions speak about inclusion and tree-hugger "touchy-feely" issues that given them the reputation of bleeding-heart liberals.  Those don't require cheers and dropping balloons, they require heart-drenched speeches and maybe someone with a guitar singing "Kum-bayah."  Republican Conventions speak about waving the flag, explaining why Democrats are radical commies and how libs are going take away your guns and ruin America the Beautiful.  Think back to Trump's Inauguration Speech which is known for its Dystopian View of Life, ending with former Republican president George W. Bush turning to Michelle Obama and saying, "Well, that was some weird sh*t."

But it's more than just dystopian speeches.  This year, the RVC is going to have to explain why what everyone know isn't true is true.  They're going to have to explain, despite over 180,000 Americans dead, sheltering at home, children not having school, everyone needing to social distance and wear masks, no national testing, and Europe and most of the rest of the world getting control of the coronavirus while blocking Americans from traveling to their countries that Trump and Republicans have done a great job handling the pandemic.  They're going to have to explain, despite 55 million new applications for unemployment, businesses going bankrupt, and the GDP plummeting at an annual rate of a ghastly 33 percent that the economy is just great.  They're going to have to explain, despite social protests that have rocked America, that Trump has done more for black people than any other president in history.  They're going to have to explain, despite record heat this summer, massive wildfires throughout California, and two hurricanes about to crash into the United States, that Climate Change is fake science.

When you have to tell the American people something is true when they know in every corpuscle of their body and in everything they see and understand that it isn't true, and when you are telling people a dystopian view of America and want everyone to think you're describing the glory of all that is grand -- you need cheering crowds.  Need them.  You need people weeping with joy in a frenzy like at a religious revival.  You need the band playing the most heart-soaring marches whose music wipes out the words.  You need those balloons.  Need them, need it all.

That's people you're trying to convince the people at home.  You know you have the delegates -- they're delegates, after all.  But you need viewer at home to be just as convinced that everything you said is probably true.  And not just true, but pretty wonderful given all that cheering, frenzy, marches and balloons.  If the speaker says something that seems way too dark and makes zero sense to what you know, what you are sure of -- but there are people cheering it wildly, well...maybe they know something you don't.  Maybe it's better to joint to crowd, join the party.

But without the cheering, without the frenzy, without the signs, without the hats, without the band music, without the balloons...all you have at home as you listen is -- "Hunhh??"  That and, "Well, that's some weird sh*t."

You're going to have four days of Trump rambling on -- either delivering prepared speeches he terrible at delivering or going off-script into who-knows-where land about what a great job he's done despite all evidence and how Joe Biden is crazy, slow, and the most-radical communist in the world, and by the way, you might want to try bleach or listen to the pillow guy or that beautiful alien DNA doctor about demon seed.  Four days of that.  And listen to Don Jr., and Eric and Ivanka and Tiffany all telling you about how awful Hunter Biden is, and Melania extolling the beauty of her new football field that replaced the Rose Garden.  And some other family members, though I suspect his sister and niece won't be among them.  And Rudy Giuliani, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, the couple from Missouri who were arrested on felony charges for illegal use of rifles at protesters (really) Karen Pence, Kellyanne Conway, Franklin Graham, Kimberly Guilfoyle -- girlfriend of Don Jr., Ben Carson, Nicholas Sandmann -- described as "student who sued news outlets after confrontation with Native American activist" and Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship.  

Imagine these speeches -- and more -- for four days without cheering crowds, wild frenzy, marching music, confetti, banners and balloons.

And we haven't even got to that Democrats had three month to plan their virtual convention because they knew a real one was unsafe, and Republicans have had about three weeks.

Maybe it will go great.  My money is on -- "Well, that was some weird sh*t."