The White Smoke Flies

The news must be hell for people in St. Louis.  Since the headlines now read: 

"Cardinals pick Chicagoan to be Pope."  

And --  "Cardinals declare Chicagoan to be closer to God than them."

In other news, a transcript has been released of the campaign statement made in conclave by the cardinal from Chicago, who was later elected Pope.  He said:

"Vote for whoever you want.  Just be sure to vote early and often."

Finally, the official voting results have been announced. Of the 138 votes cast, he received 247.