The Schu Drops

On Sunday, the Democrats’ Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was asked on CNN about Trump’s continued attacks on Harvard, including threatening to withhold $2 billion in funding.  Mr. Schumer responded that, as a demonstration of his opposition leadership, “We sent him a very strong letter just the other day asking eight very strong questions."

As yet, the mainstream media has not reported the details of the letter.  However, through my limited, though occasionally helpful sources, I actually did track down a copy.  I post it below --

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Dear Sir:

My name is Charles Schumer, and I am currently serving as Minority Leader in the United States Senate.  I am senior senator representing the Great State of New York, which is where I understand you were born, before you moved to Florida.  (I have several friends who live in Florida, too, though just for the winter.  They say that “Any more than three months, and it’s like living in hell.  And that’s before Trump got here.”  Their words, not mine.)

I am writing to express my strong objection to you saying you will freeze funds for Harvard University.  Even though you’re now in Florida, you know how problematic freezing is.  Well, it’s just as bad when you freeze funds.  I can only say that as strongly as possible.  If you’re not be aware, this money is largely used for medical research, rather than for things like students and DEI programs, and therefore your decision would harmful to many people.  I strongly urge you to reconsider. 

I know that you have said you will freeze funds for other colleges, as well.  (See above re: freezing.)  Mark my words:  you should not do this.  Not.  It is wrong.  I can only repeat that as strongly as possible.

There are several other issues my staff and constituents would like me to address, strongly.  Since I know you don’t like to read, I won’t go into them here.  Perhaps therefore it would be better for us to meet, if that can fit into your schedule.  I strongly request we do this.  When you get back from the Vatican, and have caught up from jet lag, please have someone from your office let me know.

It is my strong, urgent hope that you will take this letter as seriously as it is intended.

In the meantime, I have eight strong questions for you.  I know that five questions is usually the standard limit for you, but I have eight.  That’s how serious I am.  And how serious the situation that has driven me to write you is.  I very strongly and deeply hope, therefore, that you will answer all of them.  And no “Taking the fifth.”

Why on earth did you wear a blue suit for the funeral of Pope Francis?

Has anyone on your staff told you a president may not be elected to three terms in office?

Why did you move to Florida?

Is JD Vance as awkward a human even in private when there isn’t a camera on him?

Now that you are 78, have you ever shot a round of golf with a score under your age?

What’s the deal with Lindsey Graham?

Did you know that my distant cousin is actually Amy Schumer?

Do you know who Amy Schumer is?

Thank you again for your extremely serious attention to this letter.  I must insist again that I hope you understand how truly strong I am about it all.  Truly.

By the way, when you’re next in Florida, I don’t know if you have dinner plans with Gov. DeSantis and his wife, but if not yet, I suggest you set them up soon.   You’ve been out of the country, so might not know that she appears to be in legal trouble, and it seems like she could be going to jail soon.  (Take that, Florida…Ha, ha.)

Sincerely,

The Honorable Charles E. Schumer

(D-NY)

Minority Leader, U.S. Senate