The Fine Art of Political Conversation

Last week, I posted a brief comment on my Facebook page with a link to an article I’d written here about two expert analysts commenting on what they thought the Department of Justice was doing in its investigation of Trump.  It got a fair amount of interesting discussion from people about whether they agreed with the analysis or not.

It also got a reply from someone I knew from childhood, though haven’t seen since those distant days.  (We’ve traded a few online messages in the past couple years, though not much.)   He wrote, oddly –

I thought the exchange worth repeating here, not as being indicative of all such political differences these days, or even as the quintessential example of crossing paths with someone you knew from many decades before and how time impacts who we were when much younger.  But because it overlaps both, and provides a small look into how I decided to deal with the unfortunate situation.  Your mileage may vary.   

As I said, there was a discussion taking place on my Facebook page about the DOJ investigating Trump, that was the topic at hand, when in the midst of that, came this post that was more than a bit out of the blue --

“How do you guys feel about 7.5% inflation”

It was clearly a blatant attempt to change the subject away from a discussion of the insurrection and divert attention away from Trump, in a snarky attempt to slam President Biden.  Having no intention to have the discussion hijacked, but wanting to be polite and not ignore someone I knew from my youth, I replied – “I feel Trump and his team's effort to overthrow the government, which is the topic of the article being discussed here, is worse.”

I hoped that would make my point of view clear, and that I wasn’t going to change the direction of the conversation.  And so, the DOJ discussion continued as normal – until he wrote again, once more off-topic, by asking another “question,” trying to put the onus on me, rather than voice his own opinion on the subject at hand.  He wrote – “what do you think matters to the average American ?”

I realized I could ignore it, in which case – since he’d already made two interruptions -- he’d likely keep disrupting the conversation with more questions, along with perhaps the added suggestion that I was avoiding answering because I had no answer. Or I could respond, but then that would move the conversation away from what was at hand to what he wanted to talk about.  And as I said, my preference is not to ignore people – but given that I find nothing endearing about anyone trying to normalize Trump in his white supremacist, malignant narcissist, criminal, pathologically-lying con man fascist attempt to destroy the country and democracy (to put it politely…), I had to figure out the best thing to do.  Whether this was, in fact, the best way to go forth or not, I did decide to reply, and this is how:

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My, you sure are unrelenting in trying hard to change the subject from Trump and the insurrection and DOJ investigation.

Okay, I will answer your question because you keep asking and I try to be polite -- and because we've known each other for 60+ years (though haven't seen each other for probably 55...) -- but I won’t debate my answer because it is totally off-topic from what's being discussed here and appears only to be an attempt to change the issue here from the DOJ investigation of Trump and his team trying to foment an insurrection and overthrow the government. So, after answering, we’ll be going back here to the actual topic at hand -- because I will not have my own page hijacked by a blatant diversion. If you want to raise the question separately, as its own separate topic, that's fine. I'll go into even more detail than my reply below and ask some very harsh and blunt questions back on my own. So, that said, here below is my answer:

I think inflation is not an isolated issue but intertwined with the economy overall, as just one part of the economy, and as such 6 million new jobs in one year is remarkable, far better than the rest of the world. I think just 4% unemployment is tremendous. I think the GDP rate of 5.5% is absolutely amazing, especially in a pandemic! Child poverty has even dropped by 25%. And personal income is up, though that’s not felt as much because it’s balanced right now by inflation, however inflation is expected to lower in the second half of the year. Inflation is too high right now, but the cause of inflation is related to a great many factors – most notably by the government infusing highly-needed capital into the economy during a pandemic to assist struggling families with the $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan (that Trump and Republicans could have done to help "average Americans," and all Americans, but didn’t), as well as from the highly-needed, LONG overdue by decades $1.2 trillion Infrastructure Bill that Trump kept promising and promising to pass but never did -- as well as from the scarcity of product due to supply chain issues caused, in large part, by the pandemic worldwide interrupting production and the lack of the Trump administration addressing both the pandemic and supply chain here. And I also think Trump and his team trying to overthrow the government and bring fascism to the country is far, far, far worse than temporary inflation which most economists think will be lowered by the second half of the year, while fascism will forever destroy the country.

(Side note: Would there be as much inflation without the $3.1 trillion investments? Probably not -- but people's lives were drowning, and without the investments the alternative would have been disastrous to the country. If a person is bleeding to death, we'd be horrified if a doctor said, "Well, we could save the guy, but it would cost the hospital a lot of money, so...never mind, screw him." Though that's the Trump and GOP way.  So, when people know what they’re doing and care, money gets spent to help the far-greater good.)

As to your second question about "average Americans": if America goes from a democracy to fascist, which is what today's GOP has quite literally become and is trying to impose on the country, most Americans -- whether "average" or otherwise -- will care about that the most by far for many, many generations to come.

But it's a diversionary question. If you asked "average Americans" who are driving to grandma's house for dinner but get a flat tire what they care about MOST at that very moment, it would be getting their tire fixed. If you phrased the question differently, though, and instead asked if they cared MOST in the world about their tire or the future health and safety of their children, they'd say the future health and safety every single time. They'd said the tire is easily fixed with a spare or by calling the auto club. But their children's future health and safety is their whole world.

So, there. That's my answer. As I said, you asked for an answer, and I was polite and gave it -- but I gave an answer, I did not open the floor to a debate. There was another topic being discussed here -- the DOJ investigation of the insurrection, Trump and his team. You don't get to divert that. If you want to debate other issues, that's fine: raise them separately, either here or on your own Facebook page. Just know that I'll be happy to ask a lot of harsh questions in return, which I would expect to be answered with as much detailed thoughtfulness as I gave you, rather than "well, what about..." diversions.

But if you ask any further off-topic question on this particular thread here to divert attention, it will be ignored. As this should have been. But I answered anyway.

I don't expect you to agree with one word I said. You may, but I don't expect it. What I do expect is for you to appreciate that I did answer.

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​ADDENDUM.  I was going to leave this article at that, but since there’s a bit of an update, I figured I might as well include it though won’t go into detail.  I was not shocked that he ignored responding to what I wrote and giving his own opinion – my experience is that those who qualify as “dittoheads” don’t actually express opinions but repeat quotes from others.  To my surprise, though, despite my repeatedly saying not to, he yet again asked another passive-aggressive question about President Biden to change the subject.

I did decide to reply.  However, my reply was even much more scathing.  I also repeated he could bring up his opinions on a separate thread, and added that I would then happily ask questions of my own (of which I laid down a very long list of examples). And said that if he continued trying to hijack my page, I’d block him.

I also heard in private from several mutual childhood friends who noted that this was, in fact, who this person had sadly become, and that trying to change the subject was, in fact, the way he operated.

By the way, it continued on beyond even this, in private Direct Messages, with him playing the “I’m only asking questions because gee, I really wanted to know… and “Why are you so upset at me?” victim cards.  In fact, since he also said he already knew how I would respond, that put just a wee bit of disingenuousness into the whole heart-rending “oh, gosh, gee, I only wanted to know...” gambit…

I’d feel worse about this if it was someone I’d stayed in touch with over the decades.  Though sadly, that’s the way of too much of the world today. But this wasn’t that.  What I felt bad about most, though, was that anybody was so far-right they’d because supportive of a fascist political party.