Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie

Insurrectionist Rep. Jim Banks (R-IN) says that the movie Barbie is endangering national security.  Which is pretty serious a pretty serous impact, as far as movies go, especially those based on toy dolls.  Ted Cruz (R-TX) even wonders if Barbie is communist.  Moreover, Rep. Mike Waltz (R-FL) slammed Barbie as “yet another disgraceful example of Hollywood being in the pocket of communist China.”  And Home economics major Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)  accused Barbie of “bending to Beijing.”

​Republicans are on the warpath, looking out to help make American lives better.  Again.

I am not making this up.  It is not an article in the satire publication, The Onion.  It is not a sketch on Saturday Night Live.  This is real Republican politics.

It is truly my fondest hope that Republicans follow the lead of Rep. Banks (and these other Republicans) and make the "Barbie National Security Threat" the cornerstone of the GOP's 2024 election.

Seriously.  After all, if Jim Banks actually thinks the movie Barbie is a "national security" threat, as he says -- which is a very major charge, we must admit -- then putting it in the GOP platform for all Republican candidates to campaign is almost a must.  It "endangers national security," he insists.  How can  you not make that a top campaign issue, if you say that, and truly believe it.  Indeed, if he doesn't push the party to stop what he calls a literally dangerous movie to the safety of America (and Ted Cruz, Mike Waltz and Marsha Blackburn all call "communist"), then he, Jim Banks, would be the national security threat.  

(Which, in fairness, given his active support of the Jan. 6 Insurrection, wouldn't change things much because Jim Banks already is.)

And if, in fact, Banks doesn't actually think the Barbie movie really "endangers national security," but is ringing out the alarm to make people erroneously believe it does, then that is almost an abuse of power to the degree of making him a national security threat for that.

Which doesn't change things much because Insurrectionist Jim Banks already is.

I must admit, though, that there is one positive in all this.  After all, if the GOP isn't willing to consider Trump a national security threat for taking classified defense documents and knowingly refusing to return them, while showing them to people without clearance and also plotting to overturn the 2020 election and overthrow the government, it's very comforting to know that there is at least something the Republican Party does consider "endangering national security," reaching the critical level of the Barbie movie.

So, add Barbie to the list of important issues that the Republican Party has been crying out in moral indignation as critical to Americans for the past several years -- along with Mr. Potato Head, Dr. Seuss, Goofy, and The Muppets.  Not to mention Disney World, the Happiest Place on Earth.

By the way, the Republican Party "outrage" over Barbie centers around an issue that is known as the "Nine Dash Line."  This is a boundary that China claims gives them expansive "historic rights" in the China Sea, an area which encompasses islands and archipelagos that are also claimed by several other Southeast Asian countries -- and that an international tribunal at The Hague has ruled does not give China those rights and is therefore invalid.

And here below is the offending "national security threat" screenshot that Republicans want Americans to be horrified over in the Barbie movie.

​Yes, that map.

And yes, that is a map.  You can tell because at the top of the image it says in capital letters, "WORLD MAP."  To make sure you know.

And yes, too, I'm aware that Vietnam has banned the Barbie movie as a result of this...well, childish, infantile "map."  But that's on them, and it's only because they don't like a cartoonish map, not that they claim the Barbie movie is a national security threat to them.  (Most likely because those in authority are adults.) All that Vietnam says is that it's  “offensive political imagery.”  In fact, no other country in the China Sea area has yet banned the film (though the Philippines is reviewing it).  And I hardly think that even today's Republican Party believes that American foreign policy and national security interests should be driven by Vietnam.  And by crayon maps in movies based on toy dolls. 

Though, in fairness, this is today's Republican Party we're talking about, so I withhold absolutely certainty about that.

In the real world, there are issues that are actual, national security threats to the safety of the United Sates (including those mentioned) that are real, massive and significant.  And then, there are also issues in the world that are just cartoonish, roll-your-eyes in microscopic disbelief teensy.

And once again, when you don't have serious issues you stand for, the Republican Party goes for the shrimps.