Glee Clubbed

There was a headline on RawStory yesterday: "'Evil will be shaken down': Gleeful evangelicals warn God is vengeful after Trump trial"

There is a parable you may have heard.  But even if so, it's such a good one that it stands out even on repeating.

There was a massive flood, and a man was caught in his home.  A police car drove by, and the officer yelled out to the man to get in quick and save himself.  "No," the man replied, "God is good.  I believe in God.  God will save me."  And the car drove off.

The storm was so great that the streets soon became flooded, and eventually a rowboat came by.  The rower yelled out to the man to get in and save himself.  "No," the man called back, "God is good.  I believe in God.  God will save me."  And the boat rowed off.

The flood grew so torrential that the waters soon filled his home, and the man had to crawl onto his roof.  As the rain poured down, a helicopter hovered overhead.  The pilot lowered a rope ladder and shouted down to the man for him to climb up and save himself.  "No," the man hollered back through the tempest, "God is good.  I believe in God.  God will save me."  And the helicopter flew off.

Eventually, the storm became so great that the man fell off into the raging water and drowned.  When he reached heaven, the man was distraught and coming upon God, he and angrily said to Him, "God, You are good.  I believe in you.  I was certain You would save me.  Why did you let me drown?"

And God said to the man, "Let you drown?  I sent you a police car, a rowboat and a helicopter.  What are you doing here?!!"

What these evangelicals miss in their self-induced, blind glee is the likelihood that Trump's trial convicting him of a felony -- AND his trial finding him liable for rape AND his trial finding him guilty of business fraud...are, through their unrelenting repetition and ever-increasing finding of guilt, God's vengeance.

First, Trump lost in court to E. Jean Carroll and was fined three million dollars.  Then, he lost again to her and this time was fined an additional $85 million.  Then, he was convicted at yet another trial and fined a massive $454 million.  And just now, Trump was convicted of a felony -- and actually risks jail.

Apparently, evangelicals -- who believe in their deepest souls the infallibility of God -- seem to think that God has screwed up and not only failed to get Trump off each time, but also failed to reek vengeance after the first trial loss...and second trial loss...and third trial loss...and fourth trial loss.  One would like, for an evangelical, they would assume God did know what He was doing, and increasing the penalties each time was His way of showing it.  His way of showing his vengeance against Trump.  His way of sending a police car.  Rowboat.  And helicopter.  To show that this was His way to protect and save society.  And if evangelicals want to believe so devoutly in God, yet miss the signs He is sending them, they can be as gleeful as they want waiting for God's vengeance, all the while missing what's right in front of them. 

And as they end up in Purgatory waiting to be sent to Hell, and ask God why didn't He save Trump...and save them, He will answer --

"I sent you a false prophet who couldn't ever once name a Bible verse he liked.  Who panhandled his own personal Bibles being "the only Bible endorsed by Donald Trump," as if his endorsement made it better than Mine.  And who couldn't explain his relationship to Me but instead made it all about himself and how people love him.  What were you doing following him??!!!