Dancing the Con Con
My favorite story right now is not the $453 million judgement against Trump for business fraud, but that he is selling $400 sneakers. It's high on the list of the stupidest things a presidential candidate can do.
After all, for starters, I'm not sure what adviser suggested Trump go to ‘Sneaker Con,’ but if two words individually describe him perfectly, those are high on the list. Sneaker. Con.
But there’s so much more -- the concept of hawking sneakers just screams out "Cheap!!" I know that some athletic shoes are incredibly expensive. But first, those come from major shoe brands with high reputations and lines endorsed by experienced athletes, like most prominently Air Jordans. While these come from...well, god-knows what company -- or where -- endorsed by a guy who got out of Vietnam for having bone spurs. Who sits in a golf cart to drive him around the course. And second, those popular ones are "athletic shoes" or "basketball shoes," which carry a bit of cachet. These from Trump are hardly competing with Dr. Martens, let alone Jimmy Choo. They're being sold specifically as "sneakers," which is more likely to conjure up images of Keds. Or perhaps Dr. Scholl's.
If anything shines a light on huckster and desperate for a presidential candidate, pushing Trump Sneakers on his gullible base is it.
And the video that's making its way around social media of Trump hawking his wares at "Sneaker Con" (again, I can't tell you how much I love that perfect name) makes him look like he's a traveling peddler come to town on his rounds. It makes you wonder what's next? Perhaps a late-night infomercial, or maybe a guest spot on the Home Shopping Network. "We've only got 90 seconds to go, folks, before these babies sell out."
And that's another thing. There are notices on social media about how the the initial supply of the $400 sneakers have "SOLD OUT!" First of all, who knows if they actually sold out? Second, who knows how few pairs of sneaker were even made available to sell initially. [UPDATE: Thanks to Don Friedman who points out that the product disclaimer states there will only be a paltry 1,000 sneakers in the initial limited edition!) Third, the issue isn't whether they actually "sold out," but that a presidential candidate is hawking sneakers. And fourth, man, is "sold out" a terrible image for Trump -- a man who recently admitted on TV to selling his services to China!! "SOLD OUT" is as bad as him being at "Sneaker Con."
And the important, as well as funny, thing is, it almost doesn't matter if people buy them or not. That's because the optics of a man running for president hawking sneakers -- and showing up at "Sneaker Con" (which can't be said enough) -- are dismal. It's like, how soon will he be pushing a line of kitchen knives or perhaps a TrumpPillow?
By the way, it's not just going to an event called "Sneaker Con" that is so clueless, but did you catch the official name of the gaudy, gold-colored upper-end $400 models mentioned in the photo above? They're called the "Never Surrender High-Tops." This from a guy who literally surrendered four times to court officials last year, each time he was indicted.
Further, while there is no evidence where these sneakers are made, which also means that -- for all we know -- they were not made in the U.S.A. Indeed, for all we know they were made in China. Maybe not. But the point is that putting out this product without making clear where they are made only serves to foolishly invite such valid suspicions. All the more so since Trump himself has publicly said, as noted, that he has been paid millions to provide "services" to China. In fact, in a famous video from when he appeared on the old Late Night with David Letterman, after initially slamming China, his clothing line was shown to be made in Bangladesh... and China.
Even more hilarious is that it appears to be that the sneakers aren't even made yet! The product's disclaimer says that they're not expected to be shipped for at least five months!
Oh, and once they are finally manufactured and show up (assuming they do), the disclaimer also states that product images “are for illustration purposes only and may not be an exact representation of the product.” So, who knows what you might get for your $400. Not to mention that the disclaimer also states, "We are not liable for any delays in shipment."
Now imagine that when the sneakers are finally released in five months or perhaps eight months or longer that there's a problem with the product or that people are unhappy with how they actually look, and feel conned. If that happens...it will come during the presidential election. But far worse, if the sneakers don't show up at all, and people feel conned, feel cheated by the company (which they won't see as "the company," but rather as cheated by Trump), that would be horrific coming during the height of the presidential election. No matter how clearly he insists it was stated in fine print that the company, that he Trump is "not liable for any delays." So, for Trump to have taken the risk for something this utterly stupid and meaningless...when the goal is to be election president of the United States!! ...that is just lunatic. On so many levels.
And most notable is that, once the sneakers do arrive (assuming that even occurs, at least before the election), the red soles may well be a trademark infringement of the very expensive Christian Louboutin shoes! And lest one think such an action is unlikely, this CNN article from last November about the company notes, "Louboutin has engaged in multiple complex trademark infringement court cases around the world."
But it's so much more hilarious, lunatic and unnecessarily risky than all this.
After all, the money that people spend to buy these sneakers is money they won’t be given to Republican candidates! That's $400 a pop for the "top of the line" sneakers, but even $200 for the Trump starter sneakers. But it's even funnier than that -- after all, this is clearly just a licensing deal for Trump, he isn't going into the cobbler business and is not manufacturing the sneakers himself. That means 80% of the money that MAGOPs are spending on the sneakers is going to the sneaker company -- not to Republican candidates. Not even to Trump!
There's a hilarious video from "Sneaker Con" of a guy so-proudly holding a pair of the $400 sneakers that Trump autographed which he won at an auction for a mere $9,000. I have this vision of the conversation when "the winner" got home.
"Honey, look at what I got!"
"Oh, God, get those things out of my house. I don't want something you rummaged out of the trash."
"No, I bought them. They were $9,000."
"Are you insane?? I'm...I'm so angry I can't even..."
"Trump signed them."
"So, you mean they're marked up and can't be returned?? Can you get our money back? Our money. Ours. We have bills."
"They're a collector's item."
"The only thing that junk will collect is dust. Who scammed you?"
"I got them at 'Sneaker Con.'"
"Of course you did. 'Sneaker Con'?!! Sneaker. Con. That didn't give you a hint?!"
Oh, and it's worth noting something else that's too perfect for this $9,000 winning bid of this grift. The guy who bought them is Roman Sharf, CEO of Luxury Bazaar, who was born in Russia. (Yes, really. Though he lives in Philadelphia now.) And had been a Vice President of -- wait for it... -- Deutsche Bank! The bank that was fined $186 million last year for improper money-laundering controls. And which loaned Trump hundreds of millions of dollars which was at the heart of Trump's fraud suit for which he was just convicted and fined $453 million including interest. (Yes, really.)
Between this and Trump hawking sneakers at "Sneaker Con," which won't be available for at least five months (if ever?), it doesn't get much more hilariously perfect than that.
Given that buildings are removing their "Trump" signs, and there is no Trump Steaks, no Trump Ice water, no Trump Vodka, no Trump: the Game, no Trump Airlines, no Trump Casinos, no Trump University, no Trump Charity Foundation (and perhaps soon, no Trump Organization), it would seem that Sneaker Trumps may soon follow.
What a truly dismal product to buy. What a truly dismal product for a presidential candidate to hawk. What a truly dismal place to introduce them -- Sneaker Con.
But what a perfect way to encapsulate Trump.
Trump: the Sneaker, brought to you at Sneaker Con.
The only thing that could probably ever be even more ideal is if he brings out a line of lollipops.
Trump Suckers.
At Sucker Con.
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