Last Friday, I needed to get some documents notarized. I called my bank to see if they had a Notary Public who could do it, and while they did, they would only notarize for bank business. (Not the best customer service policy, but alas not uncommon, especially for this bank which recently took over my old one.) “But there’s a really nice guy who’s a Notary in the mall. He’s in the UPS Store past the Subway. Ask for ‘Ash.’” Well, that was helpful, at least, and appreciated. And okay, that seemed reasonable enough. I wouldn’t have to go searching around for a Notary, and there’s a good bagel shop in the outdoor mini-mall I was thinking of going to, and a grocery store that’s the only place I know that carries a specific product I wanted for the Super Bowl, to make a veggie dip. (Excellent fat free sour cream from Knudsen’s – the best I’ve come across by far. Thick and rich tasting. But I digress...) So, I headed over the next day, and wandered through the parking lot of mini-mall, looking for the UPS Store. How hard could it be? There are only about 10 stores there, including the Vons grocery store, a CVS, the bagel shop and my bank. But it turned out to be harder than I figured. I wandered up and down, and couldn’t find it. Did I get the directions wrong? Maybe it a UPS outlet in the bank of the CVS? I went in, made a couple of rounds, but nothing. I even went back to check the big sign that shows all the stores in the mini-mall. Surely it would at least show that the UPS Store was there. But -- nothing. Finally, I waived the white flag and asked one of the CVS workers if they had a UPS store inside? No, though they did have a drop-off desk. Possible, but I didn’t think that would be it. I said I’d been told to ask for someone named Ash. Oh…you probably want the UPS Store next to the Subway. Well, yes, I must want that. But – I’d been past the Subway and didn’t see any UPS Store. But I thanked her, figured she knew the mall where she worked a lot better than I did, and walked over, past the Subway. And, no, there was no UPS Store. But I walked closer, and looked at the window. And there it was, a UPS sticker. I went inside, ready to ask, “Er, is this a UPS Store?” but it clearly was. And when I asked if there was someone here named Ash, he said, “That would be me.” It turned out that he was an extremely nice guy, it was his own store, and a pretty good-sized one. (“I’d been general manager at another UPS Store, and helped the owner make it successful enough to open three others, and figured I could do that for myself. So, this is mine.”) He’d had it only a couple of months since December, and all was well. Except for one problem – The UPS Company still hadn’t gotten around to getting a sign yet. “That would seem to be a problem,” I said. Oh, yes, he replied, it is. But he was hoping they’d be getting him one soon. No kidding. (Though actually they should get him two. One sign for the store front, and another for the big mall display that would direct traffic in.) So, just to prove my point further, you tell me if you can spot the UPS Store. It's there - honest. I'm thinking of developing a new game, Where in the World is Ash's UPS Store? It will come with hints like, "You're looking right at it." And "Walk 30 feet forward until you bump into a store." (In fairness, the parking sign blocks a UPS banner in the window. But in equal fairness, there’s still no big UPS sign in that empty space at the top of the building, like every other store in the mall has -- indeed, like in every mall in the freaking world -- where everybody looks. And as you're wandering through the parking lot, a small pole shouldn't be able to block you identifying where a store is.) But Ash did a great job, was really friendly with all the other customers who came in, and I told him I’d write about his store on my site here. A look of what seemed almost like relief came over his face. (Not that I expect to drive much business there, but hey, you never know. I can imagine the headlines, "Website article about UPS Store goes viral. Lines around the block.") So, if you’re in West Los Angeles, and need any UPS service or a Notary, pop in to visit Ash whose UPS Store is at the southeast corner of Sepulveda and National. You’ll see the big Vons grocery store and CVS – and by the time you get there, maybe you’ll even see a couple of UPS signs by then, too…!
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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