Another Work of Fine Bart

I wrote this a couple months ago, but other news got in the way, and this wasn't remotely newsworthy, but nonetheless of note, I put it on hold.

Back in late April, the New York Times wrote a profile of Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) and, among other things, called him a kind of "working class" hero, suggesting he supports lower-income Americans over elite, claiming that although Hawley is an elite son of a banker and Ivy League graduate, he embraces populist ideals.

This was one of those "Dear god, New York Times, Josh Hawley is a disingenuous. Trump-loving opportunist.  What are you thinking" things. Perhaps it was a low news day for them.  In case anyone has forgotten, Hawley is the guy who urged on the Jan. 6 Insurrectionists with a fist bump...and then went running when they entered the Capitol.

Whenever  I see a story like this, I know that it means I get to intentionally trigger my friend Bart Baker and then just sit back for some relaxing entertainment.  Bart is a Writers Guild-nominated writer, who lives in Missouri (which Hawley represents) and hates Josh Hawley with a well-deserved visceral passion.  He also writes rants with a flair that would fill Shakespeare with admiration.  And I know that all I have to do is bring such stories about Josh Hawley -- or even just an off-handed mention -- to Bart's attention, and a BartRant (tm) will shortly follow.

And if I'm lucky, and catch Bart at just the right moment, it will be so good that I can post it here and save myself having to write a full column on my own.  I'm very open about it at this point, no need to be surreptitious, and still, Bart dives in with a fury that is just oh-so him.  He's a warm, kind, lovely guy.  Just don't push him past Defcon 5.

I've posted BartRants (tm) here before.  I'm sure that I will again in the future.  But here's his latest in response to just the mere mention of the article in the New York Times.  He does not disappoint.  It was magnificent.  Not even pausing to take a breath and put in a second paragraph.  Just stream-of-consciousness vehemence.  Not safe for the family viewing.

It began when I sent the following public note on Facebook, with a shout-out to the maestro.  I wrote --

"Hey, Bart Baker. Insanely pathetic as the NYTimes story was, there is a side of me that likes it because, as you know, it gives me to opportunity to say, "Oh, Bartoli?  Did you see this about Josh Hawley?"  And then I get to sit back and revel in the BartRant (tm) that I know is coming..."

And here was his BartRant (tm)

"I’m sorry, Bobby, I can’t stop laughing, wondering what the fuck is floating through the air vents at the NYT. Clearly something stronger than heroin if this article is any indication. We should hold the next rave there. Mr. Masculine himself, paper thin, lying, sanctimonious sack of shit, Joshie Hawley, was put in office by Peter Thiel’s millions and has his lips firmly attached to Trumps ass and to Project 2025. The closest Hawley gets to working class populism is when he gives the maid a fruitcake for Christmas as a bonus. Hawley has done everything to cater to the uber rich and screw the working class. Pretending you give a shit about actual living people has never been high on Hawley’s attention meter. Too busy pretending to be human - which is work for Hawley, because he’s less a man than a cipher of modern Republican cliches. If it’s found out that he’s actually an AI invention of the prompt 'Can you make a replica of a modern Republican asshole' I would nod and mumble, 'Now it all makes sense.' He is, was and will always be an elitist. He loves telling people how to live their lives from a perch, not in the trenches. To go to the Missouri state fair in a checkered shit and when the cameras are off run for the waiting limo. And it’s easy to pretend for a moment - when even some Republicans are starting to say 'hey, wait a fucking minute, egg prices are still high and there’s no toilet paper on the shelf,' that you aren’t 'that kind' of Republican. When in fact your voting record and your actions tell a different story. He’s everything wrong with politics today. He is a slick talking liar, grandstanding tight ass, who will never deviate from the 2025 playbook - because he sold his soul - if he ever had one - a long, long time ago. Putting his name and the words ‘working class’ in the same sentence without the word ‘hate’ between them is simply another lie. Pretending now you are of the people when you know that won’t get any real traction and all it does it make you look like you care is right on character for him. And really gross. But he doesn’t care as long as it plays."