A Tale of Hoped for Redemption

The other day, I posted the following on social media -- 

"Unlike some, I'm *NOT* "pleased" that Trump finally signed the COVID-19 emergency relief bill. I'm livid that it took him this long -- and until after Christmas putting truly desperate Americans through hell -- to do what any sane, normal human would have done immediately."

I got a reply from an old friend who later became a rabbi.  (For the record, no, this is not my friend Jack Moline who I've often referred to here, and who is on our Board of Directors at Elisberg Industries.)  I only mention that my friend is a rabbi, since he addresses some spiritual issues.  He wrote --

"I don't know what the cutoff point is for how and when someone can be redeemed, but DJT roared past it years ago. There is absolutely nothing he can or could do to be or become a hero at this point. NOTHING."

My reply was that "This is never good when coming from a rabbi..."  To which I added -- "Somewhat similarly, I almost sent a tweet yesterday about how Marley's Ghost was trying to get three ghosts to contact Trump to help redeem him, but no one wanted to do it because there was no point. But I decided not to do so because -- well, there was no point. But maybe I will, now that I've typed it here..."

Alan clarified his earlier comment, not wanting to be misunderstood --

"I should probably add that redemption at the level we're talking about here would not be offered by humankind. This, as I said and as I believe, is beyond our human capacity to achieve. Redemption, in such a case, would have to be between DJT and his Creator. And I would not want to be 'in the room where it happened.'"

Which in the end brings us to --

"Donald, have a seat. So, you know that, like, when I went to create a llama, the first one came out a giraffe.  I just got the neck waaay wrong.  And the first version of a mouse was the elephant.  The whole size-and-nose ratio didn't work out AT ALL.  Well, when it got around to mankind, I was trying to make luggage, and what happened got all messed up -- long story -- and you were the result.  Now, much as I'm sure you'd like to be 'redeemed,' I know that even you can see that that's just not going to happen. It's just totally screwed up behind fixing.  There's no place for a zipper, for starters. And you don't come close to meeting TSA standards.  But don't worry, you're not getting sent 'downstairs,' if you know what I mean.  It's not that you don't belong there, but I just don't want to make Hell even worse.  So, instead, you get to go to Angola.  At first, I was thinking Puerto Rico, but they've been through enough.  And I figured that there was a nice symmetry having you live in what you consider a sh*thole country, though it's really quite nice.  In some ways.  And to show you that I *am* benevolent and loving, you get to go with a relative.  That's  your second cousin, they Samsonite Solyte Expandable Carry-on with Spinner Wheels.  Bon voyage!"