A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Yesterday, Trump wrote a letter to Brazil that he planned to set a 50% tariff on imports from the country.  But no, it’s not because unfair trade practices, which one think is the standard – in fact, rational (and in fact the only) reason to perhaps impose a tariff, most especially a tariff that high, indeed most especially when a country has a huge trade deficit with that other country.  In fact, not only is that not the reason, the U.S. actually has a $650 million trade surplus with Brazil.  So, what in the world then is Trump’s explanation for setting such a high tariff (or any tariff, for that matter)?   Well, it turns out that Trump is unhappy that his friend, Brazil’s former President Jair Bolsonaro, is about to go on trial for attempting a coup.  And Trump considers that – say it all together – a “witch hunt.”  Because…well, of course.

Trump sent a letter to Brazil President da Silva, Mr. Trump wrote that the new tariffs would be imposed on Aug. 1. “The way that Brazil has treated former President Bolsonaro, a Highly Respected Leader throughout the World during his Term, including by the United States, is an international disgrace.”  Among other things, Trump also added that the high tariff was important in order “to rectify the grave injustices of the current regime.”

But Trump didn’t leave it there, through official channels to a foreign leaders, which one would think is the standard – in fact, rational (and in fact the only) way to properly negotiate with another country.  Oh, no, being Trump he sent – say it all together – a tweet!

Yes, really.

Put aside that Trump is tweeting about policy with another country.  And put aside that Trump is imposing a tariff on another country with whom we have a $650 million surplus.  And put aside that Trump is setting a 50% tariff.  All of which is, of course, a lot to put aside.  The core thing here is that Trump is putting a tariff of any amount on another country for reasons that have nothing to do with trade or economics, but because he doesn’t like a trial their court system is holding and wants them to change that – or else he’ll enact a tariff. 

Which – as just a fun side note – U.S. citizens will have to pay, because that’s how tariffs work.

And making this all the more precious is that the trial Trump is unhappy with is the former Brazilian president charged with trying to stage a coup in order to overthrow the government.  Why, O why in the world would Trump be upset with that…??!

(Just for even more perspective:  In his continuing claim against supposedly unfair trade practices, the other day Trump put a 25% tariff on our ally, and one of our major trading partners South Korea.  For the record -- in 2007, the U.S. and South Korea signed a FREE TRADE AGREEMENT, and so South Korea has a ZERO tariff on U.S. goods!!)

And to be clear, as lunatic and out-of-control repugnant as this is, it’s not about Trump, since we know who he is, and this bizarrely is not surprising.  It’s on the MAGOPs in Congress who not only enable Trump, but they’re the specifically ones who have literally allowed him to declare a non-existent financial “emergency” will is what lets him impose these tariffs.  Include this one having nothing to do with finances, but getting involved with another country’s politics – because a court trial hits much too close to home for Trump.

Not surprisingly, Brazil has responded.  Two comments in particular stuck out for me when President Lula replied to reporters.

“I think it’s very wrong and very irresponsible for a president to be threatening others on social media,” he said.  “People have to learn that respect is a good thing.”

And he also said about Trump: “He needs to know that the world has changed. We don’t want an emperor.”

How much of this is Trump projecting his own fears, seeing a former president on trial for trying to stage and coup to overthrow the government?  How much is it Trump being totally out of control?  How much is it Trump’s dementia kicking in?

Who knows, but for that matter, it could be d) All the above.

All we do know for sure is that Trump is threatening to impose a massive tariff on another country because he doesn’t like something their court system is doing, and he’ll try to punish them for it if they don’t change what he doesn’t like.  (Again, never mind that it’s U.S. citizens who will pay the tariffs.

Interestingly, it turns out that our team of ace investigators here at Elisberg Industries have uncovered a White House document that reveals other tariffs Trump has secretly threatened by tweet to world leaders for things he just doesn’t like.

The list is extensive --

Trump has threatened Scotland with a 30% tariff if they don’t pass a law prohibiting golf courses from being built within 100 miles of a Trump country club.

Trump has threatened Norway with a 45% tariff if they don’t give him the Nobel Peace Prize.

Trump has threatened England with a 60% tariff if they don’t re-hire George Lazenby to play James Bond.  And Trump will increase it to an 85% tariff if they do hire Idris Elba for the role.

Trump has threatened China with a 40% tariff if they don’t lower the cost of manufacturing Trump MAGA merchandise.

Trump has threatened Egypt with a 20% tariff if they don’t change the name of the Nile River to the Trump Wild Raft Experience.

Trump has threatened Greenland with a 75% tariff if they don’t drop their guns and come out with their hands up.

Trump has threatened Antarctica with a 10% tariff if they don’t give up the trademark to ICE.

Trump has threatened Guatemala with a 15% tariff if they don’t make English their official language.

Trump has threatened Australia with a 25% tariff if they don’t make English their official language.

Trump has threatened Hollywood with a 40% tariff if they don’t give him an Emmy.

Trump has threatened India with a 45% tariff if they don’t pay reparations for all the attacks Indians made against cowboys.

Trump has threatened Hawaii with a 65% tariff if they don’t agree to become part of the United States.

Trump has threatened Mexico with a 40% tariff if they don’t change the name of the Mexican Hat Dance to the Gulf of America Hat Dance.

Trump has threatened Germany with a 35% tariff if they don’t move Oktoberfest to August.

Trump has threatened Micronesia with a 20% tariff if they don’t develop an industry on which he can impose a tariff.

Trump has threatened Canada with a 90% tariff if they don’t indict Prime Minister Mark Carney for trying to stage a coup and overthrowing the government.

Trump has threated the Vatican with a 55% tariff if they don’t change the name of Jesus to Trump.