I can't begin to express how absolutely thrilled I am that Ann Coulter -- who wrote an entire book on people supposedly whining about being victims and slammed the man who was abused by United Airlines when he didn't want to get bumped from a flight -- was still tweeting and whining half a day later about having to move two seats over on her Delta Airlines flight. For all I know, she's still tweeting and complaining about it, a day later. (I don't have it in me to check.) And it doesn't seem unreasonable to think, given her past record, may well continue doing so when the spirit moves her. I just dearly love this.
I haven't spent much time writing about Ann Coulter in half a dozen years or since she has ceased to be even annoyingly interesting, largely because her "outrageous" statements about others seemed to be intended solely to get an outraged reaction, not because there's any substantive meaning behind them. But this is different, this is not her making some outrageous statement to outrage people -- this is her whining about herself because she had to move her seat from the aisle to the window, and seemingly being unable to stopping whining.
Delta publicly offered to refund the $30 she spent on the special seat she booked. She whined in return that she actually spent "$10,000" of her valuable time booking the seat, researching airplanes and checking back to see her reservation. Now, assuming that this figure is true -- not a reasonable assumption -- the realty is that one can certainly sympathize with anyone's loss of time (again, assuming what Ann Coulter says is true, never a safe assumption), but the amount Delta owes her, as it would owe anyone, is...$30. If she actually does feel that deeply aggrieved -- not a reasonable assumption -- she is welcome to sue for the remaining $9,970, of course, and hope the law agrees with her. But forgetting the court system, since that shouldn't be the lengths one has to go to correct a wrong, let's just look at that claimed wrong itself. And to be fair, let's also be wildly generous and say that Ann Coulter makes as much as $1,000 an hour. That would mean she spent TEN HOURS booking a seat. (And 20 hours to book the seat if she "only" makes a still-whopping $500 an hour...) If that's how long it actually, really truly took -- it explains a lot in Ann Coulter World.
Then there's the matter of Ann Coulter tweeting out a picture of the private citizen who did absolutely nothing wrong other and merely sat in the seat the airline assigned her that Ann Coulter wanted. If the young woman seems less then happy in the photo, wouldn't you be, too, if you had to sit in the same row as a whining Ann Coulter for an entire flight? But worse, wouldn't you even more be upset if you knew that Ann Coulter, a public figure who is taking your picture to tweet it to the world knowing it will make national news, has previously called for a presidential candidates to be assassinated. (I won't remind you of who, since just the thought of it is so despicable.) And quipped about poisoning Supreme Court justices she didn't like.
And of course, then there's the the tweet where Ann Coulter called Delta "fascist" for one of their responses which called her public actions "unacceptable." Because, as we know, a company trying to defend the privacy of their private-citizen customers is so-very what fascism is all about. Fascism?? How pathetically whiny and demeaning to all the actual fascists out there who have spent a lot of effort becoming fascists. Of course, the reality is that Ann Coulter most certainly knows perfectly well what real fascism is. After all, she "waved" at it in her salute to the nominee-booth during the recent Republican National Convention.
It speaks volumes that Ann Coulter's tweetsorm meltdown has done the near-impossible -- made most of the public sympathize with an airline. Mind you, I have no idea why Ann Coulter was asked to move two seats over. Maybe the airline had a great reason, maybe a lousy reason. But Delta did offer to refund her $30 for the inconvenience of moving her over two seats. However, since we don't yet know why it was done and since this clearly is a problem of monumental proportions from all the whining tweets sent out, my hope is that if Robert Mueller has the time he also please look into the case of Ann Coulter being moved two seats over.
I could go on, but that would be oh-so Ann Coulterish. And besides, that's about as long as I can bear writing about Ann Coulter.
But I sure am enjoying her whine relentlessly about being a victim for having to move two seats over.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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