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There was so much highly-deserved and scathing ridicule of Sen. Eric Schmitt (MAGOP-MO) on Tuesday in his disastrous, pathetic attempt to "get" former Special Prosecutor Jack Smith in his Senate hearing that there's nothing much I want to add. But I can't let the moment pass without mention, since it was so hideously awful -- not just for his grueling mistake, but also because it was followed by calling the 30-year, highly regarded federal prosecutor a "dirtbag." And never apologizing after his profound mistake was revealed.


I also don't want to let the moment pass because of two small parts of the story.


To recap, just because repeating it is too wonderful, Schmitt thought he had a great "gotcha" moment against Mr. Smith, even sneering that Smith had just "perjured" himself. Schmitt even had big charts printed up -- which he pulled away before even letting Jack Smith read them.


Schmitt's claim was that Jack Smith had attended a basketball game to see the Atlanta Hawks, as part of his supposed conspiracy to meet up with Atlanta D.A. Fani Willis. A sporting event Jack Smith denied attending. To which, aha!!!, Schmitt pulled out supposed texts that proved Smith had, in fact, been there. And subsequently called him a "dirtbag."


Now, why in the world Schmitt thinks going to a men's pro basketball game is a big deal -- and why he thinks for some inexplicable reason there's a conspiracy between Jack Smith and Fani Willis, and that somehow it involves going to a basketball game -- and why he thinks that 30-year federal prosecutor Jack Smith would lie about going to a basketball game, that's between him and his god. Moreover, why on earth he thinks that remembering the details of attending a pro basketball game, to the point of actually lying about it under oath, would reach the high level of "perjury," let alone getting a perjury "dirtbag" conviction is an even more bizarre, inscrutable matter of the occult. After all, convicting someone of perjury requires more than even intentionally lying under oath! It has to be proven, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the person not only deliberately lied about a detail -- rather than just remembered it wrong -- but knowingly lied about a fact that was material to the matter under investigation!


Actually, the much bigger question is why on earth the MAGOPs are holding a hearing at all with Jack Smith about events that began almost six years ago and which have all been discredited, just days before early voting starts for the Mid-Terms, when their party's leader has a 32% approval, and most of the public is concerned with soaring gas prices, tariffs, high consumer prices, abusive immigration policies and an unnecessary war in Iran that Trump began and can't end -- and are not even remotely concerned with Jack Smith and why he got court approval to access telephone numbers. But we'll put that lunacy aside.


As it turned out, and almost immediately, Sen. Amy Klobuchar spoke up, having figured out where Schmitt had gone so deeply, shamefully and clowinshly off the rails . (It's worth jumping in here to note that earlier in the day, an article had appeared -- likely leaked by Schmitt's office -- suggesting he was being looked at as a possible VP selection by MAGOPs in 2028. A dream for Schmitt that was about to go up in smoke in four seconds. 3-2-1...) Klobuchar explained that the same night as the Atlanta Hawks NBA game, the University of Iowa was playing at Maryland in a women's college basketball game, and Iowa's nickname is the "Hawkeyes." And -- yes, Jack Smith said, he was at the Iowa Hawkeyes game in Maryland, because he wanted to see the Hawkeyes' big star Caitlin Clark play.


The Hawkeyes. Not the Hawks. College basketball. Not the pros.


Women. Not men.


Hawkeyes. Not the Hawks. Hawkeyes.


Schmitt not only still hasn't apologized but is actually trying desperately to take an embarrassing victory lap, saying he got Jack Smith to admit he was at a basketball game, which is as pure a definition of today's MAGOP as one can make, and which, with appreciated great timing, also impeccably supports my article yesterday about how tweets by MAGOP officials on social media have gotten so egregious that my default response to them is now "this is a lie." And making the "Hawkeye" debacle even worse for Schmitt is that it turns out when the crackerjack Justice Department sent him the erroneous texts (which he tried use as his "perjury" gotcha proof), Schmitt was warned that the texts had not been vetted, and that he should fact-check them first. Which would have been incredibly easy to do -- for starters, the texts said that Jack Smith was sitting in Row 1 -- but the arena where the Atlanta Hawks play doesn't have a Row 1. It starts at Row AA!! But Schmitt used them anyway. So smarmy sure that he had "got" Special Prosecutor Jack Smith. (Not surprisingly, an unnamed senior MAGOP senator told RawStory, “I'm pretty sure the White House asked him to do it. And, probably, the White House provided the material.”)


In Schmitt's hometown newspaper, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch wrote a blistering editorial slamming their senator. It was titled, ""Wrong teams, wrong league, wrong state."


Which leads me to the two tiny points I got such a kick out of, beyond the richly-deserved humiliation of Eric Schmitt.


The first is that, as soon as I saw on the video that it was Amy Klobuchar picking up on the team name issue, my immediate thought was "The Big Ten comes through!!" Most reporters said it was because Sen. Klobuchar from Minnesota had knowledge of Midwest college sports. But it was actually much more specific than that.  Minnesota and Iowa are both in the Big Ten conference.  And as a Big Ten guy myself, I was well aware that any Big Ten fan knows the nicknames of all the 10 original Big Ten universities, and knows that Iowa is the Hawkeyes. So, I burst out laughing when I saw Minnesotan Amy Klobuchar get a twinkle in her eyes as she was smacking Eric Schmitt at the kneecaps. And letting him glop there in total disgrace.


And the second thing I loved in the story is that the deeply taciturn, all-business, 30-year federal prosecutor Jack Smith, who has prosecuted war crimes at the international tribunal in The Hague against former members of the Kosovo Liberation Army — including former Kosovo President Hashim Thaçi -- wanted to go see Caitlin Clark play basketball.



 

 
 

We have another new parody song from Randy Rainbow. It's not one of his more insightful, but lends itself to a lot of fun rhyming, so the song and production are fun and lively.


By the way, if you want to skip his commercial inside the video, it starts at the :48 second mark and you can jump to 2:18.



 
 

I spend some time each day scrolling through Twitter, occasionally commenting when the spirit moves me. Ever since Elon Musk bought the service, it's shifted to the right, but more notably is that as we've moved into Mid-Term election season, probably about nine months ago, "shifted to the right" seems the wrong term, but rather "has become a Must Post playground for MAGOP officials." Some more than others. Actually, again, no, that isn't quite right. Some significantly more than others, to the point that you want to write back, to senators Ted Cruz and Mike Lee, "Excuse me, Senator, but don't you have a job to do that's much more important than tweeting??" Though this isn't limited to them alone.


It's almost become an unrelenting tweeting frenzy the past few months. And I've tried to correct things when comments are made that aren't true. Not so those posting will apologize and make the record clear, but so others reading it all will understand what the actual truth is. As you might imagine, it's an uphill battle. Sort of like trying to stop an avalanche with a bucket. But one does what one can. I have some responses saved on a sort of macro, where -- rather than try to correct the record every time and with only 288 characters -- I've made it much more simpler for myself, and others, by just copy and pasting the response in. One I've used often in response to DHS is from a federal judge stating that they can't be trusted with the truth. Copy-paste. But the one I've used the most says simply in response to someone in Trump's circle trying to explain his greatness --


"Trump's approval is 32%.


"Two-third's of the American public isn't buying what you're so desperately trying to sell."


I realized, however, that there's sort of a quicker and easier and much more succinct way to deal with it all. And I thought that today's article was a good place to introduce it. And so, here goes --


Trump is lying.


"JD Vance" is lying


The White Account is lying


Ted Cruz is lying.


Mike Lee is lying.


Speaker Mike Johnson is lying.


Press secretary Karoline Leavitt is lying


The Rapid Response 47 account is lying.


Kash Patel is lying.


Markwayne Mullin is lying.


Economic advisor Kevin Hassett is lying


Ted Cruz is lying. (It can't be said enough.)


Mike Lee is lying. (It can't be said enough.)


The DHS account is lying.


Howard Lutnick is lying.


Sean Duffy is lying.


Tim Scott is lying.


Anna Paulina Luna is lying.


Elon Musk is lying.


Scott Bessent is lying.


Jim Jordan is lying.


Byron Donalds is lying.


Lauren Boebert is lying.


Ted Cruz is lying.


Mike Lee is lying.


Ken Paxton is lying.


Tommy Tuberville is lying.


Sarah Huckabee Sanders is lying.


Brandon Gill is lying.


Marsha Blackburn is lying.


Rick Scott is lying.


Josh Hawley is lying.


To be clear, all of these people aren't lying about every single thing they post all of the time. But most of the time they are. And they are, too, as a general overriding rule in their tweets, so this is a warning that that is their standard as a starting point -- sort of like a road sign that says, "Caution: Deer Crossing." There might not be a deer that's crossing at that exact moment, but this is where they cross -- so read what these MAGOPs tweet with total skepticism until they prove otherwise., because here on social media, this is where they lie They are lying so much they don't get the benefit of the doubt. And yes, I know this seems very over-the-top hyperbolic. And of course it sort of is. Sort of. Because it is the underlying (no pun intended, but nonetheless the perfect word) core of what they're writing on social media and trying despairingly to get across. And there's a demonstrable reason for me saying this -- the relentless lying by those above seems to be the result of having a party leader with a 32% approval, where two-thirds of the public doesn't support what you're doing, and so telling the truth on issues the public hates you for is a losing proposition. So, the alternative, when you can't find a supportable fact that helps you, is to lie about how great it all is.


To be clear, as well, just because there are names of people not mentioned here who you might assume to be liars, that doesn't mean they aren't lying. It just means they don't post much on social media. And so, I've hardly, if ever seen them.


And also to be clear, I didn't list the names of all those MAGOPs who are lying on social media. These above are just the most egregious. But mostly, at a certain point, even I have to stop typing. Especially when it's just a massively long laundry list.


But make no mistake. As hyperbolic as this all might seem -- and is, sort of. Sort of -- the foundation is valid. MAGOP officials can read polls and are desperate. And flailing. And taking photos of Trump off their campaign websites. The best they can do is praise the supposed success of their failed programs they've enabled. Which is a lie. Or blame President Biden on what Trump is responsible. Which is a lie. Or finally tip-toe around criticizing Trump's war or immigration actions or high gas while supporting it all in Congress. Which is a lie. And so, now, I have sort of a quicker and easier way to deal with it all online. Just post a link on Twitter to right here.


And that's the truth.



"How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?" written by Alan Jay Lerner and Burton Lane






 
 
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Author

Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. 

Elisberg is a two-time recipient of the Lucille Ball Award for comedy screenwriting. He's written for film, TV, the stage, has two sort-of best-selling novels, and was a regular columnist for the Writers Guild of America and Huffington Post.  Among his other writing, he's had a long-time column on technology (which he sometimes understands), and co-wrote a book on world travel.  As a lyricist, he is a member of ASCAP, and has contributed to numerous publications.

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