For reasons inexplicable to the founders of Sofft stain repellent, Kickstarter allowed a late donation of $60 that came in after the campaign close to be accepted. So that means they actually passed the $75,000 mark. The final total is now -- $75,029!!! Well...final until Kickstarter accepts some other donation.
I mention as a public service for those keeping track in the home version of Kickstarter.
Thanks to my Apology Expert business partner Nell Minow for pointing me to this. It's from reporter Erin Gloria Ryan of Jezebel.com who has come up with a new game here called, "Self-Pitying Creep Non-Apologizing Bingo."
It came about after a Canadian radio host offered a "long, rambling, self-indulgent non-apology" to allegations of a sexual misconduct. Ms. Ryan got fed up with such things, and put together a bingo card for the public to play along the next time(s) something like this comes up. When you hear a specific non-apology excuse offered, you play a chit on its square of the bingo card.
I like two suggestions made by readers for excuses that don't appear on the guard: "I was misunderstood" and "God."
But here's what she came up with. It's a very good list, and the thing is it could fit most self-pitying non-apologies. But does fit creeps particularly well --
Seventh Inning Yawn
One game to go before the baseball season is over alas. And one more game to go before we don't have to listen to the maudlin, faux-patriotic Seventh Inning Stretch performances of "God Bless America."
This is something Major League Baseball started doing after 9/11, and while I understood for the time at that moment, I hate that it's still going on. For a while, a few ballclubs were doing it during the season, but most don't anymore, except maybe on special occasions. But MLB makes sure it's performed during every game in the post-season. Because the post-season is Special. And so we must be uber-patriotic.
Well...we are uber-patriotic. We stand and sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" before every game. It's the National Anthem, after all. Fair enough.
But "God Bless America" is a pop tune. It's a patriotic pop tune. It's a very good patriotic pop tune. And it's wonderful for stirring the patriotic heart. Well-done, Irviing Berlin. But it's still a pop tune, and singing it is one thing, but then to ask people to "Please rise and honor America" is ridiculous. It's faux-patriotic. Standing up to sing a pop song is not honoring America. It's making a mockery of patriotism. Even if it's accompanied by military guard.
If MLB wants to honor the military, great! Let that same officer sing the National Anthem before the game, rather than the pop star promoting their latest album. "The Star Spangled Banner" was written to honor a battle victory at war, after all. It's a perfect fit.
They don't sing "God Bless America" at the half-time of football games. Or after the third quarter of basketball games. Or following the second period of hockey games. Or halt tennis matches after the second set to rise and honor honor America. Or stop golf tournaments. Or after a NASCAR race, or the Kentucky Derby. But for some reason, Major League Baseball thinks that during the post-season, instead of singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and celebrating the actual event everyone is at, we should "rise to honor America" (which everyone has already just done before the game) and sing a pop tune.
And ultimately, that's not what the Seventh Inning Stretch is for. It's...to stretch. Literally. It's a break from sitting for two hours, to "stretch" your legs, not to renew your patriotism, which you just declared only seven innings earlier. The Seventh Inning Stretch is a time for fun, for raising the roof and "root, root, root for the home team" as the game goes into its final turn -- because if they don't win it's a shame. In Chicago at Wrigley Field, the Cubs have made it a baseball celebration with guest conductors who lead the roaring crowd. And crowds, not just in Chicago but throughout the country actually look forward to singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," I believe. Because it's great fun. And a chance to root, root for their home team.
But almost worse is how they present "God Bless America" at ballgames. If they're going to insist on singing it, for goodness sake...then sing it right!!! When MLB drags out "God Bless America" in the middle of their Important Games, they bring onstage someone in military uniform to push the patriotic button and make sure they sing the song like a dirge, dragging out every...last...freaking...note like it was a heart-breaking aria in a death scene by Giuseppe Verdi, extending each...last...syllable so slowly that a turtle could beat it plodding around the bases, trying desperately to rip...at..our...heartstrings by over-emoting in a way so maudlin and bathetic it would bring tears pouring out a rock.
In fact, "God Bless America" is intended to be sung in a rousing way which is what stirs our souls -- and what makes it such a great, moving song. This is how it was intended to be sung. And subjective as that may sound, it's actually It's easy to know it because here is the very first public performance of it ever, by Kate Smith on Armistice Day, November 10, 1938.
This is how "God Bless America" is supposed to be sung. Far more stirring than any version you heard during the post-season.
Okay, so maybe Kate Smith singing God Bless America for the first time isn't proof enough for some of you. Fine. I get it. Here then is Irving Berlin himself on The Ed Sullivan Show singing the song, for which you may recall he gave all the royalties to the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts of America.
Even at age 80 (this show was celebrating his birthday), he knew -- because he wrote the thing -- that you let the melody pull you on, not haltingly stop at every break to bare your soul. But he really knew was how to rouse every person listen, and get them to want to sing the song with him at the top of their lungs.
But wait, there's more! Here's a bonus for you.
In the 1970s, the Philadelphia Flyers of the National Hockey League, competing in the Birthplace of Liberty, decided that every once in a while they would play an audio recording of Kate Smith singing "God Bless America" before their games, rather than always the National Anthem. What the team noticed is that they seemed to do very well when they played that old recording of Kate Smith, so it became a good luck charm, and they kept playing it more and more often. Eventually, the Flyers had a won-loss (and tie) record of 36-3-1 in games when the games began with a recording of Kate Smith singing "God Bless America."
And in 1974, the team was spurred on enough to make the Stanley Cup. The finals!
And then, without telling anyone, as a big secret before one of Philadelphia's home games during the Stanley Cup, they make a change. They decided not to play a recording of Kate Smith singing "God Bless America" -- no, instead they brought the 67-year-old singer herself to center ice in front of a shocked and mad-crazy roaring crowd to sing the song live, that she had introduced 36 years earlier.
Not only does she get the entire stadium singing along with her, once they stop cheering (because of the recording it's hard to hear the crowed, but if you listen closely around the 2:35 mark, you can tell) -- rather than just sedately sitting back to watch someone else perform, but when it's all over even opposing Boston players come over to shake her hand -- the hand, keep in mind, of Philadelphia's good luck charm
Philadelphia won the Stanley Cup.
And here's that moment. And here again is how the song is supposed to be sung. Just joy and enthusiasm flowing out of every pore. Even if you're only wearing your best house dress.
Wait, wait! No, there's more. Just because you're so special.
The Philadelphia Flyers kept winning with the song, so they kept playing Kate Smith's recording before the games. They won the Stanley Cup again in 1975, and kept winning in 1976 and continued to play the recording -- and made it to their third straight Stanley Cup. And once again brought out Kate Smith to sing it live, in another rousing and very enthusiastic and emotional performance with the crowd singing along in loud voice. (I won't embed that -- even I have my limits -- but for those who want to see it, you can find the video here.)
The team didn't win the championship that year, but by then the song because a Flyers' tradition. They kept playing Kate Smith's old recording of "God Bless America" -- but eventually moved on. Not from the song, no, they kept using that, but instead had other solo singers performing it live. And one of them, Lauren Hart, became a team standby.
And in 2009, Philadelphia was in the playoffs again. And Lauren Hart was there to sing it again. And so, too -- to the explosive joy of the totally unsuspecting fans -- with a bit of wondrous electronic magic was Kate Smith herself once more from that famous 1974 appearance singing along in a glorious duet.
It's beautifully done. (The best part is at the 53-second mark when Ms. Hart knows what's coming and knows the crowd doesn't, and can't help peeking a look up at the jumbo screen in giddy anticipation.) And this once more is how it's supposed to be done.
If you're going to sing "God Bless America," then you do it at the beginning of the game to get the crowed roaring. But whenever you decide to sing, you blast it out. Like it was intended.
And the Kickstarter campaign is now...over. So, you can rest easy that there won't be anymore posting about the Sofft stain repellent and fabric softener co-developed by my friend Greg Van Buskirk, who used to be a project manager at Clorox.
You may recall that recently I posted an update here that they just had an article written about the product in Popular Science magazine and had passed their $25,000 goal sitting at $36,424 with only six days to go in the 40 day campaign. Well...something kicked in. Whether it was the Popular Science article, or an appearance on the CBS television affiliate in San Francisco, KPIX, or a radio appearance on the CBS affliliate KOGO, or word of mouth, or what -- or all together -- I don't know.
But they just ended with...$74,969!. In other words, they more than doubled their donations in just the last six days. Not shabby when your goal was $25,000... And coming down to the finish line, they finally cracked the 1,000 plateau for backers, ending with 1,020.
Greg, though, was whining a bit, staring at that list of 1,000 people. "Now we have to fill all those gift bottles of Sofft that each of the donors get." I believe that my response was something along the lines of "The heart bleeds."
He understood. And believe me, he was thrilled.
So, for thems who were following your program for Sofft: The Musical, now you know. For all others, you may spill to your heart's delight.
Over the weekend, I saw my first TV ad for the movie, Unbroken, based on Laura Hillenbrand's long-lasting best-selling novel. (Still #2 on the New York Times bestseller list for paperback non-fiction. In fairness, it's only been on the list for 12 weeks...but that's only because it was on the hardcover bestseller for so long -- since it was published four years ago, in 2010, that it didn't even get put out in paperback until a few months ago.)
As I've mentioned, I'm particularly supportive of the film because my good friend, writer-director Mick Garris is the son-in-law of the noble subject of the book, Louis Zamperini, father of Mick's wife Cynthia. Louie passed away only three months ago, at the age of 97, and he was pretty vibrant to the end. He was also kept very involved with the production by director Angelini Jolie, who adored him (and oddly, only lived a few blocks away), and I know he saw a lot of footage from the film, and a rough cut. In fact, he was planning to visit the set during production, but ultimately it was too difficult a trip all the way to Australia.
This was a long time coming. For starters, there was a much earlier book on Louis Zamperini many decades ago that was developed for a movie, but never got made. Laura Hillenbrand's book went through countless screenwriters trying to crack the tale properly. In the end, it was a collaboration of draft by a seriously impressive collective of writers -- the Coen Brothers (yes, they did the screenplay without directing), Richard Lagravenese (best known for The Horse Whisperer, The Bridges of Madison County, Beloved and The Fisher King) and William Nicholson (who wrote Gladiator, Les Miserables, and Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom.)
The TV ad looked absolutely terrific, and I was going to post it here, but found the full trailer and figured it would be best to post that instead. The film opens on Christmas Day.
And I'll be honest, on a totally personal level, my favorite part of the trailer is the screen credit -- "Executive Producer Mick Garris."
But still, the movie looks great.
Headline of the Day
From yesterday's Miami Herald, for an article by Fred Grimm --
I had a lot to say, but after reading Fred Grimm's wonderful piece, I realized that the best thing to do is really let Mr. Grimm speak for himself, in his scathing portrayal of not only the Florida governor Rick Scott, who's in a dead-heat race.race for re-election, but also of the Ebola "hysteria."
Over the weekend, Governor Scott had followed the earlier lead of three of his fellow-governors by ordering close monitoring of travelers entering their states who had come from Guinea, Liberia, and Sierra Leone -- an action which in Mr. Scott's case didn't impact the polls. As Scott campaigned across Florida alongside one of those same governors, Chris Christie of New Jersey, it became clear to the reporter one of the most likely reasons for the lack of voter interest in the order -- Scott was simply "too late jumping on the Ebola train."
Scott had failed to heed the old adage: If you're going to exploit a deadly disease for political purposes, you need to get ahead of the crowd.
Fred Grimm notes one other problem that Rick Scott faced in ordering his "strict monitoring" of visitors coming into the state from Guinea, Liberia, and Sierra Leone -- it's that Florida doesn't actually have any direct flights that come into the state from Guinea, Liberia, and Sierra Leone. Or anywhere in West Africa.
The good news for the governor, though, is what lead to the journalist's headline suggestion -- and to perhaps his best and most spot-on pointed line in the article. "Florida, however, has plenty of flights out of Texas, particularly from Dallas, the virtual Ebola capital of the United States"
If anything rooted out the sense of irrational hysteria that politicians (and media) are throwing out about Ebola, that might be it. Two nurses in Dallas were infected by the virus, which after all is twice as many as the next highest state in the country. Not to mention that pretty much all medical advice from actual experts on the subject have stated bluntly that banning flights (whether or not any come into your state...) is the very worst thing that can be done.
Still, as quippy as Fred Grimm might have been about his own suggestion, I think it's at least worth closer scrutiny. After all, I've long been advocating similar actions about Texas for years. After all, Texas has been yammering about seceding from the Union from years, and I've said it's time we took them up on it. And now, we have the even greater justification to do so. Consider -- if we did let Texas secede, then everyone living in the state would become foreigners. And by law, they would need passports and require that every Texan pass through Immigration Control when trying to enter any part of the United States. And this secession would cover all "strict monitoring" of flights from Texas, as well, whether one was a Texas foreigner or not. Because being a foreign country, anyone at all who left the Republic of Texas and arrived back in the good ol' U.S. of A. would need a passport to pass through Immigration. It's a win-win!!
If you'd like to read Fred Grimm's entire article, you can find it here.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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