As is pretty well-known by now, even if you don't follow sports in the slight, Uruguayan soccer star Luis Suarez bit another player from Italy during their World Cup soccer match. I actually was watching the match at the time -- I didn't see the bite itself, but my timing was such that I walked into the room as I heard the announcers saying how unfortunate the incident was, and that it certainly looked like the Italian player was complaining he'd been bitten. They couldn't be sure from the replays, they said, but it looked possible. That's when I reversed the DVR a few seconds, watched the play and the replays and just laughed. "Boy, are you guys bending over backwards being polite," I thought to myself, "Of course that's a bite!!" -- especially considering that they were saying that Suarez had previously been suspended two other times for biting.
It was clearly obvious, and that was confirmed when the FIFA governing body suspended Suarez for four months for his third violation of biting.
But what do you do when you have a soccer player who consistently bites other soccer players?
Well, the funniest response I'm come across by far is this posting by...Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer!
As far as I can tell, this is absolutely on the level, not an fake article being sent around. I say that because the article I read the article on Millan's own website, Cesar's Way. So, unless his site got hacked, this is the real deal. And it's pretty amusing.
"If you're having problems with your players," Millan writes, he gives suggestions on what you can do to address the ongoing problem, Like the suggestion --
"You can reduce aggression by having your soccer player spayed or neutered. Many low and no cost options are available."
You can read the whole article here -- and all the suggestions to do with your own soccer player problems, if you have one of your own...
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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