I've become a bit of a connoisseur of Huffington Post headlines. Now, I know that all publications write headlines to get your attention, but Huffington Post seems to be particularly adept at over-hype, occasionally having little to do with what's in the article, and often having to do with sex, usually various modes of undress for women.
Bikini rocking is a big one. Yesterday, in fact, they had two. Jessica Biel rocked in a bikini. And a pregnant Stacy Kiebler rocked in something that surprisingly wasn't a bikini.
Best ever is huge, as well. Best animal video ever. Best Jimmy Fallon music video with toy instruments ever. Actually, it usually is punctuated better. As in -- Best. Pizza. Ever.
There also tend to be a great many Epic Fails. Sometimes they give them to professionals, more often than not singers, but home videos seem get the most epic fails -- "Wedding Dance Epic Fail".
But I particularly enjoyed this one yesterday. It did what Huffington Post headlines do so well, throwing in everything including the kitchen sink, pointlessly, in an effort to make sure you click through to see some great pictures of Kate Upton --
Okay, now, just for the record, while I know full-well what the HuffPo editor was doing, the reality is that Kate Upton would look good in the worst photo shoot. She would look good dressing up shlubby just to go to the Worst. Photo Shoot. Ever.
Call me crazy, but I really don't think the editor had to explain to us that Kate Upton actually "looks good" doing something. I mean, let's get serious now, when do we think the last time was that this woman didn't actually "look good" in a photograph?
If a photographer couldn't take a photograph of Kate Upton that looked good, he should lose his camera privileges forever. I'm guessing her fetal sonograms looked good.
In a ham-fisted effort to get readers to click through, I just think the editor wasted valuable headline space. It was sloppy writing. In Strunk & White's essential Elements of Style, writers are admonished to get to the point and not use words that aren't necessary. The editor should have simply made the headline, "Kate Upton Photos" and left it at that. Anyone who wanted to click through would have gotten the point.
At the very least, I'm a little surprised he didn't make it: "Kate Upton Rocks in a Bikini." (Full disclosure: I didn't click through to the article and see the photo shoot. I'm just guessing that if it was photos of Kate Upton, there was a good chance she was in a bikini.) Though the editor probably shouldn't have used "Best. Kate Upton Photos. Ever." There would be too much existing evidence to the contrary.
"Kate Upton is Looking Good in New Photo Shoot." Noooo?? Seriously?!! Go figure.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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