Sean Hannity is the gift that just keeps giving. He's like the potato chip of commentary. Sometimes you can't write just one.
I've posted a couple of pieces the past few days from Mr. Hannity telling us all how his experiences being stopped by the police have always been polite and so wonderful, and that's why it's so important to remember why we should cut the police some slack.
This brought about a comment left here by reader Max Keppelman, which bears repeating -
How often is Mr. Hannity pulled over by the police? It must be often, if he has worked out such an elaborate scenario. Why do the police stop him? Is he speeding? Idling in an area known for drug sales or prostitution? Driving while Irish? Has he ever been accosted by a cop for standing around on the sidewalk and looking suspicious (Don't count autograph requests)? The world needs to know.
That thought had occurred to me, as well, though I chose to leave it out and go in a different direction in what I wrote. But as I thought about it, I'm glad I did that. Because I think it's very unfair to Sean Hannity to think that he wouldn't be stopped by the police on occasion, if not regularly. A dangerous bad-ass who flies in the face of polite, common-sense, "good will" society. A pistol-packing (by his own acknowledgement) gangster who carries a permit license only to keep The Man off his back. A radical who jogs on the wild side. The black sheep of the family who knows that being a white sheep is even scarier because he blends in, and so you can't spot him before he strikes.
Think about it. If Sean Hannity wasn't such a scoffaw, such a festering sore in the eyes of the law, would he even need his concealed weapon? The police are there to protect society, the police are on the side of "good" people, if you didn't do anything wrong you don't need to be scared about the police. We know this because Sean Hannity just told us so. The police are polite -- and treat you well. As long as you don't ever give them a reason to. Sean Hannity knows, that's why Sean told us so, from his experience. And that's why Sean Hannity carries a gun -- and an attitude.
You must understand - Sean Hannity's favorite phrase is, "You'll never catch me, copper! Top o' the world, ma!!!"
So, of course, Sean Hannity knows what he's talking about when he tells us about his experience being pulled over in his Cadillac Escalade Hybrid. Time and time and time again. He's got a target on his back, and the fuzz are on it, too.
And yes, that's apparently what he drives. I looked it up. I believe in facts and accuracy. But not Sean, Sean spits in the face of your middle-class values like truth and reality. Sean lives by his own rules. Sean will say whatever the hell he wants, and screw your polite society sensibilities. Facts? He don't need no stinkin' facts.
Know what it's like to be stopped by the police his whole life? You bet your life he does. He's Sean Hannity. Every day he wakes up wondering not if but when he is going to be hassled by the cops. Bring it on. He's Sean Hannity. Living on the edge of decency. He's the bad boy of bad "news."
Sean Hannity. Giving "White Bread" a really bad name...
Sean Hannity. Giving the name "Hannity" a really bad name...
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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