Back before the last Republican convention, Ann Coulter, Repubican analyst extraordinaire, gushed over Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) and begged and pleaded with him to run for president, because otherwise Mitt Romney would get the nomination and "We'll lose."
In just one year, the love affair is over. Totally over. Gone from breathlessly writing his last name after yours over and over with little hearts to dot the "i," to keying his car.
Ann Coulter's love for Chris Christie is so over that if she was Taylor Swift we'd be hearing a song about it next week.
This man who she oh-so-dearly wanted to be President of the United States, leader of the free world, is now "dead to me," she wrote in a Twit. (Yes, I know it's a "tweet," but sometimes reality must transcend accepted convention.)
Again, to be clear, it's not that she doesn't like something he did and is slamming him for it. It's not that she's putting him the Coulter Doghouse to see if he can prove himself again and work his way out. It's not that she wants to explain and debate the issue to perhaps convince him to act otherwise. It's that he is "Dead to me." Dead. Dead, dead, dead. Over, gone, done, goodbye. Bury him deep into the ground. Walk away, it's over forever. He's dead.
BFF has gone to WFF. He's dead. And dead is forever.
And what is it that Christie did to Ann Coulter that has caused her love to wither? How did he break her very little heart and crush her "Dear Diary" fantasies? Well, he...
Actually, he didn't do anything. She's made about what someone did. No, seriously. Several weeks ago, Gov. Christie appointed Jeff Chiesa to temporary fill in the Senate seat vacated by the death of Sen. Frank Lautenberg. And Sen. Chiesa cast a vote that Ann Coulter doesn't like. And so Chris Christie is "dead" to her. Dead.
Never mind, of course, that in appointing Jeff Chiesa what Mr. Christie was perhaps trying to do was firm the foundation that will help him get re-elected as Gov. and build a base which can help him get the Republican nomination for president and help him win the presidency -- which just a year ago dear Ms. Coulter was praying for -- win, for the very reason that Ann Coulter believed he actually had a chance to win: that he could appeal to moderates and not just the far right.
Never mind that. Never mind, too, that as far as I can tell, Ms. Coulter didn't slam Chris Christie at the time he appointed Jeff Chiesa, so seemingly she was fine with the appointment. No, Ann Coulter's love is now "Dead to me." For someone else taking an action.
And by the way, what was this vote that Sen. Chiesa made that so destroyed the love-sick soul of Ann Coulter? It was for the immigration bill, that would help give minorities a chance to become part of melting pot that Americans are so proud of. A bill, it's important to know, that passed the U.S. Senate.
But actually, this story is really about something else, other than just showing how small, petty, petulant and clueless Ann Coulter can be, even for Ann Coulter. It's that if anything shows the problems the intransigent, small-minded Republican Party faces, this is it.
After all, it's one thing to dislike someone's actions or policies. It's another when you become so inflexible that anything you don't approve of becomes a de facto "death sentence." And something even further when it's not even a person's direction action. When a party becomes that unbending, that brittle, that close-minded, only ever able to see one, one, one, one side to anything, it becomes impossible for that party to grow and develop and become more inclusive, and puts its future at risk. But worse, when that party has fallen into disarray because of that very inflexibility and has driven away so many former members to the degree that party leaders themselves have acknowledged in a position report -- the Growth and Opportunity Project -- that they must work to bring blacks and Hispanics and other minorities into the party, then thoughtlessly, mindlessly, inflexibly giving the "Death Sentence" to someone attempting to do just that, attempting to do exactly what the GOP itself says it must do, is instead helping give the Death Sentence to that very party instead.
When someone's job is to analyze and that analysis so profoundly counterproductive to the group of people she's hoping to influence, at some point you have to wonder when that group will wise up and stop listening to her? But then, I've wondered that for years.
Hey, what can I say? Ann Coulter, you go girl.
Robert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting.
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