And believe me, you are unique. If only because of your quite-evident good taste. And apparent love of articles about razor blades.
Hey, I told you that you'd be the second to know.
Igor Gsaliva, accounts receivable, is still going through the numbers to get the official count. He's very diligent, making a list, and checking it three times. ("Twice, hah! Santa, if he make a mistake, he don't have to deal with it for a year," Igor always says. "Me, I make a mistake and everything goes screwed up and it builds every day. And I get fired. Who's gonna fire Santa? The little kiddies, they all cry, 'Oh, where's Santa??! Boo hoo.' But who gonna cry, "Where's Igor Gsaliva?" Maybe my mother, but she's from the Old Country, and she cries that every day since I move out.")