If you haven't yet watched the ESPN feature about Ernie Johnson, I pass along this reply from a friend (not remotely a sports fan) who I sent a link of the video to. She just watched it and wrote back --
"Wow! What a guy! What a wonderful wife/ mother and family! Terrific story." And "Terrific story" doesn't do it justice. This is the link again. Click here.
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As Mr. Dickens might say, this is A Tale of Two Apologies. It is the worst of excuses, it is the best of excuses. The first apology risks making your head explode, but the latter happily is a hoot, a salve that will return you to a state of peace and joy. My co-founding partner of the National Apology Society, Nell Minow, sent me a scathing article on the Bloomberg website here by Matt Levine, in which he uses a scalpel to dissect and then shred the supposed "apologies" that several banks were required to make as part of their guilty plea deals for federal crimes of antitrust conspiracy in illegally fixing foreign exchange-rates. It's quite a galling article, as it is intended to be -- showing how after sending out the required disclosure statement as demanded by the court, the banks (which include Barclays, Citi, JPMorgan, UBS, and the Royal Bank of Scotland) also out their own letters to clients along with the required disclosures, which make clear they are not apologizing at all, but that all of these actions -- which, again, they plead guilty to for anti-trust conspiracy -- weren't illegal at all, but just their normal business practices. Note: we know they were their normal business practices. That's why they were convicted of them. In describing the first, required disclosure letter that JPMorgan had to send out as directed by the Justice Department as a condition of their guilty plea, author Levine notes -- "It never says 'and those practices were wrong.' Or 'and we're sorry we did those things.' Or even: 'and we'll stop doing them.' "Because they won't! Here's another letter that JPMorgan is sending to its clients along with the disclosure notice. This one is not a condition of its probation. Here's how it starts:" [BobNote: I've stripped out the legalese for easier reading.] "The purpose of this letter is to clarify the nature of the trading relationship between you and the Corporate & Investment Bank at JPMorgan Chase & Co. and its affiliates...and to disclose relevant practices of JPMorgan...in the wholesale spot foreign exchange...markets. We want to ensure that there are no ambiguities or misunderstandings regarding those practices." Matt Levine then continues, putting this in proper perspective: "So: That does not sound like an apology. That sounds downright feisty. The disclosure notice, which JPMorgan has to send, starts with an apology and then goes on to list some things that JPMorgan did in the past. The client letter, which JPMorgan wants to send, starts with a defiant "no ambiguities or misunderstandings" and then goes on to list some things that JPMorgan will keep doing in the future." It's a wonderful, if teeth-aching article well-worth reading the whole thing. Some gets a bit detailed in technical, financials machinations, but overall it's quite clear. However, prior to reading this, I had intended to write about something the very opposite. After all, as Nell and I scour the globe for public apologies, we don't limits our efforts to wrong-headed ones, but also to give equal due top-notch ones. I think I've come across a gem. This was posted by Chris Pratt, who co-starred on Parks and Rec, and is about to head off on a promotional tour for the upcoming Jurassic World, in which he stars. He posted to following on his Facebook page. It's a hoot, and he gets the concept of apologies spot-on right. I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming "JurassicWorld" press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s). Here we have Ray Bolger and Judy Garland singing a couple songs from The Wizard of Oz. Big deal, I hear you cry. We've seen that countless times. But no, I'm not talking about them in the 1939 movie -- this is the two together 25 years later, in 1964, when he appears as a guest on her TV show. They reminisce a bit interspersed with them performing those two numbers. It's quite a treat. It's clearly all planned, but also cleary not rehearsed much...if at all, so there's a sense of spontaneity to it. I was never a fan of her TV series. As a little kid, I was always sort of creeped out by how nervous she came across to me. And some of those comes through here, but mostly she appears very affectionate towards Bolger, which seems to bring out a comforting, happy sensibility. And so, we're off to see... Well, we've turned the bend. I officially hit the halfway point, and have now reached page 728. That means there are only a mere 727 pages to go. Things have been fairly peaceful lately, though there have been a lot of machinations between a wide range of princes, princesses, counts and contessas -- but as the year 1812 begins, troops on both sides have started to concentrate at the western Russian border. That means only one thing -- we have to honor what is about to come with the finale of...you know what. Cannons included at no extra charage Yes, it's that time again -- this month's tech column, The Writers Workbench. As I note, this is a pain to re-code for posting here, so rather them do so on these pages, I just provide a link to the same column on the Writers Guild website, which you can find here, The column this month is about solar chargers. For inexplicable reasons, I love portable chargers, and for years have been intrigued by those that are solar. As technology has improved with longer-life batteries the advantages of solar charges have dwindled, though they're still valuable, most especially on camping trips and also (though to a lesser degree) for day hikes. By the way, the most important feature of any solar-powered device is surface space, probably even more so that the technology of the solar cells themselves. The more surface space, the more of the sun's energy can be utilized. That's why there are a few interesting additions to the pack of solar chargers now.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about a feature that ESPN did on its ESPN:60 program that was quite a rarity, in that it was about a sportscaster on another network, TNT's Ernie Johnson. It initially aired just before Johnson won an Emmy for best studio host, and then promptly gave the award to the daughters of the late Stuart Scott, who recently passed away from cancer, and who Johnson said had been such a support and inspiration to him.
(You can see that wonderful, moving moment here.) The feature on Johnson was...well, "spectacular," and saying that doesn't do it justice. The best I can come up with to explain it properly is to quote how Mark Perner of the Philadelphia Daily News began his column about the feature when it originally aired. "Up until Tuesday morning, I had looked at Ernie Johnson as the geeky guy on TNT who did an absolutely terrific job keeping Charles, Kenny and Shaq under control. "In a span of less than 24 hours, my respect for Johnson reached a level that I cannot comprehend." I think that's pretty close -- My respect for Ernie Johnson reached a level that I cannot comprehend. It's worth adding that, though Ernie is the famous name and face, his wife Cheryl comes across as pretty darn special and heroic, too. I said at the time that the video wasn't available online, but I'd keep looking, and was sure it would be posted by ESPN eventually. And said that I'd post it here as soon as it was there. It's now there. And here it is. If you don't like basketball, if you don't like sports, if you don't have 23 minutes to spare -- watch this video anyway. Find the time. I only use the phrase, "Trust me," on rare occasions. I take words seriously, and when I say "Trust me," I mean it, not as a tossed off phrase,. I take trust seriously. Trust me. Find the 23 minutes and watch this video. There might be a brief commercial that precedes it. Then, be prepared for your respect of Ernie Johnson, and Cheryl Johnson, to reach a level that you can't comprehend. You might find yourself watching TNT's in-studio basketball programs, just because you like Ernie Johnson that much. Even if you don't like basketball. It is now near-impossible to not like Ernie. |
AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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