It's a bad Daily Double for Oprah Winfrey's two doctors. This is not on her -- she began work with them 15-20 years ago. Life was very different. Their work in their specific fields had a level of expertise that could be beneficial to people. After two decades, times change, people change. Moreover, she certainly didn't anticipate them attempted to address a worldwide pandemic No, this is on them entirely. Still, she must be pounding her head into the wall these days.
Dr. Mehmet Oz had his screw-up and horrible attempt at an apology yesterday. Now its psychologist Phil McGraw's turn. His comments Friday on Laura Ingraham's show (which, being on, may have been the first giveaway to buckle your seat belts) were bad enough. “And they’re doing that because people are dying from the coronavirus. I get that. But look, the fact of the matter is we have people dying, 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, 360,000 a year from swimming pools, but we don’t shut the country down for that. But yet we are doing it for this and the fallout is going to last for years because people’s lives are being destroyed.” Phil McGraw has now attempted a follow-up, something that I suspect he considered people to view as an "apology." I suspect this because it uses the word "apologize" in it. Otherwise, it would be less clear. And so, his comments yesterday are now yet another case study for Nell Minow and my Apology Institute of America. Phil McGraw begins -- “If you didn’t like my choice of words, I apologize for that." That's enough right there. You can stop and know this is an F, because with that as the starting "thought process," it means what comes next is not going to get better enough to raise the grade to anything in the D-level. But remarkably the whole thing may be worse. In full, he said -- "If you don’t like my choice of words, hit the eject button on those, but don’t ever think I’m not concerned about you. And I know that the longer we stay in quarantine, the more psychological issues we’ll have.” To be clear, this is not about "us." It's about what Phil McGraw said. Not his "choice" of words" -- everything we say is a choice of words --, but his ignorant meaning of them. His. Don't blame others, take responsibility for that. This is the first rule of an actual apology. If it was just about what others felt or liked or foolishly misunderstood, you'd have nothing to apologize for. You only apologize if you screwed up and did something wrong. Further, and more to the point about the meaning of what he said, rather than just the "choice of words," is that cars aren't infectious. Drowning isn't infectious. Even cigarettes aren't infectious. They are each a one-time occurrence. They may happen tens of thousands of times a year, but each one is individual and doesn't bring about another. There is no cause and effect. A pandemic, however, can kill many millions of people in one pass, as each person infects another. And another. And another. Repeat this a few million times.. And yes, it's true, a quarantine can cause psychological damage. But then, that's why we have qualified psychologists to help them through. Not to give lamebrain advice out of their area of expertise for people to go to work and spread infectious death. Something which, by the way, causes even worse damage -- psychological & otherwise. This is how the apology should go -- "The other day, I said something very wrong. I compared deaths that are a normal part of life and each of them a one-time event to an infectious pandemic. That was wrong of me and foolish. I apologize. It seemed callous, and I apologize for that, as well. I don't believe that, and I won't repeat it. My point, that was horribly phrased, is that when any death occurs, it takes a great psychological toll. And quarantining, which is not a natural state for people, takes a psychological toll, as well. And when looking what is best for society, we have to look at not just the physical health of people and economic health of people, but also the psychological health of people, all together. It is all connected. I didn't say that. I was wrong. I apologize. I know this is a horrific situation. People are hurting in every way imaginable, and I hope everyone -- medical doctors, politicians, scientists, businessmen, psychologists, EMT workers, people still going to work every day in the essential jobs to society, people staying at home for protection of society, everyone -- everyone can work together and find the best way to get us all through this crisis. Which I know we will." That's one way to apologize. I think it's a good start.
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AuthorRobert J. Elisberg is a political commentator, screenwriter, novelist, tech writer and also some other things that I just tend to keep forgetting. Feedspot Badge of Honor
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